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Trader Joe's Wants You … to Vaseline Your Teeth

Bay Ridge: They're saying that Representative. Fossella hasn't come through on promises to help save a beautiful Methodist church from being razed for condo development. [Queens Crap] Coney Island: We are increasingly intrigued by Rose, the compellingly coiffed lady who delivers terse morning weather reports on this blog from a tower high atop Coney. Let's hear more about Rose! [OTBKB] Dumbo: Looks like yuppies and Farragut Houses residents alike will be rubbing shoulders over toothpaste and T.P. at the "New Pharmacy Coming Soon!" to Gold Street. [Brownstoner] Forest Hills: If you're an ambitious, adventurous, values- and people-oriented foodie who smiles easily, then the new Trader Joe's here wants you! [Forest Hills 72] Harlem: With HIV infections in the city's young gay men up a third since 2001, the biggest jump in that group is here and East Harlem. Come on, brothas and papis — and Chelsea boys too, for that matter — rock the cock sock! [NYS] Long Island City: Sounds like there's an itty-bitty park planned for that waterfront lot at the end of Vernon Boulevard. Nice. [LICNYC] Melrose: Who's going to plunk down $25 mil to buy the fabulously rococo, former Bronx County Courthouse? And what'll they use it for? [Curbed]

Roosevelt Islanders Resent Their Frothy Moat

BoCoCa: The skateboarders terrorizing this Boerum Hill/Cobble Hill/Carroll Gardens "compound" neighborhood are "light-skinned and Asian." Sound the alarm gong! [Brooklynian] Chelsea: The fact that Ethan Hawke has stepped up against the de-corporatization of the Chelsea Hotel does not keep denizens there from mocking his "experimental" film Chelsea Walls. [Living with Legends] Dumbo: Sounds like a few hard-core panhandlers continue to thwart the hood's evolution toward loftopia. Aw. [DumboNYC] Gowanus: The sleek new Hotel Le Bleu's opening is delayed again, now till October 1. Could they be cowed by their own nightly rates of up to $400 (for Gowanus)? [Brownstoner] Harlem: Keith Haring's 1986 "Crack Is Wack" mural in Harlem River Park is getting a makeover. You know what? We miss Keith Haring. [About.com] Roosevelt Island: The locals are griping that they have no way of gaining access to the water, even though they're surrounded by it — being on an island and all. [Roosevelt Islander] Williamsburg: Hipsters are getting mugged around here — and we don't mean in East Williamsburg (né Bushwick), we mean in the expensive, trendy part! [Brooklyn Paper]

Red Hook Vendors Safe for Season; Fro-Yo Knockoff Welcomed in Jackson Heights

Astoria: Does Joey take a cut of Sicilian slice sales, or is Rose & Joe’s really worth a special trip? Let us know what you think of their square pies at grubstreet@nymag.com. [Joey in Astoria] Chelsea: Toast Timbo at a Pier 60 fund-raiser tomorrow night offering copious amounts of food and drink in memory of a young victim of Traumatic Brain Injury. [Timbo Fund] Dumbo: Blanc & Rouge pits Bordeaux against Burgundy in tasting on September 26. [Dumbo NYC] Greenwich Village: BBQ on University closed without warning last night, but there is hope its greasy treats and fishbowls of fluorescent libations will return to another Eighth Street space. [Eater] Harlem: There’s interest in pinpointing what’s lacking for restaurants in the nabe. [Uptown Flavor] Jackson Heights: The next shameless knockoff to touch down in Queens: Yogurberry. [Eat for Victory/VV] Red Hook: The Parks Department grants ball-field vendors extended permits letting them finish the season ending October 21. And maybe longer; Senator Schumer says that he “looks forward to eating goat tacos, ceviche and spicy corn on the cob at the ball fields for years to come.” [City Room/NYT] West Village: Centro Vinoteca has a full new lunch menu highlighted by polpette burgers and "cubano toscano" sandwiches.

