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Porta-Café Touching Down in Columbus Circle; La Marmite Back in Harlem

Astoria: Sorriso’s Italian Salumeriaa at 44-16 30th Avenue makes a serious Rosino Panino. “It may look like chicken, but those thick white slabs in the middle of the sandwich are actually house-made slices of fresh mozzarella (made three times a day) piled atop a generous helping of prosciutto cotto.” [Serious Eats] Chelsea: P.S. 11’s fall festival this Saturday from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. features a ten-piece salsa band, free food, and a bake sale, plus it’s open to the public. [Blog Chelsea] East Village: Back Forty from Savoy chef Peter Hoffman is opening October 17. [Grub Street] Harlem: La Marmite restaurant has finally opened in its new location. [Uptown Flavor] Lower East Side: Now’s your chance to be the next Sam Mason: Thor is looking for its own rock-star pastry chef. [Eat for Victory/VV] Tribeca: The new home for Steak Frites will be the same space that was temporarily the doomed Charolais. [Eater] Upper West Side: From November 28 to December 29, Illy coffee will maintain a “Push Button House” in the Time Warner Center; the installation is basically a large shipping crate that opens to reveal a full-service café that premiered at the 52nd Venice Biennale. [NotCot]

Madman Runs Amok With BBQ Knives; Traci Des Jardins Overboard on ‘Next Iron Chef’

A madman grabbed knives from the Texas Smokehouse Barbecue and started slashing people in Murray Hill until he was gunned down. [NYP] Traci Des Jardins is the first one overboard at The Next Iron Chef. [Serious Eats] A lot of good restaurants have failed health inspections, leading to: “You'll pay $90 for a prix-fixe meal complete with foie gras and lobster at celebrity chef David Bouley's namesake restaurant — just watch out for eight-legged appetizers.” [NYP]

Mermaid Inn UWS to Open Late Fall; Garifunan Cuisine Has Arrived … in the Bronx

Chelsea: Candy Camp confectionary classes for kids start Saturday at Sapa. [Cakehead] Clinton Hill: A confused source says the former Bodegas space will become Clinton Hill Bistro, but that’s what Bodegas had painted on its windows when it was open. [Clinton Hill Blog] Harlem: Doug E. Fresh talks chicken and waffles and the late-night feel of his second restaurant: "Hot Pot, the Caribbean spot I’m opening in December … Harlem’s always been known for its late-night style." [Uptown Flavor] Long Island City: Big Easy landmark Jacques-Imo’s New York branch has lost its uptown lease and will take refuge in Queens. [Joey in Astoria via Eater] South Bronx: If you’ve been craving Garifunan food (the cuisine of “Coastal Caribbeans of African and Native American descent”), head to newly opened and possibly only-one-of-its-kind Garifuna Star at 640 Prospect Avenue for “curry-esque soup and a fufu-esque plantain dish.” [Eat for Victory/VV] Upper West Side: Danny Abrams plans to open his second Mermaid Inn by the end of the fall. [Eater]

Don't Worry, There Will Still Be Four Starbucks at Astor Place

Astor Place: If ever a Starbucks were to be missed, it might be this big one, where the world meets up. But it's not closing … they're just fixing the sign. And yet, the longtime newsstand here will be replaced with a shiny glass box. [Vanishing New York] Bedford-Stuyvesant: Cops are — wisely — advising parents not to let their kids play with a toy 9 mm that looks uncannily realistic. [Bed-Stuy Blog] Ditmas Park: A bit less than $800,000 will get you this picture-postcard of domestic bliss: cute white house, front yard, white picket fence … and roaring street-level subway just ten feet away! [Ditmas Park Blog] Harlem: Paging Tracy James, paging Tracy James. (That's Diana Ross's designer turned supermodel character in Mahogany, FYI.) Please report to the Apollo this Sunday for the 50th annual Ebony fashion fair… [Uptown Flavor] Long Island City: The city thinks this burgeoning condo-tower haven is "poor" and "underdeveloped" enough to make it worth wooing colleges to move here. [NYS via Queens Crap] Sheepshead Bay: Um, not to sound peevish, but would someone please dredge the entrance to the bay before it gets any narrower? Pretty soon a clam roll won't be able to sail through here. [Gerritsen Beach] Williamsburg: Advertising for the Edge condo takes a page from the Basic Instinct flash-that-muff playbook. And how bold to pair sex and Asian men. [Copyranter via Curbed]

The Flowerbox Is Revealed

Alphabet City: The new Flowerbox building near Avenue D is real, and it's spectacular. [Curbed] Brooklyn Heights: Tomorrow's Cranberry Street Festival will not only feature the usual pet parade, but also a belly dancer! [Brooklyn Heights Blog] Dumbo: After filling up with yuppies fleeing Manhattan, Dumbo takes the final step into suburbia: It's starting a Neighborhood Watch. [DumboNYC] Greenpoint: Miss Heather finally captures on film the neighborhood's elusive Dog Who Wears Sunglasses And A Seatbelt [Newyorkshitty] Harlem: The Randolph Houses are getting completely renovated by the city. Who says Bloomberg is a bad landlord? [Uptown Flavor]

