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Chuck Schumer

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Some Guardian Angel

Chuck Schumer isn't really dissuading challengers to Kirsten Gillibrand.

By Dan Amira

Schumer Lays Down the Law

You'll take your stimulus money, and you'll like it! ... Or we'll take it.

By Dan Amira

David Paterson Is Sworn In as Governor, Promises Good Times Ahead

Governor David Paterson was just sworn in and gave his first address as head of the state. And boy, was he excited. It was hard not to get giddy for him, even though he took about ten minutes to introduce everybody that came to see the event (Hillary Clinton! Chuck Schumer! The governors of New Jersey, Connecticut, and Massachusetts! (The last of whom is also black!) Mayor Bloomberg! Paterson's stepdaughter! Yaaaaay!). Every dignitary in the audience seemed to be wearing at least one piece of ridiculous green flair, which added a comical air to the proceedings. Paterson allowed himself only one swipe at Spitzer, saying: "[My wife] Michelle and I have a different kind of marriage," before pausing for laughs. His speech was centered upon the theme of moving forward "in spite of obstacles and regardless of circumstance." He also challenged party leaders to work together on issues, unlike in the past. To close his speech, he couldn't resist a moment of triumph. "Let me reintroduce myself," he shouted. "I am David Paterson, and I am the governor of New York State." We wondered whether it was too much, but then, as the standing ovation stretched toward two minutes long, we realized it wasn't. This guy is going to be fun.

Mick Jagger Is Friends With Leonardo DiCaprio and Q-Tip

Bruce Willis yelled, "I've abandoned my son!" four times while dining at Freemans with an exotic dancer the other night, then did shots with the bartender. Mick Jagger, Q-Tip, and Leonardo DiCaprio were all hanging out at Upstairs on Monday night. Kathleen Turner's Crimes of the Heart castmates can't tell if she's drunk or just tired. The Observer's Spencer Morgan "bitch slapped" Men's Vogue writer Hudson Morgan at the Beatrice Inn, but they made up soon after. Matthew McConaughey's chest is at the top of In Touch Weekly's list of Top Ten hot chests. Jason Bateman and Ricky Schroder are not working on a screenplay of Silver Spoons, although that would be awesome.