So January was cold, and February was short, but now it's finally March. And you know what that means? It's party time! No, not for you. For people who matter. We know since SocialiteRank.com shut down nearly a year ago, you haven't been as able to keep track of what's been going on with Tinsley and Zani and Margherita, but, trust us, they're still out every night, flawlessly executing that arm move that Ellen Page has been trying to imitate! See, March is when the events for young socialites really begin in earnest. Last night saw the Riverkeeper benefit at the Hearst Tower, hosted by the ecocharity's junior council. Scheduled next week is the American Museum of Natural History's Winter Dance and the Frick's Young Fellows' Ball. A quick peek down the list of all the host committees show that, this year, all the fun is dominated by one set of friends. Claire Bernard, Maggie Betts, and Jamie Johnson are on the committees of all three of the above events, and they are joined here and there by Amanda Hearst, Hudson Morgan, Annie Churchill, Andrew Black, Derek Blasberg, and Byrdie Bell. This is a little bit of a shift away from the Tinsley-Dabney-Lydia axis, but it's essentially the same gang. Which isn't surprising, only…where's Olivia Palermo?
Now, we like Ellen Page as much as everyone else. She was super-cute in Juno and we even concede she is probably doable even though we're a gay and a chick who's not into that. But there's this thing she's been doing that bugs us. This thing with her arm. It's kind of like a variation on the standard red-carpet pose — hand on hip, shoulders back — that one does to make one's arm look thin, only Ellen does it in this really extreme way. It's almost as though she is about to bust into the Funky Chicken, but with only one-half of her body. As you can see from the above photo, the arm has moved further and further back as she has progressively become more famous, until it is now almost almost perpendicular to her body. We're starting to become quite concerned, not just because if this continues Ellen might actually dislocate her shoulder, but because the pose kind of screams, "I'm a red carpet novice! And also probably weird about my weight!" and you know, we just don't want her to go all Jennifer Hudson on us and win an Oscar and only pop up again playing a bit part.
Related: Ellen Page Not Doable Enough to Win Best Actress, Blogger Claims [Vulture]
Veronica Hearst is using her Fifth Avenue apartment and a property in upstate New York as collateral in case the auction for her 52-room mansion in Palm Beach doesn't hit $40 million. Meanwhile, her step-granddaughter Lydia Hearst just bought a $1.49 million apartment in the Sheffield 57 on West 57th. Damon Dash got freaked out by the lunar eclipse. CNBC's Money Honey, Maria Bartiromo, has joined the board at her alma mater, NYU. Cindy Adams thinks Ellen Page is, uh, "a young, white, female Obama."
Nick Lachey threw a hissy fit at a JCPenney party on Hudson Street, despite the fact that he was being paid to be there. Michael Strahan says he loves girlfriend Nicole Murphy, but isn't sure about marriage. Execs at Sony are annoyed that Michael Jackson's Thriller 25 is on the Billboard oldies' chart instead of the Billboard Top 200 chart, despite the fact that it has six new songs. Nelly picked up the coat-check girl at Plumm. Outkast's André 3000 is looking for an apartment in the city and just toured a multi-million-dollar penthouse on West 13th Street. Justin Timberlake gave menu recommendations to patrons at his Southern Hospitality.