Hostess Fantasies May Come True in the EV; Pork and Funnel Cakes Find Each Other in Boerum Hill

Boerum Hill: Sunday’s Atlantic Antic Street Festival = live music + copious gut busters ranging from baklava and funnel cake to pulled pork and roasted corn. [Hell’s Half Acre] East Village: The Bourgeois Pig plans to move to a new location next week, which means the original space is that much closer to becoming a New World wine-and-beer bar serving homemade versions of Hostess snacks! [Imbible] Harlem: One of uptown’s favorite food carts, Super Tacos on 96th and Broadway, is a finalist at the Vendy Awards this Saturday. [Uptown Flavor] Midtown East: Nikki Beach restaurant and nightclub wants to lure you back in the morning with a weekend buffet brunch. [Grub Street] Soho: Joe on Greene Street near Prince introduces a Fall program of coffee-related classes including "Coffee & The Environment"; "How to Cup: Single Origin Coffee"; and "How to Cup: Exploring Roasteries" that will begin in October. [Grub Street] Upper West Side: Just the right bargain to make us think about how much mark-up we’ve been getting charged for wine: Order the $35 prix fixe on Sundays at Compass restaurant and any bottle you order is 50 percent off. [Grub Street]

Primehouse Opening in Flatiron; Trabocchi Siphoned Former Staff to Soho

Carroll Gardens: New wine bar Black Mountain Wine House on Union Street is filled to the brim with lovely sipping ladies. [Eat for Victory/VV] Flatiron: Diddy has closed Justin’s because it’s not big enough. [NYP] Stephen Hanson’s steakhouse, Primehouse, opens Monday. [Zagat] Harlem: Fall registration is open for free proper-dining lessons at “New York City’s only tuition-free etiquette school for children,” the Development and Finishing Institute. [Uptown Flavor] Soho: New Fiamma chef Fabio Trabocchi “brought with him 12 members of the staff of Maestro, in McLean, Va., his previous employer" in order to ease his New York transition. [NYT] Upper East Side: David Burke's Hudson Valley Foie Gras ‘PB&J’ Tourchon is pushing it. [NYO] Williamsburg: The best way to be sure your beef is prime is to eat at a top steakhouse, and lucky for you, according to “Amy Rubenstein, whose family owns Peter Luger, the shortage is over.” [NYP]

Cheapest Plaza Room: $775 a Night

Bedford-Stuyvesant: Please don't let something tacky occupy this empty storefront and set back this nicely gentrifying block! (cries a blogger). I mean, is that really wood-paneling? [Bed-Stuy Blog] Glendale: Furious folks in this Queens burg, which provided the exterior of Archie Bunker's TV house, say that too many buses passing through caused a water main to break, cutting off the agua supply. [NYDN] Harlem: The W hotel-condo planned for Frederick Douglass Boulevard looks like a Lego's miscarriage on acid. [Harlem Fur] Midtown: The soon-to-be-100-years-old Plaza Hotel is booking rezzies after January 1 starting at $775 a night. Maybe if you hawk all your Heloise first-editions on eBay… [Newyorkology] Park Slope: Who is torching all the cars around here? That's wicked mean. [Brownstoner] West Village: This outspoken young Jewish gay is disgusted that Marc Jacobs — another outspoken young Jewish gay — is taking over his hood. [West Village Kid]

Social Unrest on G Platform

Greenpoint: Long waits for the G train are breeding angry calls for socialized medicine. Plus, who impaled these poor tomatoes? [Newyorkshitty] Downtown Brooklyn: A bunch of Morgan Stanley employees were caught on camera cornholing in Cadman Plaza Park yesterday. [McBrooklyn] Dumbo: Yep, Dave Walentas — and a few other big local developers — went down in the dunk tank last night at a fund-raiser to preserve the hood's brick streets. [Brownstoner] Harlem: Columbia has bought a site to build new homes for people its expansion will displace, but the folks in question weren't consulted beforehand. [Columbia Spectator] Prospect Heights: The hood may get landmark status, which some locals hope will protect against the ripple effects of the massive ongoing Atlantic Yards development. [Atlantic Yards Report] Washington Heights: Police broke up a coke ring run out of a deli. God, imagine snorting blow with a slice of rolled-up salami… [NYS] Williamsburg: The city wants to kick out La Marqueta's food vendors to make room for affordable housing, but locals doubt they'll benefit from the new units. [amNY]

Hipsters and Bushwick and Bedbugs, Oh My!