Brooklyn Raccoons Fighting Back at Last

Bedford-Stuyvesant: Property prices are coming down here. Is the checkered hood the first to feel the mighty real-estate market tremble? [Brownstoner] Chelsea: As the Chelsea Hotel faces possible big changes, denizens last week went through the trash in front of the hotel to salvage art books featuring, uh, the hotel. How poignantly meta-something is that? [Living with Legends] Dumbo: What's more exciting around here this week: Film-shoot sightings of that adorable Cameron and Ashton or news that Vinegar Hill will get its very own mom-and-pop pharmacy? You decide. [DumboNYC] Fort Greene: The city wants to use eminent domain to claim a liquor store turned just-finished arts venue as space for a dance company and new housing units. [Gothamist via Brooklyn Paper] Greenpoint: Edits on subway ads here for Tim Gunn's new fashion makeover show indicate that locals would like it to feature more fried-chicken-eating chicks with dicks. [Newyorkshitty] Harlem: Columbia upperclasspeople want the newbies to know that Harlem is not that dangerous and worth checking out — even if, yes, 125th Street is kinda trashy. [Columbia Spectator] Park Slope: The park's geese, ducks, and raccoons are getting aggressive and biting residents. Maybe they're just stressed from trying to get their broods into the hood's top-ranked animal schools. [Gowanus Lounge]

Council Members Finally Wonder, Hey, What's Up With the F Train?

Coney Island: City Councilmen Simcha Felder of Borough Park and Dominic Recchia of Coney Island get behind an F Express plan, demanding the MTA to explain its foot-dragging. [Second Avenue Sagas] Dumbo: There are only three days left to appreciate the Brooklyn Waterfront Artists Coalition’s outdoor art display at Empire-Fulton Ferry and Brooklyn Bridge Parks. It's actually quite nice – and you haven't done much appreciating lately. [DumboNYC] Staten Island: Prosecutors have charged a handyman in a string of break-ins on the North Shore, but stop short of saying they've ended the notorious North Shore Burglar's reign of terror. Man, Staten Island rules. [Staten Island Advance] Stuyvesant Town: Stuy Town's new ad campaign reads, "Live closer to Greenwich Village than Greenwich, CT." Mm. We didn't know Connecticut was so, um, dormy. [Stuyvesant Town] West Bronx: Max Roach, the legendary jazz drummer, will be buried on Friday at Woodlawn Cemetery, near the tombs of Miles Davis and Duke Ellington. [West Bronx News] West Village: The Jefferson Market Library on Sixth Avenue is finally going to get its makeover. Knowing you, you're just going to start complaining about the scaffolding. [Curbed]

Squid Guts, Massage Parlors, and Discounted Wine

Dumbo: Superfine is hosting a Brazilian cocktail and dance party on Sunday night to benefit a “baptism ceremony for new students” of Capoeira Brooklyn. [Dumbo NYC] East Village: Squid guts at Menkui-tei in Cooper Square are not as delicious as they sound. [Eat for Victory/VV] Fort Greene: A bakery called Krumbs will open in the old Frosted Moon Emporium on Vanderbilt just near Myrtle. [Clinton Hill Blog] Lower East Side: Schiller’s wants you to know that it’s not a massage parlor. Oh, and delivery is discounted. [Eater] Midtown East: Crush Wine is taking 20 percent off all white bottles under $55 through this Friday. [Grub Street] West Village: Scott Bryan expects to have his kitchen at 10 Downing Street up and running by November. [Mouthing Off]

Duck! It's a Bay Area Culinary Invasion!

Clinton Hill: The old guy who sharpens knives out of a truck is still news to some residents. [Clinton Hill Blog] Dumbo: Almondine Bakery is now serving crêpes and ice-cream sundaes. [Dumbo NYC] East Village: A San Francisco chef has moved east and opened a café called Abraco on 7th Street at First Avenue with a pastry chef formerly of Babycakes. [Eater] Morningside Heights: Night Cafe’s nightly rounds of trivia will be missed when the hangout closes in the next month. [NYT via Uptown Flavor] Upper West Side: Bodrum, a Mediterranean restaurant that serves Turkish meze, has just opened on Amsterdam Avenue near 88th Street. [Grub Street] West Village: Paris Commune gets no love from former diners, who want the place to give up already and close. [Eater]

