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Goldmanfellas

  1. Look Out, Wall Street: The Goldman Sachs Partners Ball Is BackA precrisis ritual makes its return.
  2. Lloyd Blankfein Knows He’s Got a Bad ReputationHe’s gonna stay on two more years to try to fix it.
  3. Goldman Sachs Profit Fell 21 Percent, So Why Is Lloyd Still ‘Pleased’?Thanks, Warren!
  4. New Senate Report: ‘Goldman Clearly Misled Their Clients and They Misled the Congress’How will Lloyd get out of this one?
  5. Jon Corzine Tries to Build Himself a Mini Goldman SachsVolcker rules do not apply.
  6. Goldman Sachs Actually Better at Marketing Than Managing AssetsLloyd’s Boys couldn’t help Blankfein out of this one.
  7. Goldman Sachs: The ReapingThe evil angle on Goldman Sachs’s lousy earnings report.
  8. Botched Facebook Deal Makes Everybody Hate GoldmanFacebook deal on, Facebook deal off.
  9. Goldman to America: No Facebook for YouGoldman is excluding its U.S. clients from investing in Facebook.
  10. Lloyd Blankfein Wants What Morgan Stanley Has: GrouponGroupon shall be his!
  11. Goldman’s Leaked Memo to Rich Investors Exposes Facebook’s Actual EarningsAnd the SEC’s investigation.
  12. Facebook’s Russian Investor and Goldman Sachs Are Friends With BenefitsHow would you like to legitimize my investments?
  13. With Facebook Deal, Goldman Sachs Now Able to Get Clients to ‘Shaft Themselves’It was very pesky when they had to convince clients they wanted to be shafted.
  14. Goldman Bonuses to Hit Record Lows?Compensation at the firm this year is said to be at the second-lowest level since going public.
  15. Goldman Sachs VP Sergey Aleynikov Found Guilty of Economic EspionageThe man who brought high-frequency trading to light gets convicted for trying to steal Goldman’s code.
  16. Goldman Sachs Makes 110 People’s DayThe finance equivalent of appearing on the “My Favorite Things” episode of Oprah.
  17. The Mysteries of the Goldman Sachs Partnering Process, RevealedA former Goldman Sachs partner describes one of their most sacred rituals.
  18. Goldman Sachs Will Never Be the SameNo more cursing.
  19. Goldman Sachs Founder Sometimes Wore a Cape and CrownHe also carried a white cane.
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    Gary Cohn Can’t Spell, But He Is Not StupidGoldman’s COO can immediately suss out who is a “retread” and who is not.
  21. Goldman Sachs Not Guilty of at Least One ThingThe AIG rescue at least wasn’t a “concerted” effort to save Goldman Sachs.
  22. Lloyd Blankfein Reflects On His ‘Wet and Sticky’ Adolescent SummersThe Goldman Sachs CEO talks about how he “learned the value of a dollar.”
  23. Goldman Sachs: Basically a Sorority That Makes Money on Things Other Than Car WashesAt the Squid, conformist behavior leads to group eating disorders.
  24. Jon Corzine Tries to Distract Everyone From Goldman Sachs Issues With Sexy Sexagenarian Love StoryAw, these Goldman guys will do anything for each other.
  25. Jon Corzine: People Are Just Jealous of Goldman SachsOh no he didn’t.
  26. Lloyd Blankfein’s Bonus: $9 Million in Stock, No CashGoldman CEO’s bonus falls way below estimates.
  27. Goldman Sachs CEO Is Reportedly a $100 Million ManAt least that’s how big his bonus for 2009 will be.
  28. Jon Winkelried Left Goldman Sachs Because He Wanted to Get Back to the LandAnd so he did.
  29. Goldman Sachs Keeping Bonus Numbers to Itself for NowIt’s more exciting that way.
  30. Goldman Sachs Responds to Naming of Bonus Recipients With Name-CallingThe speculation about compensation is ill-informed and, frankly, pretty stupid.”
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    Goldman Sachs Basically Benefited From 9/11, Implies News StoryThe villainization of Goldman Sachs continues.
  32. Goldman Sachs Adviser Arthur Levitt Will Withstand Your AbuseBecause the rewards are so worth it.
  33. Top Goldman Executives Won’t Get Cash Bonuses This YearScore one for the loudmouth populace.
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    Are Goldman Sachs Bankers Really ‘Loading Up On Firearms’?Of course not, silly.
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    Goldman Bores Its Investors Into Not Caring About Monster Bonuses“See, we got to $70 million because xy2 + yx + x = 0.”
  36. Goldman Sachs Calls On the Big Guy to Help Them OutFinally, the bank gets advice from someone people actually listen to.
  37. Goldman Sachs Is Going to Give People Millions of DollarsThe firm has created a $500 million initiative to assist small businesses.
  38. Lloyd Blankfein Apologizes (Kind Of)The Goldman Sachs CEO messes it up with one noun.
  39. Goldman Sachs Charged With Abandoning Loves KittensOn top of everything else, this.
  40. World Fails to Get Lloyd Blankfein’s JokeThe Goldman CEO learns the meaning of “too soon.”
  41. Goldman Sachs, Newly Mindful of OpticsWe don’t club baby seals. We club babies.”
  42. SEC Installs 29-Year-Old As Enforcement Division’s COOThat’s young!
  43. Goldman Sachs Nets Another $3 BillionAnd is anyone happy about it? No.
  44. Financial Crisis Hands Corzine Rival Goldman OpportunityA rival to the New Jersey governor is using his Goldman Sachs past against him.
  45. Unknown Terror Keeps Goldman Sachs Employees SilentEmployees will not even speak to a playwright, for fear of retribution.
  46. Michael Moore’s New Movie Was Brought to You by Goldman SachsBig surprise: ‘Capitalism: A Love Story’ was funded by capitalists.
  47. Goldman Sachs Had Another Reason to Want AIG Bailed OutThey need them to pay their rent.
  48. Wife of Recently Retired Goldman Hedge-Fund Chief Drove Her Car Into a TreeSee? This is what happens when they’re home all the time.
  49. Hank Paulson Is Too Busy to Address Rumors That Threaten His Reputation and the Reputation of His Former CompanyThe former Treasury secretary’s got a book to write, okay?
  50. Things Hank Paulson and Lloyd Blankfein Talked About on the Phone Last September(Other than colluding to save Goldman Sachs.)
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