Seven minutes of meat.
It's not real, but oh, if wishing made it so.
To the show’s credit, the winning chef was something of a surprise, but nothing controversial happened, nothing that will be discussed at the water cooler today.
It doesn’t feel like the kind of episode that’s leading into a season finale so much as something that could have run in the third or fourth week.
Padma eating out of a petri dish is something that could only occur on a show of this caliber.
“This is poignant and makes me want to throw up in my mouth.”
"Most of the chefs are lazy and decide they’re not going to cook anything."
Plus: a tip on where to find one of the best doughnuts in southern California.
"Joey laments: 'The day is not going the way I envisioned it going,' which we can only imagine was Osama bin Laden’s final thought on this earth."
"I'm pretty sure I just watched one of the Two Hot Tamales almost call me an asshole on TV."
"Aziz is an epicurean."
"This is a direct challenge — a shot across the bow of U.S.S. Kale City, the unsinkable frigate that takes on all comers."
"Traci's thinking it all sounds a little too easy, at which point Curtis assures everyone that, yes, it sounds a little too easy."
"I feel like a preteen girl defending Justin Bieber, or a balding alcoholic defending Charlie Sheen."
Plus: The salty-scallop man returns.
"It’s like all natural phenomena and all of human culture are merely instruments through which Steve Ells can more closely examine the viability of concepts."
Does a top-to-bottom revamp make this show any better?
"Never let it be said that Bobby Flay is not a man obsessed with dipping sauces."
The finale version of Restaurant Wars went a lot better than the regular kind!
This week: One contestant will be named Lord of the Pod People.