Bushwick: Even hipster buildings get bedbugs. [Curbed] Greenpoint: A new park opens at month's end right alongside terrifically toxic Newtown Creek. [Newyorkshitty] Harlem: There's finally a veterinary clinic here. Word! Woof! Meow! [Harlem Fur] Long Island City: Dwellers in the new Arris condos who are disappointed by shoddy construction and a desolate neighborhood may be relieved to know there's one area amenity they needn't do without — hookers. [Queens Crap] Park Slope: It's sad that all of the neurotic parenting here has very likely led to children who are Satanic graffiti artists. [Gowanus Lounge] Soho: Protesters plan to crash this Wednesday's launch party for the Trump SoHo "condo-hotel." [Blog Chelsea] Upper West Side: A man in Rollerblades climbed to the top of the giant globe outside Trump International yesterday, threw out flyers for a rock concert, and ate an orange. [Gothamist]

Women Chefs Congregate in Chelsea; Sam Mason Has Fans on the LES

Chelsea: 25 women chefs including Anita Lo and Del Posto pastry chef Nicole Kaplan will cook at a cancer benefit at Pier 60 on Monday. [Restaurant Girl] Related: Women Chefs Come Out in Force For Benefit Flatiron: Hill Country hosts 4-Foodies on September 18 for the online group’s second tasting event. [4-Foodies] Harlem: Mexican street vendors will prepare the fare at Restaurante La Hacienda on September 19 for a Tamale and Tequila Tasting organized by the non-profit group Esperanza del Barrio. [Uptown Flavor] Lower East Side: Tailor gets high marks from opening-night diners who may not have understood the menu, but appreciated the results. [Eat for Victory/VV] Midtown West: A food cart on 46th Street at Sixth Avenue is serving up special Ramadan “break-the-fast” boxes. [Midtown Lunch] Tribeca: Cognac week at Brandy Library means free tastings every night from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. through Saturday.

Trader Joe's Wants You … to Vaseline Your Teeth

Bay Ridge: They're saying that Representative. Fossella hasn't come through on promises to help save a beautiful Methodist church from being razed for condo development. [Queens Crap] Coney Island: We are increasingly intrigued by Rose, the compellingly coiffed lady who delivers terse morning weather reports on this blog from a tower high atop Coney. Let's hear more about Rose! [OTBKB] Dumbo: Looks like yuppies and Farragut Houses residents alike will be rubbing shoulders over toothpaste and T.P. at the "New Pharmacy Coming Soon!" to Gold Street. [Brownstoner] Forest Hills: If you're an ambitious, adventurous, values- and people-oriented foodie who smiles easily, then the new Trader Joe's here wants you! [Forest Hills 72] Harlem: With HIV infections in the city's young gay men up a third since 2001, the biggest jump in that group is here and East Harlem. Come on, brothas and papis — and Chelsea boys too, for that matter — rock the cock sock! [NYS] Long Island City: Sounds like there's an itty-bitty park planned for that waterfront lot at the end of Vernon Boulevard. Nice. [LICNYC] Melrose: Who's going to plunk down $25 mil to buy the fabulously rococo, former Bronx County Courthouse? And what'll they use it for? [Curbed]

Trying to Get to Know Your East Village Neighbors? Don't.

Carroll Gardens: Fussy organic types will be delighted to hear that a McDonald's may be coming to Court Street. Meanwhile, the Blessed Mother visited controversial development site 360 Smith Street. [Curbed and Gowanus Lounge] Greenpoint: They don't appreciate being serenaded beneath their windows with a guitar at 1 a.m. around here. Funny, that. [11222] East Village: It's sweet when people move here from Virginia and invite their neighbors in for cookies. They'll learn. [East Village Idiot] Harlem: Less-than-accurate tour-bus guides are dissing the hood right into their megaphones … even while they plug the H&M there. [NYP] Prospect Heights: Who is scamming area yard-salers by asking them to break his fake $20 bills? And just when this nabe was getting hot. Tsk, tsk. [DailyHeights] Roosevelt Island: The winged progeny of Central Park West celebuhawk Pale Male may be roosting here. Talk about generational downward mobility. [Roosevelt Islander]

Roosevelt Islanders Resent Their Frothy Moat

BoCoCa: The skateboarders terrorizing this Boerum Hill/Cobble Hill/Carroll Gardens "compound" neighborhood are "light-skinned and Asian." Sound the alarm gong! [Brooklynian] Chelsea: The fact that Ethan Hawke has stepped up against the de-corporatization of the Chelsea Hotel does not keep denizens there from mocking his "experimental" film Chelsea Walls. [Living with Legends] Dumbo: Sounds like a few hard-core panhandlers continue to thwart the hood's evolution toward loftopia. Aw. [DumboNYC] Gowanus: The sleek new Hotel Le Bleu's opening is delayed again, now till October 1. Could they be cowed by their own nightly rates of up to $400 (for Gowanus)? [Brownstoner] Harlem: Keith Haring's 1986 "Crack Is Wack" mural in Harlem River Park is getting a makeover. You know what? We miss Keith Haring. [About.com] Roosevelt Island: The locals are griping that they have no way of gaining access to the water, even though they're surrounded by it — being on an island and all. [Roosevelt Islander] Williamsburg: Hipsters are getting mugged around here — and we don't mean in East Williamsburg (né Bushwick), we mean in the expensive, trendy part! [Brooklyn Paper]

