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Displaying all articles tagged:
Excuses
excuses
Apr. 11, 2018
Police Officers Fired After Claiming Mice Ate 1,000 Pounds of Missing Weed
An adorable, but not scientifically sound, story.
By
Gabriella Paiella
excuses
Oct. 11, 2016
Man Says He Couldn’t Have Assaulted Two Women Because His Penis Is Too Small
Ah, the anatomy defense.
By
Susan Rinkunas
excuses
Dec. 16, 2015
Man Says He Tripped and His Penis Fell Into Teen
That’s not how these things work.
By
Dayna Evans
stand clear of the closing doors
Dec. 9, 2013
MTA’s Late Notes Pose Little Threat to the Standard Tardiness Excuse
You can still blame it on the train.
By
Adam Martin
July 2, 2013
James Clapper Comes Up With Latest Excuse for Lying to Congress
He just “didn’t think” about the program that collects phone metadata from everybody.
By
Dan Amira
cicada plague
May 20, 2013
Impending Cicada Plague a Great Excuse to Work From Home
Because who’s to say you don’t have a deadly fear of cicadas?
By
Dan Amira
stand clear of the closing doors
Oct. 2, 2012
MTA Ruins Subway-Related Tardiness Excuse
But there won’t actually be fewer delays.
By
Margaret Hartmann
stand clear of the closing doors
July 9, 2012
New Yorkers Had a Pretty Good Excuse for Being Late Today
The MetroCard machines stopped working.
By
Joe Coscarelli
excuses
June 20, 2012
Rubio Cancels Appearances on
The Daily Show
and
Focal Point
Suspicious.
By
Brett Smiley
Aug. 29, 2011
Do You or Someone You Love Have Comedian Personality Disorder?
Self-diagnose away: “Comedians are all afflicted with a personality disorder that drives our pursuit of impracticality. Personality disorders […]
By
Adam Frucci
excuses
Mar. 9, 2011
Michael Bay Blames Alcohol for Brief Desire to Make Smaller Movies
“I was one or two martinis in.”
By
Kyle Buchanan
billionaires they’re just like us
Dec. 1, 2010
When It Comes to His Bridge Game, Warren Buffett Can Be a Little Flaky
“Tell them I have a business meeting.”
By
Mike Vilensky
science
Oct. 24, 2010
So, Actually, The World Might Not End in 2012
Cancel your New Year’s plans.
By
Mike Vilensky
excuses
Jan. 27, 2010
Mel Gibson Took a Break Because He Was Bored
It had nothing to do with anti-Semitism.
By
Adam K. Raymond
jury duty
Jan. 24, 2010
President Obama Skips Out on Jury Duty
Sounds like more of the same.
By
Adam K. Raymond
excuses
Mar. 23, 2009
Kurt Russell’s Dubious Reason for Turning Down
The Expendables
Not interested in ensemble acting, eh?
By
Mark Graham
excuses
Dec. 19, 2008
Jeremy Piven, Hypochondriac
You know what they say about excuses!
By
Mark Graham