Nick Lachey threw a hissy fit at a JCPenney party on Hudson Street, despite the fact that he was being paid to be there. Michael Strahan says he loves girlfriend Nicole Murphy, but isn't sure about marriage. Execs at Sony are annoyed that Michael Jackson's Thriller 25 is on the Billboard oldies' chart instead of the Billboard Top 200 chart, despite the fact that it has six new songs. Nelly picked up the coat-check girl at Plumm. Outkast's André 3000 is looking for an apartment in the city and just toured a multi-million-dollar penthouse on West 13th Street. Justin Timberlake gave menu recommendations to patrons at his Southern Hospitality.
The View hostess Elisabeth Hasselbeck is just consistently misunderstood. First of all, she tells Newsweek, she is an "artist" — not a mere talking head. Secondly, she was "joking" (and totally hormonal!) when she said that Hillary Clinton had her vote after the senator sent her a nice note when her baby was born. But what's really bizarre, she says, is how people think she's kind of a bitch. "People are, like, 'she must be witchy,'" Hasselbeck says. But that's not her fault, see. The liberal media makes her look that way. "I think it's the liberal bias in the media that I'm the one who's argumentative," she says. That's funny, because we would think it's all the screeching about "our enemies in Iraq" and "life begins at penetration" shrillery that comes out of her own mouth on live television that would make people think that.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck [Newsweek]
We totally rolled our eyes at Bob Morris's very last "Age of Dissonance" column in the "Sunday Styles" section this weekend, because the "Thank You Notes Are Nice" column has been written approximately 400 gazillion times before, although probably not ever preceded by the awesome caveat, “if you want to be sure to be included in a will…" But that was before we saw the true transformative qualities a handwritten note can have! This morning's Post reports that such a note from Hillary Clinton actually managed to flip right-wing harpy Elisabeth Hasselbeck into a Democrat! Apparently, Hillary sent Hasselbeck a missive after the birth of her son a couple of weeks ago. It was "truly a most thoughtful and warm act," Hasselbeck told the Post. "I may actually change my vote." Well, how about that! If anyone needs us, we'll be at home calligraphing thank-you notes to Jared Kushner and Stan O'Neal. Maybe they'll include us in their wills!
A New "View" On Old Clinton [NYP]
Yes, Thank You [NYT]
Rosie O'Donnell's chief writer at The View was busted for drawing mustaches on pictures of arch-nemesis Elisabeth Hasselback. Accused D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey wants to publicize more names from her client list, but ABC News says there are no other even remotely noteworthy names on it. David Blaine wants to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge. (Please!) Mary-Kate Olsen and Matthew Modine are set to join the cast of Weeds. The maps have been removed from Jodi's Shortcuts, the semi-famous Hamptons traffic-avoidance routes. Callers trying to reach Sarah Silverman as part of an MTV Movie Awards promo have been accidentally dialing some company in Texas.