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Toxic Wind Blows From Gowanus

Construction in Gowanus blows a fetid wind across the land, babies terrorize Upper East Siders, and Chelsea residents tear apart Barnes & Noble with their bare hands in our daily roundup of neighborhood news.

Alexander Hamilton Just Wouldn't Have Approved of a Northeasterly View

Broadway-Flushing: As landmarking honchos drag their feet on protecting this enclave of pretty early-1900s homes, locals wonder if it's more evidence that city pooh-bahs care more about Manhattan and Brooklyn brownstones than they do historic Queens cribs. [NYDN] Brooklyn Heights: How will the city get Brooklynites to the hard-to-get-to Brooklyn Bridge Park? It will bus them! [Brooklyn Paper] Harlem: Some folks are protesting the move of Alexander Hamilton's Colonial house from a cramped street to St. Nicholas Park because — get this — it won't be facing the same way. [Curbed]

Bushwick Life: Rat Poop on Your Pillow, Organic Milk in Your Bodega

Bushwick: The area is not so gentrified that you may not still experience the thrill of rats going through your trash or taking a dump on your bed. But at least you can get organic milk in the bodegas now. [BushwichBK] Clinton Hill: It looks like the stakeout for Spitzer's hooker bookers has moved here, with TV crews sniffing around for Tameka Lewis, a.k.a. "Rachelle." [Nervous Acid] Fort Greene: Perhaps remorseful that he demolished the area's only supermarket to make room for a massive 600-unit condo project, John Catsimatidis promised it'd have a grocery. But nearby project dwellers worry they won't be able to afford it if it's one of his Gristedes. [NYDN]

Chelsea Clearview West Finally Cedes Dominance to Chelsea Clearview

Chelsea: The School of Visual Arts has acquired the Chelsea West Cinemas on 23rd Street for use as auditoriums … and the school's acting chair, design legend Milton Glaser (who did both the "I Heart NY" logo and the original New York Magazine emblem), will redo the place inside and out. Cool! [Mediabistro via Blog Chelsea] Cobble Hill: Did some of Spitzer's ho brokers live here or in Brooklyn Heights? Either way, kinda classy hoods to be associated with this tawdriness, if you ask us. [Cobble Hill Blog] Coney Island: The city will replace huge, ugly, hazardous gaps in the boardwalk with a concrete-plastic wood-look-alike material … but, fakaktaishly, not until after the summer season. [NYDN]

The Chelsea Hotel Undergoes a Voice Change

Bedford-Stuyvesant: Someone who lives on this cute block has a thing against homeless people. Or hipsters. We can't tell which. [newyorkshitty] Chelsea: After 30 years as the voice of the Chelsea Hotel, telephone operator Amy Miller is retiring. Bet she's heard some bad verbiage in her days. [Living with Legends] Cobble Hill: Are those yellow boxes on top of this Walentas building going to be bulkheads or illegal beachy cabana things? Only time and angry neighbors will tell. [Brooklyn Paper]

The Lower East Side's Latest Sustainable Restaurant; Plus, Rayuela's New Takeaway Outlet

Clinton Hill: Don’t be fooled by Met Foods window painting claiming the supermarket has the “[l]argest fresh organic products in the area.” You’ll be “hard-pressed to find any (just the usual half-rotten produce they usually carry). It’s clearly a reaction to the threat of all the discerning customers shopping at Green Planet.” [Clinton Hill Blog] Greenwich Village: The Starbucks on 8th Street between Fifth and University is closing and has posted in its window a bizarre, farewell letter of sorts, which begins, "This thing we have together, it’s bigger than this place." And in a weird way, the epistle is spot-on. [Gothamist] Harlem: Where can a gal just get a beer and a burger in this gentrifying area? [Uptown Flavor] Lower East Side: Rayuela is expanding with a Latin takeout spot set to open at the end of March in the former LoSide space. [Eater] Lee Gross’s organic eatery Broadway East opens March 7, and like this week’s ecofriendly thirst quenchers, "filters and carbonates its own water." [Strong Buzz] Freemans will totally let you order artichoke dip before you place your entrée order; they changed their policy two years ago after Bruni’s "Satisfactory" review. [Diner’s Journal/NYT]

The ‘Crazy Super’ Has a Dog Named Pretty Girl

Bay Ridge: Richard Martin, the "crazy super" who posts homicidally threatening signs about trash disposal, says of his tenants "They're Arab; they don't give a f*ck"; has a cute Pekinese named Pretty Girl; and worships Jeanine Pirro. Feast on his cranky, strangely lovable weirdness. [NYP] Chelsea: Facing lawsuits from folks who say it's too loud and polluting to be there, the 30th St. pier heliport floats a plan to move itself onto two barges offshore. And Curbed is right... this homespun sketch of the plan indeed features the quaintest, gentlest West Side Highway we've ever seen. [Villager via Curbed] Ditmas Park: Folks in these gentrifying, pretty parts know that the hatred currently directed at Park Slope will soon be visited upon them. And they're probably right. [Ditmas Park Blog]

Flatbush to Rise?

