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Hamptons

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Jerry Seinfeld, American Hero

Jerry Seinfeld is not only lucky to be alive after his car accident in the Hamptons this past weekend, he is also apparently … a hero?

Conan O’Brien Reads, But Does Not Give Recipes to, ‘Good Housekeeping’

MEDIA •Yesterday the New York Post reported on Tiger Woods's new $65 million Hamptons pad. The only problem? He didn't buy the house. [Radar] • Good Housekeeping published Conan O'Brien's stew recipe in honor of Saint Patrick's Day. Except it wasn't actually his recipe. "I've never cooked anything in my life. I didn't send this to them; they completely made this up," he said, then added: "I love this magazine, I'm not mad or anything." [WWD] • After a year of bickering, Dow Jones decided it will no longer carry news from the Associated Press. [Reuters]

Amy Ruth's Taking Her Sweet Time in Brooklyn; Adour? Okay

Downtown Brooklyn: So much for a Valentine’s Day debut: Amy Ruth’s at the Fulton Mall isn’t even open yet. [Lost City] Hamptons: Restaurant Week begins March 20. Bargain meals at close to 70 participating restaurants seems like a good excuse to take advantage of any lodging bargains before warm weather sets in. [Restaurant Girl] Meatpacking District: Florent plans to give up the ghost on a high note, on Gay Pride Day at the end of June. [NYP] Midtown East: Citysearch calls Ducasse’s food at Adour "comme ci, comme ça." [Bottomless Dish/Citysearch] West Village: The Beatrice team might expand to L.A. [Down by the Hipster]

Wilmer Valderama, Marquee, Apparently Both Still Alive

Wilmer Marquee
The only thing worse than being on an e-mail list where you get spammed with invitations to Wilmer Valderama's birthday party at Marquee (aren't they both 70 years old by now?) is being on an e-mail list where you get spammed with invitations that are ALSO pleas to join a summer share in the Hamptons. "Please contact us if you'd like to do a Hamptons Share this summer!" read the chipper text of the e-mail that came with the invitation here. Wilmer Valderama? Sharing a house with people you don't know? Trashy, overcrowded nightclubs? Wow, whoever these Rachel and Adam people are, we have to hand it to them. They've done the impossible: They made us look outside and thank the heavens that it is dark and sleeting out there. Summer, and the Hamptons, can not come slow enough for us. Hamptons Holidays [Official Site]

Diddy's Spectacular Fall From Hotness

White Party
Earlier today, we mentioned to a colleague the annual Labor Day fracas that is Diddy's White Party — yes, that beloved(ish), A-list(ish) fête at the hip-hop mogul's East Hampton home, for which all guests are required to wear white. "Did he even have the party this year?" the colleague asked, suggesting to us that Diddy's status on the social circuit has indeed taken a turn for the worse.

Nello Said to Teach Artist a Thing or Two About Overcharging

Connoisseurs of bad art and worse restaurants will get a charge from a story in today’s Post about Nello Balan and his run-in with artist Jerome Lucani. There are so many levels of absurdity to this that it would take Nathaniel West to do it justice, but let’s start with the basics: Balan, who owns restaurants catering to stodgy plutocrats, allegedly agreed to front the money for Lucani to produce hideous celebrity photomontages in exchange for a 40 percent cut on sales. Lucani claims that Balan is “keeping [his] paintings hostage” and demanded a $500,000 fee plus a 50-50 split on sales. Now that’s how you do business!

Divorces, Horses, and So On

Paula Zahn's friends say she wanted to stay in the Fifth Avenue apartment she shares with soon-to-be ex-husband Richard Cohen for the sake of their kids, but he made it too difficult. Lou Dobbs's daughter Hillary won the Open Jumper Class (and $7,500) at the Hampton Classic Horse Show. (Soon-to-be-mom Kelly Klein also rode there.) Heather Mills has racked up a number of parking tickets in her Bentley convertible in East Hampton. NYU's school newspaper went out of its way to point out that people use the campus library to commit suicide and hook up on Craigslist. Larry David doesn't like fund-raisers on yachts in Martha's Vineyard. Courtney Love is blaming ex-boyfriend Steve Coogan for Owen Wilson's attempted suicide, and now Coogan is worried about his career prospects. The New York Times has a clear anti-Yankees bias, "Page Six" says.

Quarterback Sacked

Bridget Moynahan won't actually see Tom Brady and is only giving him limited access to their newborn son. Late New York Giants owner Wellington Mara's eleven kids are going through problems, both personal and business-related. Christie Brinkley didn't attend the Hampton Classic Horse Show because Peter Cook and a new girlfriend were inside. Note to male tennis players: Do not date Martina Hingis. Julia Stiles helped boyfriend Jonathan Cramer install one of his sculptures on Central Park North. Jack Nicholson once jumped out a window after Hunter S. Thompson pulled a gun out in a house. Music mogul Irv Gotti made it to day three of a $10,000 World Poker Tour event. A former Stuyvesant High School student of Frank McCourt said the Pulitzer Prize winner was not a great English teacher. James Blount hooked up with another model, this time in Malibu.

