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Roger Ailes Is Chesty, Related to Lucifer. Maybe.

Ailes

Many of you may not know Dan Cooper. He's a sort-of-disgruntled former employee of the Fox News Channel who worked through its launch in 1996 and 1997 (according to his Website, he helped figure out how to get "truly local weather to be placed in a 'bug' in the corner of the screen"). He's been writing a book about the experience, called Naked Launch, which is apparently pretty scathing to FNC co-creator Roger Ailes. Jossip hears that he's about to set part of his criticism on his Website later today, including this gem:
The best thing that ever happened to Roger Ailes was 9/11. Even Roger Ailes, Machiavellian as he was, couldn’t have dreamed up anybody as fabulous as Usama bin Laden (Allah told Roger to spell it Usama), or UBL, as Fox News called him. Because somebody up there, or down there, loved Roger, 9/11 happened on his watch. It gave him the opportunity to throw gasoline on the bonfire he had already set to scorch and destroy traditional liberal values. For those of you under 50, the United States once had liberal values. There was even such a thing as liberal Republicans. That’s enough of that, because I know talking about the Devil’s spawn and blond big-boobed temptresses is far more interesting. But hang on a bit.
On 9/11 and Ailes, well, duh. But we kind of love Roger Ailes for what he's done with the Fox Business Network of Joy and for being so unashamed about everything Foxy. Still, "Devil's spawn" and "big-boobed temptresses"? We'd totally buy a book about him if it were written in the voice of Anne Rice! Former Roger Ailes Confidant Dan Cooper is Ready to Spill Blood [Jossip]

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CNBC and the ‘Times’: United Against Fox Business Network!

Ailes
Did anybody else notice the funny timing of the New York Times' attack coverage of Fox Business Network? On January 4, Jacques Steinberg and Brian Stelter wrote a story called "Few Viewers for Infancy of Fox Business," in which the two television writers tore down the new channel for getting only about 6,000 viewers during the day. "By contrast, Fox Business’s chief competitor, CNBC, attracted about 283,000 viewers each weekday," the story explained, going on to accuse FBN of having "bravado" during their launch. "Thus far, at least, CNBC would seem to have easily eluded Fox’s crosshairs," the writers cackle. The numbers were based on secret Nielsen ratings for the new channel that only CNBC and FBN had paid to receive. On the same day, there were several other stories on the topic, with less gleeful Schadenfreude. And since, in those stories, a Fox rep spoke with reporters, it's probably a safe bet that they didn't cooperate on the Times story. In other words, they probably didn't leak the unpublished Nielsen ratings: CNBC most likely did. Now, it's pretty easy to understand wanting Rupert Murdoch and Fox to fail. But the aggression in this story was put into a surprising new context yesterday when it was announced that CNBC and the New York Times are starting a content-sharing partnership that has been in the works for a while. From the Reuters story reporting the collaboration:
The deal also gives the Times and CNBC access to each other's breaking business news as Rupert Murdoch's News Corp prepares to fight them both with the nascent Fox Business Network cable channel and the recently acquired Wall Street Journal.
Um, huh. Is it us, or does it seem like CNBC and the Times had already started fighting side by side? New York 'Times' And CNBC in Web Deal [NYT]

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Imus Sucker Punches Brokaw

MEDIA • Don Imus on Tom Brokaw: "He is not the most courageous person I've ever met in my life. He's not the guy I'd want to be in a foxhole with." You see, Brokaw didn't defend Imus when he was down-and-out because of the whole "nappy-headed-hos" incident. Resentment, now that takes courage! [NYP] • Shocker: CNBC is actually scared shitless of Fox Business News. They're now asking guests to choose sides, threatening to drop them if they dare to appear on Murdoch's new down-home network. [Silicon Alley Insider] • Veteran literary agent Lynn Nesbit wants a new publishing madman: "Even [former Simon & Schuster CEO] Dick Synder is a lot more colorful than [newly departed Simon & Schuster CEO] Jack Romanos, who is now gone. I mean, they had passion, they cared about literature. Even Dick, who's not an intellectual. He cared. He was a madman . . . . Who is a madman now in publishing? . . . It was just different then." Hi, Lynn, allow us to introduce you to our favorite publishing madwoman, Judith Regan. [Media Mob/NYO]

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Happy Holidays, From the Fox Business Network

Fox
When we received this card from the Fox Business Network today, our first instinct was to recoil in horror. Lord, have mercy! we said to ourselves (because sometimes the voice in our heads sounds a little like a southern grandmother). That pack of dogs is trying to tear that poor, defenseless Christmas tree limb from limb! Then we realized, They're not dogs. They're foxes! For Fox Business News! So does the tree then symbolize CNBC? Wow, that is sick. Look at that long, horrible tongue on that one — Oh. That's not a tongue. That's a…bugle? Finally, we got it: The foxes are supposed to be, like…angels. Which makes the golden Fox Business logo at the top…God? Then, slowly, we opened the card…

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CNBC Asks: Fox Business Network Anchors, Hot or Not?