Bedford-Stuyvesant: Guess which dark lord lives in this sleekly hideous black fortress? It's your dad, Luke Skywalker! [Newyorkshitty] East Village: Big-time developer Ben Shaoul thinks the East Village will always be "gritty and inexpensive and arty," even though he's renting $7,500 marble-bedecked apartments here. [NYO] Flatbush: Look for some major redevelopment on shabby Flatbush Avenue, where the Pintchik family, long the owners of the local hardware store, own about $100 million in property and are readying to class it up to the level of Park Slope or Cobble Hill. [NYS]

Ivy League Grad Will Rub Your Shoulders, Write Your Biography

Astoria: Councilman Vallone, if you thought you could just put that preconstructed, toxin-belching smokestack there on 37th Street and nobody would notice, you were sadly mistaken. Oh, and "you're slowly turning the area into a ghetto," too, by the way. [Queens Crap] Carroll Gardens: If you give this "Ivy-educated" author, psychologist, educator, and editor a free place to live, he (she?) will be your shrink and write your memoir. Yeah, we've heard that one before. [Pardon Me for Asking] Harlem: They're standing by original funk-soul brother Bill Clinton up here, especially with that Obama being "a nice white middle-class guy." Ouch! [NYT]

Battery Pier: A Beautiful Disaster?

Battery Park: Are we weird because all the decrepit buildings the city wants to renovate — like this pier with a Victorian clock tower — we think are beautiful just as they are? Yeah, we're probably weird. [NYT via Curbed] Greenpoint: It was difficult to visit friends yesterday at this crazy-ass apartment because "the buzzards" weren't working. Well, it was a holiday, after all. [Newyorkshitty] Harlem: The Rev. Al Sharpton said yesterday that if MLK were to walk through Harlem today, he might not like what he saw. You mean his dream didn't include "the gentrification people"? [NYS]

Beware the Castle Astoria

Astoria: People who live in this building get their very own Rapunzel balcony in their very own profoundly ugly castle. Call this style Middle Ages middlebrow. [OuterB via Curbed] Bushwick: This cancer survivor who runs the music joint Goodbye Blue Monday is a cool dude. But when he says you could toss a cat in any direction around here and hit a building owned by his landlord, we hope he doesn't mean that cute kitty he's holding in the photo. [amNY] Harlem: Guess which Manhattan neighborhood didn't make it onto this (clever but not quite accurate, given gentrification) "White Folks' Map of the NYC Subway System"? [Gothamist]

A Chabad Blogs

Astoria: Hm, if we get on the list now, can we make it into this de-gorgeous affordable housing complex for the elder set by the time we're 65? If our income stays where it is now, we know we'll qualify. [OuterB] Crown Heights: The Chabad Orthodox sect here has a totally pimped-out ride memorializing the late, great Rebbe Schneerson. And did you know they also have their own blog? They're so now! [Curbed] Harlem: At P.S. 161 on Convent Ave., the teachers park on the sidewalks! Do they think they can get away with this just because they make subsistence wages? We think not. [Streetsblog]

Dancer Boy Does Greenpoint

Carroll Gardens: Hey, have you heard the one about the yacht that got stuck trying to take a left turn onto Second Place from Smith Street? [Gowanus Lounge] East Village: Wow, look at that ... they actually put two bike lanes on Second Avenue to make it easier for bikers to cross Houston without incurring death from left-turning traffic. [Streetsblog] Greenpoint: Upper East Side office girls may have Chippendales strippers for their birthday and bachelorette parties. But the lucky ladies of Greenpoint have ... Dancer Boy! [Newyorkshitty]

Peter Hoffman Served a Rubber Band to His Mentor; Bloomberg to the Veggie Rescue in Harlem

Astoria: La Flor de Puebla on Astoria Boulevard between Steinway and 38th Street makes a mean carnitas taco. [Joey in Astoria] East Village: Peter Hoffman of Back Forty (and Savoy) reveals to Frank Bruni that he "once served a watercress salad to Richard Olney, my mentor and culinary hero, only to discover upon going to his table to see how he liked it that we had also served him a rubber band." [Diner's Journal/NYT] Harlem: Only 3 percent of bodegas in the nabe carry leafy green vegetables, so Mayor Bloomberg's coming to the rescue. No wonder Mizrahi loves him. [NYS via Uptown Flavor] Park Slope: The end of Donuts Coffee Shop on Fifth Avenue is near; Associated Supermarket is about to swallow up the landmark diner. [The Gowanus Lounge] West Village: It's a Q&A kind of day: Centro Vinoteca and newly anointed Gusto chef Anne Burrell says her trademark "cowgirl skirts are a good luck charm when we do Iron Chef … I figure if all the old ladies in Italy wear dresses in the kitchen, why can't I wear a skirt in NYC?" Though she may not have seen our kitchen fashions for the preening chef. [Restaurant Girl] Gusto is also hosting a Feast of the Seven Fishes on Christmas Eve, which includes this recipe for zuppa di pesce. [Eat for Victory/VV]

Trust Carroll Gardens, for the Rest of Your Life

Carroll Gardens: Locals are pissed off that Carroll Park is so understaffed that nobody's around to haul away old mattresses. Hey, locals: You could do it. Either that or keep on looking at old mattresses in your park. [Gowanus Lounge] Greenpoint: Santa was spotted here in a butcher's apron, smoking a cigarette, with his wife nearby, waiting for kielbasa (not Santa's, you perv!). Also, people are fornicating in the shadow of the onion-domed sewage-treatment plant. (In this weather!?) [Newyorkshitty] Harlem: A real-estate investor just broke the record for a property in the hood by paying $6.6 mil condo at Central Park North. But they may soon be topped by a triplex in the same building, on the block for $8.5 mil, that Esquire just named the "Ultimate Bachelor Pad." [Luxist via Uptown Flavor]