Britney Spears

That's what Alec Baldwin said! Plus, Eva Amurri and Julianne Moore are putting themselves and others at risk. And a depressing Gary Coleman item that we put at the very bottom.

It's not terribly high fashion, but the girl's got to take things one step at a time.

He says to her, "[You are] coming back not only as a phoenix, but as a bird of paradise."

Which makes us feel, like, zero percent bad for her, because even people with alien-goddess faces need to deal with schlubs sometimes.

Beyoncé is making history with her silver hand and car-wash shades, inspiring us to take a look back at the iconic moments in diva fashion history.

Cult-hero fan vidder Luminosity picks the best fan vids of the year.

They're judging the "Britney Spears Biggest Fan Contest" in Times Square the night before her album drops.

Rihanna's "Bitch I'm Special," meet Britney Spears's "Kill the Lights." And … fight!

We've already started doing butt crunches.

Plus, both Cindy and Liz seem really cranky after the exhausting election. In the cloudy-day gossip roundup!

Plus, makeup artist Dick Page collaborates with Shiseido, and you can style your hair like Don Draper for Halloween.

Rocco wore a Yankees shirt at Chelsea Piers! Also, Chrissie Hynde says something cryptic about Obama. In your daily gossip multivitamin!

But only if it's tight enough.

Elizabeth Taylor does tequila shots at the Abbey? Liz Smith compares Cindy Adams and Barbara Walters to Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus? Ian McKellen defaces Bibles? Shazam!

Did he REALLY have to put it that way? Plus, Tom and Gisele are probs getting married — awesome, you guys! In Monday's gaggle o' gossip.

But they WERE shouting her name at the opening last night, and Ben DID say she "italicizes" all her lines. Just sayin'. And also, of course, Madonna and Peter Cook, in the gossip round-up.

Joe the Plumber is getting the full celebrity treatment.

So that's what that recent Patrick Demarchelier shoot was for!

Also, Vanessa Paradis and Johnny Depp are antisocial and Chicago Fashion Week now respected.

It's about time, Halle, you're 42! Plus, it's about the only non-dull news in today's gossip roundup.