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  1. Chimpanzees Have Discovered Dumb Fashion TrendsThat sticking-grass-in-your-ear thing you thought was hilarious in preschool? Chimps just stole it.
  2. Chimps: Better Than Us?Chimps, always jerks, can now rub a new study touting their superiority in our faces. Thanks for nothing, science.
  3. Your New ‘Tonight Show’ Host: Jack Paar!The Paley Center for Media, which has locations in both New York and LA, dedicates itself to the preservation of television and radio history. […]
  4. Federal Government Suspends New Medical Testing on ChimpsSorry, mice. Maybe learn sign language or something.
  5. What Separates Us From Chimps?Lost DNA.
  6. Sandra Herold, Owner of Marauding Chimp Travis, Dies of a Broken HeartSad.
  7. Scientists Continue to Facilitate Our Animal EnemiesWhy are we giving video cameras to the chimps?
  8. animies
    Connecticut Won’t Press Charges Against Chimp OwnerSandra Herold, the Connecticut woman whose pet chimpanzee, Travis, attacked her friend, is off the hook in at least one respect.
  9. Connecticut Chimp-Attack Victim Reveals Her Face on OprahIt’s pretty bad.
  10. Never Let a Monkey See You SweatHow not to be terrorized by monkeys, should you come into contact with them.
  11. crazy people
    MF Doom to Pay Tribute to Fallen Killer ChimpHe’s writing a song from the chimp’s perspective.
  12. Here Is a Video of Monkeys Having a Pool PartyBecause we don’t know about you, but we need a break from thinking about health care.
  13. An Ape Pulled a Knife on Another ApeYesterday at a zoo in Canada, a gorilla picked up a knife that a zoo employee accidentally left in his cage and appeared to threaten another gorilla with it.
  14. Chimps Living as Humans Are Actually an American TraditionThe ‘Times’ tells us a sweet story about a man reconnecting with a childhood pet-sister.
  15. That Crazy Chimp Was on Drugs After AllXanax, to be precise. Guess it didn’t work.
  16. Travis the Chimp’s Owner Getting Sued for $50 MillionWell, obviously.
  17. Chimps Stockpiling Weapons, Planning AttacksChilling news: Chimps are planning attacks in advance.
  18. Congress Makes Halfhearted Attempt at Preventing Future Monkey AttacksNever again.”
  19. Al Sharpton Says Post Cartoon Might Be Kind of RacistDid it compare President Obama to a chimp?
  20. Ape Living Life of Connecticut Divorcée Goes WildMauls local female after she gets fetching new haircut.