Closing the Box

Some Lower East Siders are trying to get the Box closed because it's more a nightclub and less the "cultural institution" its owners promised it would be. (And also, we presume, because it's utterly insufferable.) At the age of 50, Kelly Klein, ex of Calvin, is finally having a baby. Hillary Clinton raised $500,000 at a fund-raiser at Ted Danson's house on Martha's Vineyard. The beach is eroding in front of Tina Brown and Harry Evans's place in Quogue. John McEnroe is in talks with Larry Ellison to establish a tennis training center in Flushing Meadows. Andy Roddick had stage fright when asked to say a few words at a party in his honor at Tenjune. A bunch of guests got lost en route to Donna Karan's house in East Hampton. Tom Petty played two gigs in the Hamptons for $1.7 million. (Paul McCartney and Renée Zellweger were there.) Patrick Ewing and Alonzo Mourning looked for the entrance to La Esquina.

Tinz and Olivia Hate Each Other More Than They Hate Genocide

Tinsley Mortimer and Olivia Palermo hate each other so much they couldn't jointly host a benefit for Darfur. John Mayer took Mandy Moore to lunch (at La Esquina) and Cameron Diaz to dinner (at Indochine) on the same day. New School president Bob Kerrey, a former governor and senator from Nebraska, might move back to run Chuck Hagel's senate seat. Ivanka Trump instituted a "no midriff, no bikini bottom" rule for her October Stuff magazine cover. Former Jets QB Joe Namath is now a grandfather, though his daughter is only 16. Billy Joel thinks his Hamptons benefit concert was overpriced — and not that good. A Mr. Chow is opening in Vegas. Giants safety Will Demps is done with groupies. A Maxim writer thinks Sanjaya and Adrian Grenier are doppelgängers.

James Taylor Crowd Knows Nothing of His Work

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There was the usual phalanx of celebs at the Ross School in East Hampton Saturday for James Taylor's penultimate concert in the Hampton Social series — the Olsens, Richard Gere, Jimmy Buffett, Daryl Hannah, even Paul McCartney — but, as it turned out, they weren't all necessarily there to see Sweet Baby James. "I don't know much of his music," James Blunt admitted to us before the show started, "but I'm looking forward to it." So no favorite songs, then? "I'll have to get back to you at the end of the night," he said. Mischa Barton was equally flummoxed. "Um, I don't know," she admitted. "Everyone's been asking me. I put it on my iPod before we left, but I haven't listened." Beth Ostrosky, there with her boyfriend, Howard Stern, was one of the few who could answer the question. "'You've Got a Friend,'" she said proudly. And local gal Christie Brinkley eventually came up with an answer, too. "I sing the kids this song at night to help put them to sleep," she said. "I don't know what it's called, but it goes, 'There is a young cowboy…' Oh, 'Sweet Baby James,' that's it." Yup. —Brett Amelkin

Chris Meloni Reveals Riding Past at the Polo

Chris Meloni
Oddly enough, the VIP tent at the Mercedes-Benz Polo Challenge in the Hamptons is probably the last place you'll find anyone actually interested in horses. Usually getting all the attention are the Champagne, hors d'oeuvre, and the genetic miracle that is Christie Brinkley's face. But this Saturday, Law & Order star Chris Meloni revealed that he actually uses his glutes for something other than making us swoon. "I used to ride, when I was in L.A.," he told Daily Intel. "[My friend had] one horse that was great, another horse that, you know, had a bad attitude, and he would intentionally run me into trees or under branches that were really low and would try to knock you off." Meloni's pal eventually sold the ornery horse, only to find out that "the whole time, he was blind." Guffaw! Shoulda saved that one for Leno, Chris. Elsewhere at the Mandy Moore–hosted event, a pregnant Jill Hennessy was probably the only star to avoid the booze. "I love watching people munching on little appetizers, salted nuts," she told us. Pregnant ladies rule. —Brett Amelkin

Diddy-Diddling Denial

Kim Porter is in denial that Diddy is diddling Sienna Miller. (Also, his famous White Party is slated for September 2). Britney Spears was in a fender bender, after which she announced, "I'm a braniac!" On-again, off-again couple Marc Jacobs and Jason Preston are back on. Jeffrey Chodorow is keeping China Grill closed for a few extra days to get a new fridge and get rid of some insects. Phoenix Sun point guard Steve Nash got into a pickup soccer game at Central Park and scored two goals. The Freakanomics guys are moving their blog to the New York Times. Mort Zuckerman gets Harry Evan to help him write his weekly column in U.S. News. Chevy Chase found a $20 bill at a Hillary Clinton fund-raiser in the Hamptons. George Pataki is being considered for an ambassadorship.

Ba Ba Ba, Ba Barbaralee

Hollywood players like Ben Stiller, Toby Maguire, and Steven Spielberg can't figure out which Democrat to support for president, so they're donating to multiple ones. (Tom Hanks, Will Smith, and Jennifer Aniston, however, are firmly in Camp Obama.) Barbaralee Diamonstein-Spielvogel was passed over for appointment as executive director of New York State Council of the Arts, perhaps because she has donated money to Spitzer, who's now trying to look ethically pure. Gwen Stefani loves breast-feeding even though she's been getting bitten. Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz refused to be photographed with their KY Intimacy Kit swag bags at Lollapalooza because they were scared of Joe Simpson. Tracy Morgan wants to get his SCRAM ankle bracelet "blinged out" at Jacob the Jeweler.