Displaying all articles tagged:

Can U Not

  1. can u not
    Guy Tries to Prove He’s Not a Creep by Writing World’s Creepiest Blog PostTruly beyond the pale.
  2. can u not
    Citadel Cadets Suspended After Wearing White Pillowcases on HeadsThe students at the military college said they were performing a “Ghosts of Christmas Past” sketch.
  3. department of bad ideas
    Gun-Rights Groups Staging Fake Mass ShootingThey are also going to march around with loaded guns. 
  4. can u not
    Not Content With Already Having It All, Man Claims ‘Period Pain’ for HimselfIs nothing sacred?
  5. can u not
    Don’t Use Rape to Advertise Your Black Friday SaleTerrible idea.
  6. bad ideas
    Canadian Man Faces Jail Time for Smuggling Turtles in His PantsHe strapped 41 turtles around his legs and hid 10 in between.
  7. can u not
    Thai Printer Decides Not to Publish Front-Page Story About How Economy StinksIt’s not like anyone will notice that there is a huge blank space in the middle of the page, right?
  8. can u not
    Vogue Really Wants to Ruin Thanksgiving DinnerSo does PopSugar, Time, and The Weather Channel.
  9. oops
    Drunk Russian Sailor Crashes Massive Cargo Ship at Full Speed The 7,000-ton ship was so badly damaged it had to be scrapped. 
  10. can u not
    Alright, Who’s Going to Tell the Men They’re Wrong About ‘Man Periods’?It’s gonna have to be me, isn’t it.
  11. can u not
    Oxford Dictionaries’ Word of the Year Isn’t Even a Word, It’s an EmojiWhat’s the emoji for “embarrassing bid for relevancy”?
  12. can u not
    Man Demands Refund for $5 Coffee After Woman Turns Down Second DateClassy move.
  13. can u not
    Aircraft-Annoying Lasers Now Taking Over Skies in BrooklynHow many helicopters does it take to find a laser pointer?
  14. can u not
    Why Is This Random European Dude Talking to Me at 7 a.m.?Make him stop.
  15. can u not
    Does Anyone Know How to Return This Gift I Got From God?I kind of wanted a KitchenAid …
  16. can u not
    Trump Says Wearing a Burka Is Easier Because You Get to Skip Putting on Makeup“Fact is, it’s easier. You don’t have to put on makeup. Look how beautiful everyone looks.”
  17. can u not
    Least-Useful Avenger Says It’s ‘Not My Job’ to Help Actresses Get Equal PayLuckily, the women of Hollywood don’t need his help.
  18. What Kind of Monster Would Buy These Incredibly Lifelike Cat Purses?I’m freaked out.
  19. can u not
    Ben Carson Tries to Top Himself, Blames Holocaust on Gun ControlIt’s a popular theory, though it’s been repeatedly debunked.
  20. video
    Anti-Sexism Ad Yanked for Being SexistOops.
  21. state politics
    State Rep. Involved in Weird Scandal ResignsThe fake scandal failed to save Michigan State representative Todd Courser’s job. 
  22. can u not
    Don’t Ask Serena Williams Why She’s Not Smiling“To be perfectly honest I don’t want to be here.”
  23. crimes and misdemeanors
    Couple Arrested for Taking Selfies on Boat Already Occupied by Sleeping FamilyThey left behind a bag of still-warm food from a KFC/Taco Bell. 
  24. can u not
    How Not to Message a Woman OnlineA case study.
  25. 2016
    Deez Nuts Sparks Fake-Candidate EpidemicThere are multiple Joe Bidens now running for president. 
  26. can u not
    How I Attain Perfection Without Even TryingA young, beautiful celebrity lets us in on her secret regimen for attaining perfection. Hint: It’s nothing.
  27. can u not
    Cheating Allegations Hit Little League Softball World Series Really?
  28. can u not
    Is There Any Right Way to Reject a Guy? [Updated]Sadly, there is no Harry Potter spell that casts away manbabies.
  29. crimes and misdemeanors
    Police Very Confused by People Sneaking Into Stinky SewerThe men were reportedly on a treasure hunt.
  30. video
    Grown Man Throws On-Air Tantrum Over the Kardashians“I’m having a good Friday, so I refuse to talk about the Kardashians today.”
  31. can u not
    Michigan State Rep. Says He Was BlackmailedTodd Courser plans to stay in government so he can expose “political shenanigans.”
  32. State Representative Tries to Hide Affair by Spreading Rumors About HimselfHow to completely fail at hiding a scandal. 
  33. can u not
    Kelly Osbourne Was Reminded That Ironic Racism Is Still RacistShe was aiming for Daily Show but landed closer to Tosh.0.
  34. can u not
    FBI Arrests North Carolina Men Allegedly Prepping for U.S. to Impose Martial LawOne of the three accused men was preparing homemade explosives called “game changers,” for the post-Jade Helm United States.
  35. can u not
    Man Realizes Petting Cougars Was ‘Bad Decision’“They wanted me to pet them.”
  36. crimes and misdemeanors
    Pennsylvania Mailman Charged With Delivering Other People’s Mail to HimselfFederal authorities had doubts that all 22,000 pieces of mail were addressed to him. 
  37. can u not
    Teen Arrested After Allegedly Stealing $30 From Lemonade StandThis is the second lemonade-stand robbery reported this month.
  38. can u not
    Woman Finds New Thing to Blame Obama ForA woman arrested for counterfeiting money in Tennessee tells police that the president told her to do it.
  39. seaworld
    PETA Thinks Gung-Ho Animal Activist Was Maybe Just Undercover SeaWorld Employee“Grab your pitch forks and torches. Time to take down SeaWorld.”
  40. Sheriff Joe Arpaio Gets Tough on Horse Sex“These animals are not meant to be sex toys for the perverted,” says Joe Arpaio.
  41. NYPD Fails to Notice Guy With Selfie Stick on Top of Brooklyn Bridge“I don’t recommend anybody else do it. It’s not a smart thing to do because I know they take security on the bridges seriously.”
  42. can u not
    Everybody, Give Attention to These Men for Doing Things Women Do Every DayHere’s that participation trophy you clearly want so badly.
  43. Man Who Threatened to Join ISIS Wants Cat BackHe just wanted his cat back. 
  44. can u not
    Male Psychiatrist Discovers New Mental Illness: Dowdiness“I raised the obvious: Had she considered getting a makeover?”
  45. can u not
    Meanwhile, on the Upper West Side: ‘Dog Racism’“It’s like dog racism essentially.”
  46. can u not
    Austin Government Pays Man to Explain WomenJonathan K. Allen offered helpful advice, such as numbers confuse the ladies and ugh they talk nonstop.
  47. can u not
    Okay, Which One of You Left 800 Used Adult Diapers on the Side of the Road?You really need to stop doing it.
  48. can u not
    How Do You Spot a Male Feminist? He’ll Tell YouPlease join me in a resounding “nope” for the Male Feminists of New York Calendar.
  49. can u not
    Men Now Scheduling Vasectomies As Excuse to Stay Home and Watch March Madness“It seemed like a great combination because you’re supposed to be on the couch for a few days.”
  50. can u not
    Mountain Lion Literally Can’t EvenHappy Friday!
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