It's Grass, Not Garbage, That Attracts Rats in Chelsea

Brooklyn Heights: If only the kids around here could reference MC Hammer correctly. [Brooklyn Heights Blog] Bushwick: Gentrification is forcing frustrated superintendents to gussy up their own threatening signs. [Newyorkshitty] Chelsea: Blame the rat infestation in the park on Ninth Avenue on the plant liriope. It provides excellent cover for burrows. [Blog Chelsea] Cobble Hill: The home of the Independence Community Foundation is gone; look for six-story apartment building at 182 Atlantic, instead. [McBrooklyn] Coney Island: Want to work at a karaoke bar? One here is hiring. [Kinetic Carnival] Dumbo: Folks are moving into the J Condo and paying $300 to $350 a month for parking spaces. [DumboNYC] Park Slope: The Fifth Avenue dog run has too many overexcited dogs. [Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn] Prospect Heights: The Buildings Department blamed water damage and Forest City Ratner for the Ward Baking Co. collapse. [NYDN] West Bronx: Neighbors proved a point to gangs and drug dealers at last night's "National Night Out." [West Bronx News]

Botanical Fight: Who's Got the Greenest Block in Brooklyn?

Bedford-Stuyvesant: MacDonough between Stuyvesant and Lewis Avenues is the Greenest Block in Brooklyn, says the borough's Botanic Garden. [Gothamist] Bushwick: New condos on Wyckoff Avenue are cheaper than much of the market, but that's because the closest subway stop is Dekalb Avenue on the L. [Brownstoner] Dumbo: The grand opening of the Pearl Street Triangle is tomorrow at 12:30. Check out the benches, chairs, and potted trees. [Dumbo NYC] Greenpoint: What was that mysterious, brightly lit new storefront on Franklin last night? Hipsters? Poles? Fresh retail? [Greenpointers] Kensington: Folks in this up-and-coming enclave want you to know that recent crimes reported to have taken place here actually happened in Flatbush, okay? [Kensington (Brooklyn)] Long Island City: The neighborhood has spawned a new MP3 download service. [LICNYC] Williamsburg: Some locals dispute recent media assertions that the city has been cracking down on rogue construction around here. [Gowanus Lounge]

All the World's a Duane Reade

Bedford-Stuyvesant: With the real library closed (endlessly…) for renovations, a host for the "Free Children's Library of Bed-Stuy" is sought. [BedStuyBlog] Coney Island: While Coney's amusement-park future remains up in the air, live animals are thrown through the air at the nearby, sketchy Sea Rise housing projects. [Brooklyn Eagle via McBrooklyn] Dumbo: Four West Coast street artists are putting up a pretty cool graffiti on Water Street at Pearl. [DumboNYC] Flushing: There are big puddles all over Flushing Meadows Corona Park, which are leading to swarms of mosquitoes, which are terrorizing people. [Queens Tribune via Queens Crap] Greenpoint: There's no better way to undermine your attempt to build a period-looking brownstone than by sticking balconies on it. Real classy, Bridge Realty. [Newyorkshitty] Midtown West: God help us, it's finally happened: two Duane Reades, right across the street from each other. [East Village Idiot] Park Slope: Anyone know if Shaya Boymelgreen has cleaned up the scaffolding around his Novo condo on Fourth Avenue that collapsed into the street Saturday? [Brownstoner]

Rayuela Brings More Brunch to the LES

Dumbo/Fulton Ferry: Friday night at Rebar promises “free partial-nude drawing.” [Dumbo NYC] East Village: Simone on First Avenue is closed, but let’s pray not for good. [Down by the Hipster] Lower East Side: Rayuela has launched a weekend brunch with arepas and poached eggs, churros and Mayan chocolate, and guanabana mimosas plus live salsa music Sundays. [Grub Street] Midtown West: Just when you thought he'd had enough of the limelight, Rocco DiSpirito will be the guest chef tomorrow at the Condé Nast cafeteria. [Eater] Times Square: Ruby Tuesday will sidle up next to Red Lobster but may fare better with New York diners thanks to “fully upholstered chairs.” [Lost City] Williamsburg: New fro-yo destination /eks/ whips up fresh organic yogurt and incorporates recycling holes into its cartoon-covered walls. [Gridskipper]

