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Client 9

  1. Spitzer: ‘I’ve Never Said I Would Never Consider Running for Office Again’He and Hillary Clinton need to start a club or something.
  2. Spitzer Repudiates Claims in Former Senior Adviser’s BookConstantine offers potential diagnosis for Spitzer’s behavior.
  3. David Paterson Has an Ace New AdviserEliot Spitzer!
  4. Eliot Spitzer Went on The Colbert Report Last NightSince, as the host points out, it’s not like he has to worry about being humiliated these days.
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    Eliot Spitzer Doesn’t Think He Should Be Giving Advice to Tiger WoodsBut he kind of does anyway.
  6. There Are Just Some Things Spitzer Tell-all Writer Lloyd Constantine Won’t DivulgeLike whether Spitzer is still talking to him, for example.
  7. Eliot Spitzer Is No Kirsten Gillibrand FanThat’s fine. She thinks he stinks too.
  8. Spitzer in the Times: Show Us AIG E-mailsMaybe he should release his e-mails, too.
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    Eliot Spitzer Considering Comeback! Still!The love gov is “strongly considering” running for comptroller, and Governor Paterson likes the idea.
  10. Eliot Spitzer: ‘I Don’t Think The Wall Street Journal Has the Foggiest Idea of What Capitalism Is All About’In an ‘Interview’ piece, the former governor goes after his most recent nemesis.
  11. Eliot Spitzer to Give Lecture at Harvard Ethics CenterSome people — well, so far just his former madam — think this is too much.
  12. Eliot Spitzer Doesn’t Do HousegirlsHave you heard the one about the former governor and the prostitute?
  13. College Co-eds Already Hitting on Professor Eliot SpitzerPretty soon City College is going to look like the opening scenes of ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark.’
  14. Oddly, Republicans Are Most Enthusiastic About Spitzer ReturnAnd about 47 percent of New Yorkers are keeping an open mind.
  15. Spitzer Foe Opposes Former Governor’s Plans to Run for OfficeAshley Dupré is “not happy about it,” the former prostie says through her spokesMILF.
  16. Meet Professor SpitzerHe’s teaching a class at City College!
  17. Don’t Call It a Comeback, Spitzer’s Been Here for YearsRockin’ his peers and puttin’ suckas in fear.
  18. ‘Eliot Spitzer, What Are You Thinking?’We don’t know what Liz Claman of Fox Business News said to the former governor to get him on her show last night, but it probably wasn’t, “Let me spend fifteen minutes or so pouring scalding wax on your nether regions, verbally.”
  19. Spitzer Met With Emperors Club Ladies for Nearly Two YearsWith multiple different aliases!
  20. Eliot Spitzer Talks About the Economy, His ‘Gremlins’ on Today ShowGremlins is another word for hookers, apparently.
  21. Spitzer Returns to the Scene of the CrimeThe former governor bought a building right near the hotel where he had relations with that woman.
  22. Eliot Spitzer Was a ‘Weasel’ About CondomsOh, ew.
  23. Silda Edits Eliot’s Slate Columns!Overheard: the former governor and Slate columnist discussing his creative process.
  24. So Eliot Spitzer Walks Into a Massage Parlor…The former governor and current Slate columnist walked into a media party at Happy Ending with his head held high.
  25. Fans to Joe Torre: Did You Get a Haircut?'Joe Torre’s new look, Ashlee Simpson’s continued Saturday Night Live ban, and Rudy Giuliani’s black eye — read all about it in our daily roundup of the juice in New York’s gossip columns.
  26. EXCLUSIVE! Silda Wall Spitzer and Hillary Clinton’s Phone ConversationExclusively in our imaginations, that is. We’re not sure whether Hillary Clinton, in the past 48 hours, has called Silda Wall Spitzer. But it’s not out of the realm of possibility. Clinton is close with the Spitzers, and she did call Dina Matos McGreevey after her ordeal with the whole “My husband’s a gay governor” thing to give counsel. So we’re just going to assume that she did for a moment (we’re not sure you’ll ever hear the real story confirmed by her press people anyway — they likely don’t want to remind everyone that Hillary for a long time was best known for standing by a philandering husband). We’ll never know for sure what might have gone on in such a conversation (until, of course, Silda gives up on Eliot and gets her $3 million book deal), but we do have an idea. Thus, we have constructed for your reading pleasure an imaginary phone conversation between Hillary Clinton and Silda Wall Spitzer: [A phone rings somewhere in the Spitzer apartment on the Upper East Side. Silda is holed up in the bedroom, reading a copy of Honor Thyself, Danielle Steel’s latest best-seller. She does not get up — the thing has been ringing off the hook, and it’s always for him. Usually these insistent calls come late at night, after she’s thankfully taken a Klonopin and drifted off to sleep. On the other side of the apartment, Eliot is surrounded by advisers in the children’s playroom. He is seated precariously on a Playmobil tea table. He picks up the phone.] Eliot: If this is anyone but the Daily Princetonian, I have no comment, okay? Hillary: Hello, Eliot. Eliot: Kristen? Is it you? I’ve been trying— Hillary: NO, it’s not KRISTEN. God, they always have white-trash names, don’t they? Eliot: Mom?