When celebrities tell magazines they became walking spaghetti strands by doing yoga and walking their dogs, they're lying. In fact, they're overexercising, starving themselves, smoking cigarettes, and taking drugs and prescription horse pills…
If you're not already up to your neck in fashion, this fall you will be — literally. Sculpted, architectural collars turned neutral-toned coats into loud, dramatic pieces. Maison Martin Margiela’s beige blazer featured a deep V, exposing a bare chest offset by square shoulders, while Stella McCartney’s collar offered a wraparound variation (which doubles as a wool scarf for ultimate winter protection). And at Costume National, the funnel carved into a long black coat delicately drew attention to the face of Mariacarla Boscono. For fall, bundling up means you’ve got to go big.
Today Business Week's Jon Fine has a bunch of advice for new Tribune Co. owner Sam Zell. It's all about how to make the most of his recent acquisition and includes counsel like "Outsource all printing," "Don't fall for the mirage of synergy," and "Don't be afraid of price hikes." Very technical stuff, and probably very useful. But come on. Zell is a new media baron. He has much more important changes to worry about, like how to change his personal life and habits in order to fit the role! Not just anybody can be a press lord. It takes a specific breed of crotchety old men with unique sexual proclivities and horrendous progeny to fit the bill. So we've come up with some advice for Zell that has actual practical applications. Without further ado:
• Dump your wife of many years and immediately marry a much younger, much more Asian version.
• Pit your children against one another in a battle to become your heir apparent, in which none have any hope of winning.
• Start getting mad about Israel.
• Get to work on that gin-blossom look.
• Begin hanging around with Tom Wolfe or an equivalent writer who will fictionalize you and talk appropriately about your masculinity.
• Get anointed as a member of the Order of Letters or Knights of the Garter from a foreign nation. Then insist upon being called "Lord."
• Pick a nemesis, preferably one whose company is already weakening. Then attack!
• Sleep with Jane Fonda. If possible, make her feel bad about herself.
Come on, Sammy! Get started! Those kids won't disinherit themselves!
You've Got Tribune. Now Do Something [Business Week]
Name: Gemma Ward Age: 19 Job: Model-actress Neighborhood: East Village, but on the move …
Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
What's the best meal you've eaten in New York?
I have had my fair share of four-hour lunches at La Bottega at the Maritime Hotel, but it's a great hang and the margherita pizza is fantastic.
In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
Drink coffee and read the paper while getting hair, makeup, and nails done, get undressed, get dressed, pose, leap, laugh, get undressed, eat lunch, touch-ups, get dressed, get undressed, get dressed. etc. etc. etc.