Dumbo Gets All Historical

Brooklyn Heights: Neighbors are riled over rumors of the murder of a century-old elm tree. [Brooklyn Heights Blog] Bushwick: If you press a buzzer and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? [Newyorkshitty] Carroll Gardens: Don't mess with the garden diva. Just don't. [McBrooklyn] Cobble Hill: Will chain stores make this place more like the LES than the West Village? [NYT via A Brooklyn Life] Coney Island: Thor Equities tries to get all groovy in promoting its new attractions that no one seems to like. [Kinetic Carnival] Dumbo: The Landmarks Preservation Commission voted 8-0 to consider the whole neighborhood for landmark status. [Dumbo NYC] Upper East Side: Sometimes a bookstore can make you forget what a giant expense hole we live in. [Around the Block on the Upper East Side]

High Line to Get New Glass Tower

Chelsea: Architect Stephen Holl surprised Charlie Rose last night when he announced on the TV show that he's designing a glassy tower for the "spur" of the High Line, at 30th Street. [BlogChelsea] Dumbo: Some jerk decapitated the Urban Fossil Bird Woman sculpture in Brooklyn Bridge Park! That wasn't very cool. [DumboNYC] Greenpoint: Locals will rally on Franklin Street tonight to say "No, No, No!" to harassment from landlords. [Newyorkshitty] Kensington: Check the expiration date on items from Foodtown, locals warn. [KensingtonBlog] Long Island City: Why is the Landmarks Preservation Commission fawning all over altered buildings on the LES but ignoring the historical buildings here? [Queens Crap] Times Square: Remember the halcyon days when a walk down 42nd Street would yield leers from a real live pervert … not a giant M&M ad? [Copyranter]

Park Slope Bullies Foreigner Into Changing Business Name

Bay Ridge: Allowing a Home Depot here will just open a Pandora's box for other big stores, say opponents. [Brooklyn Eagle via McBrooklyn] Cobble Hill: Book Court is expanding out back and hopes to bring in booze to attract the young folk. [The Brooklyn Paper] Dumbo: Unpopular landowner Baruch Singer bought a Bridge Street building and plans to convert it into 53 apartments. [Brownstoner] Gowanus: When the hard rain falls, move your stuff to high ground. [Gowanus Lounge] Greenpoint: Beware the MetroCard machine at the Bedford Avenue L stop. There might be a dead rat blocking up the change chute. [Newyorkshitty] Greenwich Village: Neighbors fear noisy, lengthy MTA construction of an "emergency ventilation plant." [Blog Chelsea] Park Slope: Proprietor changes the name of his store from "A.R.E.N.A. Bagels" to "A.R.E.A. Bagels" so customers won't think he supports Atlantic Yards. [Brooklyn Paper]

Rats Attack Chelsea Health Clinic

Battery Park City: The Solaire, which touts itself as "America's first environmentally advanced residential tower," is cracking down on bikes parked in hallways. [Streetsblog] Brooklyn Heights: The Love Lane Garage will close at month's end, to make room for — OMG, this is so surprising! — new condos. [Brooklyn Heights Blog] Central Park: Free classical music does nothing but bring out the rudeness in people. Fortunately, no fistfights. This isn't Boston, after all. [City Specific] Chelsea: Ew, rats! No, not the condo developers — real rats! And all over the park in front of the Ninth Avenue city health clinic, no less. [Blog Chelsea] Dumbo: Is the spruced-up Pearl Street Triangle painted the same lime green as the city's bike lanes because the Department of Transportation had extra paint left over, or because it really likes this color? [Brownstoner] Gowanus: A whole lotta enviro-cleanup is going to have to happen before the city can turn the parcel known as Public Place into the affordable-housing complex it envisions. [Gowanus Lounge] Upper West Side: Fights reportedly broke out at the Columbus Circle Whole Foods this morning as people queued up to by ecofriendly, $15 designer canvas "I'm Not a Plastic Bag" shopping sacks. [Gothamist]

Let's Go to Red Hook and Burn Cars!

