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Banks

  1. N.Y. Investigating Banks’ Influence on Rating Agencies, Times SaysCuomo leading inquiry of eight banks.
  2. Report: Feds Investigating Morgan Stanley ‘Dead Presidents’ DealsLike Goldman Sachs, the firm created CDOs and used them to bet against the housing market.
  3. Andrew Cuomo Sues Bank of New York Over ‘Egregious’ Breach of Conduct in Madoff AffairThe New York Attorney General continues his crusade against financial institutions, and the English language.
  4. Senate Votes Against Amendment Designed to End ‘Too Big to Fail’Three Republicans vote for the provision.
  5. Goldman Stays ‘Chill’ As Market CrashesAlso, Citi says it’s not to blame.
  6. Report: Stock-Market Plunge May Have Been Caused by Idiot Citigroup TraderA trader may have entered a “b” for billion instead of an “m” for million in a trade, messing up global markets.
  7. Banker Saves Septuagenarian Trapped in Corn SiloReally? What is going on.
  8. Bankers Rescue Children From Burning BuildingOr so they SAY.
  9. Amid SEC Circus, Goldman Sachs Reports $3.46 Billion in EarningsIn light of recent events involving the firm, we appreciate the support of our clients and shareholders, and the dedication and commitment of our people.”
  10. Merrill Lynch Acquisition Finally Paying Off for Bank of AmericaSomewhere, Ken Lewis is saying “I told you so.”
  11. Washington Mutual Failed Because It Wasn’t Part of the Cool Crowd, Says Former CEOEverything always comes back to high school.
  12. Jamie Dimon Will Speak to Syracuse Students Whether They Like It or NotHe won’t even acknowledge their protests.
  13. Bankers Who Threaten to Quit Over Reduced Compensation May Be Big LiarsThe coming financial-services exodus may just be another urban legend.
  14. Friendly Robber Wishes Victims WellNot all robbers are bad people, it turns out.
  15. Serious, Legitimate Offer Made to People Who Hate Goldman SachsSomeone from Craigslist.
  16. Bank of America Plans to Eliminate Overdraft Fees on Debit PurchasesGone are the days of “$40 cups of coffee” … for Bank of America customers, at least.
  17. Too Big to Fail and Zombies to Be Produced by HBOThis is may be a missed opportunity.
  18. Vikram Pandit to Thank the GovernmentYou read that right. This man has no pride.
  19. White House Bites Bullet, Puts Out Volcker RulesWe’ll see how far they get.
  20. Federal Reserve Raises Interest Rate on Money Loaned to BanksOne-quarter of a percentage point.
  21. Former Bank of America CEO Tries to Sell House Where Terrible Thing Once HappenedKen Lewis’s house is full of bad memories.
  22. Ornery Cab Driver Busts Bank Robber by Just Being HimselfThese people are heroes.
  23. Some Bankers Are Taking Big Bonuses This Year, But They Are Not FamousTherefore people don’t care as much.
  24. In Heart of the Crisis, Bank of America Exec Bought Ferrari, Rethought ItHe exchanged it for a “less showy” Maserati, according to his dealer.
  25. Smart People on the Proposed Bank Plan: ‘Okay,’ But ‘Whatever’Legislation exhaustion takes its toll on the commentariat.
  26. Mayor Bloomberg Is Having None of Obama’s Banking RulesHe’s also got an idea for those fools in Washington.
  27. Bernanke ‘Welcomes’ a ‘Full Review’ of AIG BailoutsCome on in, look around, the Fed chairman has nothing to hide.
  28. Wall Street Gears Up to Fight Bank TaxMaybe this is a good thing?
  29. Gisele Gives $1.5 Million To Haiti ReliefWhich makes her a bigger donor than Goldman Sachs, not that anyone is cynically keeping track of that.
  30. Even RBS CEO’s Parents Think He Is OverpaidAnd he told them to sod off.
  31. Administration Considers Charging Banks a Fee for Their TransactionsBut we’re the ones who will probably end up paying it.
  32. Geithner’s New York Fed Tried to Cover Up AIG PayoutsNot really “cover up.” Just make it a “less transparent event.”
  33. JPMorgan’s Christmas Gift to the Rich and the (Relatively) PoorThey’re lifting the salary freeze on employees, just in time for bonus season.
  34. Feds Weren’t the Only Thing That Drove Ken Lewis to the EdgeThe Bank of America CEO was being hounded by his mother, for one.
  35. Bank of America Posts $1 Billion LossThis makes us feel less bad about CEO Ken Lewis getting no pay this year.
  36. Citigroup Posts Loss, Tries to Make It Sound Like ProfitNo one was really fooled.
  37. JPMorgan Posts $3.59 Billion ProfitBut hold the bubbly: Credit cards are still a problem.
  38. Ken Lewis Will Retire With Ginormous Pile of CashThe Bank of America CEO will get $53 million.
  39. Sheila Bair Would Rather Eat Worms Than Ask Tim Geithner for HelpAnd that’s the least of what she’s willing to do.
  40. Where Citigroup’s Going, They Don’t Need RoadsCiti is becoming a “bank of the future” by catering to folks just like us.
  41. SEC Sues Bank of America, Bank of America SettlesWe all lose.
  42. Good King JamieThe JPMorgan CEO is the star of Wall Street’s current morality play.
  43. Times Gets In On Goldman Sachs Name-calling GameThe paper of record will see Taibbi’s “great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity” and raise him an orc.
  44. Hey, Everybody: Being a Banker Is Awesome AgainSalaries are up, up, up! Even if profits are not.
  45. Bank Executives Get Bonuses When Their Employees DieMore bad PR for Bank of America, and others.
  46. Certain CEOs Have 30 Days to Convince People They Are Not MoronsWhich is going to be tough for some, who have spent the last year convincing people of precisely the opposite.
  47. Most Banks Pass ‘Stress Tests’Even accounting for the worst possible scenarios, most of the nineteen financial institutions analyzed by the government seem to be capitalized well enough to survive.
  48. Government Seeks to Make Banks Less Profitable As It Acquires Large Stake in ThemThe administration has a confusing new plan for the bailout funds.
  49. Goldman Sachs Posts Profit, Vows to Pay Back TARPIn yo’ face, populace.
  50. Meredith Whitney Is Not ‘That Great,’ Okay?Before we douse her with more champagne, put her on TV with Charlie Rose and hand over the keys to the Treasury Department, it might be worth taking another look at what really happened.”
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