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It basically never even happened.
Some bottomless photos have emerged in a Danish tabloid.
And thus ends the royal couple's glorious Diamond Jubilee tour.
Also, she's better at clay drawings than Prince William.
Anxiety! Relief! Suspense!
Someone give this guy a promotion.
The money goes to her charity, of course.
She can even make cubic zirconia look classy.
But it's a British beach, so too cold for flip-flops or swimmies.