FBN
Last week Portfolio's Jeff Bercovici reported that CNBC says they're not worried about Fox Business Network anymore. Crowed a CNBC press release:
During November when the stock market has swung wildly, viewers tuned to CNBC, First in Business Worldwide, for fast, accurate, actionable and unbiased business news. In measured ratings, CNBC had its best November in total viewers since 2000 in Business Day and its best November in the key adults 25-54 year-old demographic since 2003. It was also CNBC's best month in Business Day programming in total viewers since August 2002.
Yet this week we find out they're still clearly worried about something. On a routine viewer poll, the seven-year-old finance network asked respondents to rate how they feel about CNBC anchors and also FBN anchors. An FBN spokesman was quick to snap, "example number 252 of CNBC not being ‘worried’ about FBN," reports Inside Cable News. Hm. We didn't see the whole survey, but we think this is nothing out of the ordinary. Have you seen the hottie FBN anchors? If you had to monitor them as your competition all day, you'd want to play Chuck, Fuck or Marry too! CNBC Wants to Know What You Think of FBN Talent [Inside Cable News via TVNewser/Mediabistro] CNBC: Fox Business? What Fox Business? [Mixed Media/Portfolio] Earlier: Fox Business Networl: Full of Foxes!

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Rupert and Ted Dine À Deux

Ted Rupert
This is just embarrassing. With five tabloid gossip columns in this city and countless gossip Websites, and it was L.A. Weekly's Nikki Finke that spotted arch-rivals Ted Turner and Rupert Murdoch out on a lunch date together? Okay, granted, it was at Turner's restaurant, Ted's Montana Grill, so probably nobody was really looking, but still. This is what the Finkster has to report:
Sources said to me that the lunch was requested by Turner (est worth $2.3 bil) in an effort to "bury the hatchet" with Murdoch (est worth $8.8 bil). It came just days after a GQ interview was published with the CNN founder blaming the Fox News Channel founder for helping get America into the Iraq mess and labeling it "Rupert's war" — and FNC in response using air time to belittle and demean Turner as "off his rocker." Now, Murdoch can use the Wall Street Journal and new Fox Business Channel to belittle and demean Turner as well. "Ted reached out in the hope to make nice to Rupert now that he's the biggest media mogul in the world," a Murdoch insider told me. Did it work? "Rupert doesn't change anything. He still goes after anyone he wants."
As we all know, Murdoch's News Corp recently surpassed Time Warner as the globe's largest media conglomerate. We're guessing it was a testy lunch — for a brief run through of all the icky background between the two, see Finke's piece. In the meantime, we are totally going to start lurking around the Olive Garden in Times Square. We just know that's where Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell have been hanging out. Ted and Rupert Break Bread Together [Deadline Hollywood Daily]

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Fox Business Network's ‘Happy Hour’ Not As Happy As You Might Think

Cody Willard
Today Jon Friedman wrote an uncomfortable open love poem to Fox Business Network's Cody Willard. It begins thusly:
Late Thursday afternoon
A tall, exuberant Cody Willard
Bounded into the Bull and Bear.
The 35-year-old co-anchor
Smacked the bartender's palm
Then wound up and high-fived a Fox technician
Producing a sudden, crackling, WHAP sound.
It goes on but we know it's five o'clock and you guys are just trying to make it through the day, so we'll let you off the hook. We bring it up, not because we disagree with Friedman's worship of the FBN early-evening show, Happy Hour. In fact, we are fans. Last week we watched the show, and within one hour they had chef Rocco DiSpirito, skateboarder Tony Hawk, and porn star Savannah Samson as guests. How can you beat that? But we just want to make a point to all of those people who think they are watching a hot dude and dudette drink with celebrities and talk about the stock market: They're not actually drinking. Even though the show is set at the Bull and Bear bar on Wall Street, co-host Rebecca Gomez told us at last week's launch party that she drinks cranberry juice and Willard drinks Sprite on the air. Yeah, that's right. Now we really have no idea where those FBN anchors get all that optimism. Fox Business Network's: Happy Hour Might Be a Breakout Hit [MarketWatch] Earlier: Fox Business Network: Full of Foxes!

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