It's not funny.
The suspect didn't exactly make himself hard to find.
Hubbard says he's been wrongly fingered in connection to the theft of many, many fingers of the rare booze.
Police have ruled out Jim Beam and Jack Daniel.
The suspected crack user actually works as a substance-abuse counselor.
It's easy to see how the two things could be confused.
The DEA got suspicious after the fast-food restaurant rolled out its limited-edition "Kush Burger."
The worst-case scenario has just occurred.
Now he's in jail.
It's happening in Massachusetts, Texas, and Florida.
It's just a matter of hometown pride.
She finally saw a chance to have it her way, and she took it.
No word on whether Mrs. Butterworth makes a cameo in the script.
Time to take out the trash.
The criminal tried to steal the entire cash register.