Brooklyn Heights: The Henry Street bike lane has been painted solid green … and it looks kinda cool! Will other bike lanes citywide get the look? [McBrooklyn] Chelsea: Even as the Chelsea Hotel, under new corporate management, prepares to go sorta fancy, it's slashing nightly rates to as low as $99. What gives? [LivingWithLegends] Coney Island: The circus is coming here for a week starting July 30, complete with Pastel Poodles and the Human Cannonball! [KineticCarnival] Dumbo: The hood just wasn't complete without a full-service pet-supply store–slash–kung fu academy. And now it has one. [DumboNYC] Greenpoint: On Franklin Street, E.T. mounts a lemur from behind while simultaneously ruining your childhood. [Newyorkshitty] Red Hook: Ritual car-burnings on Beard Street continue here, even in the shadow of the in-progress Ikea. [GowanusLounge] West Village: Work is under way to bring some order to the chaotic (and a wee bit dangerous) meatpacking-district intersection of Ninth Avenue and 14th Street. [Streetsblog]

When Brooklyn Commenters Attack

Boerum Hill: Brownstoner hates a Robert Scarano building, but commenters think the blogger has a grudge. [Brownstoner] Brooklyn Heights: Costume-makeup-sex-toy emporium Ricky's is promising nervous locals that, when it opens on staid Montague Street in September, it'll keep the dildos out of direct view. [Brooklyn Eagle via McBrooklyn] Dumbo: Transformation of the Pearl Street Triangle has sparked a heated local debate (check the comments) on homeless people in the ever-more-gentrified hood. [DumboNYC] Maspeth: Might St. Saviour's Church be saved from demolition on the grounds that the wreckers have broken federal law by cutting down trees harboring migrating birds? [Queens Crap] South Jamaica: "We're losing our capes!" No, it's not a superheroes' lament. Just locals in this Queens burg mourning the supplanting of cute, small-scale homes with plot-hogging McMansions. [Progressive Southside] Upper West Side: It's overpriced camp season again, which means a lot of bad chords coming from your kid's bedroom. [Copyranter]

Red Hook Too Gentrified for Wild Dogs

Boerum Hill: The unidentified crapper has been caught in the act! [Curbed] Dumbo: The acronym may actually mean "Down Under the Manhattan and Brooklyn Overpasses." [Dumbo NYC] Fort Greene: Architectural salvage up for grabs: mantels, mirrors, bathtubs, and more! [Brownstoner] Greenpoint: If you need a Panama hat or a fine Mexican wedding shirt, go to Huitzilli. [newyorkshitty] Long Island City: Pay $5,000 a month for 4,700 square feet. [OuterB] Red Hook: A couple of the wild dogs from the Revere Sugar Factory have found a new home in Pennsylvania. [Gowanus Lounge]

Pools, Parks, Protests!

Astoria: The pool isn't open yet, but at least there's water in it now. [Joey in Astoria] Carroll Gardens: Since that F-train petition is so popular, why not one against too tall buildings? [Carroll Gardens Petition via 423 Smith] Dumbo: Work begins on the Pearl Street Triangle, but will the planned street furniture encourage the homeless to linger? [Dumbo NYC] Morris Heights: Roberto Clemente State Park's pools open today! [West Bronx News] Willets Point: A contingent from this Queens industrial neighborhood protested eminent-domain abuse at City Hall yesterday. [Atlantic Yards Report] Williamsburg: East River State Park will be open seven days a week beginning July 3. [I'm Not Sayin, I'm Just Sayin]

Can Ethan Hawke Save the Chelsea Hotel?

Astoria: A month after its opening day, the Astoria Park Pool is still closed. [LICNYC] Chelsea: Hood heartthrob Ethan Hawke stopped by the Chelsea Hotel to tell the new managers he's watching them like a, well, hawk. [Living with Legends] Dumbo: Filming on the latest mind-bending Charlie Kaufman flick is taking place here. [DumboNYC] Flatbush: Finally see the faces behind all those snarky Brooklyn blogs … they were all here last night at café Vox Pop. [Flatbush Gardener] Long Island City: Gentrification has brought a bevy of laundromats to the area. Now where are all the damn cobblers? [LICNYC] Park Slope: Taggers don't take kindly to a new Prudential Douglas Elliman office. [Gowanus Lounge] Prospect Park: Cars aren't supposed to be in the park after seven, but video surveillance by annoyed pedestrians catches violators. [StreetFilms via Gothamist]