Red Hook Vendors Safe for Season; Fro-Yo Knockoff Welcomed in Jackson Heights

Astoria: Does Joey take a cut of Sicilian slice sales, or is Rose & Joe’s really worth a special trip? Let us know what you think of their square pies at grubstreet@nymag.com. [Joey in Astoria] Chelsea: Toast Timbo at a Pier 60 fund-raiser tomorrow night offering copious amounts of food and drink in memory of a young victim of Traumatic Brain Injury. [Timbo Fund] Dumbo: Blanc & Rouge pits Bordeaux against Burgundy in tasting on September 26. [Dumbo NYC] Greenwich Village: BBQ on University closed without warning last night, but there is hope its greasy treats and fishbowls of fluorescent libations will return to another Eighth Street space. [Eater] Harlem: There’s interest in pinpointing what’s lacking for restaurants in the nabe. [Uptown Flavor] Jackson Heights: The next shameless knockoff to touch down in Queens: Yogurberry. [Eat for Victory/VV] Red Hook: The Parks Department grants ball-field vendors extended permits letting them finish the season ending October 21. And maybe longer; Senator Schumer says that he “looks forward to eating goat tacos, ceviche and spicy corn on the cob at the ball fields for years to come.” [City Room/NYT] West Village: Centro Vinoteca has a full new lunch menu highlighted by polpette burgers and "cubano toscano" sandwiches.

Flappers Seen at Harlem's Live-Poultry Market

East Village: Between securing a liquor license and finishing construction on what will be Sakaya sake store, the owners are blogging. [Down by the Hipster] Flatiron: A BBQ tasting at Hill Country is the next stop for 4-Foodies; the event includes meeting the chefs and leaving with swag. [4-Foodies] Harlem: “A few seemed comatose, their heads lolling, but most were lively” at La Granja live-poultry market on Amsterdam Avenue at 126th Street. The roasted results are so much better than supermarket chickens. [NYS] Lower East Side: Months of Craigslist ads must have done some good, Tailor has scored Room 4 Dessert veteran Pam Yung as the fifth member of its kitchen team. [NYS] Meatpacking District: Paradou’s next dirty bingo night is September 18: kinky prizes furnished by Kiki De Montparnasse. Midtown East: Condolences to those who like a good frisking before lunch, the afternoon buffet in the U.N. Delegates Dining Room will be closed to the public from September 25 – October 5 while the General Assembly convenes. [NewYorkology]

Brooklyn Raccoons Fighting Back at Last

Bedford-Stuyvesant: Property prices are coming down here. Is the checkered hood the first to feel the mighty real-estate market tremble? [Brownstoner] Chelsea: As the Chelsea Hotel faces possible big changes, denizens last week went through the trash in front of the hotel to salvage art books featuring, uh, the hotel. How poignantly meta-something is that? [Living with Legends] Dumbo: What's more exciting around here this week: Film-shoot sightings of that adorable Cameron and Ashton or news that Vinegar Hill will get its very own mom-and-pop pharmacy? You decide. [DumboNYC] Fort Greene: The city wants to use eminent domain to claim a liquor store turned just-finished arts venue as space for a dance company and new housing units. [Gothamist via Brooklyn Paper] Greenpoint: Edits on subway ads here for Tim Gunn's new fashion makeover show indicate that locals would like it to feature more fried-chicken-eating chicks with dicks. [Newyorkshitty] Harlem: Columbia upperclasspeople want the newbies to know that Harlem is not that dangerous and worth checking out — even if, yes, 125th Street is kinda trashy. [Columbia Spectator] Park Slope: The park's geese, ducks, and raccoons are getting aggressive and biting residents. Maybe they're just stressed from trying to get their broods into the hood's top-ranked animal schools. [Gowanus Lounge]

Buttoned-Up Gowanus? Now That's a Theoretical Rendering.

Bushwick: Hoo-boy. We're worried that this very outspoken gentrifying gay blogger — "The Ghetto Gauntlet"? "Shitbag bodegas"? — is cruising for a serious, Bushwick-style bruising. [Bushwick] Gowanus: Only more shocking than this rendering of a massive glass tower planned for Third Avenue and 6th Street is its imagining that, in the near future, people in this skanky/hip hood will be wearing suits and ties. [Gowanus Lounge] Harlem: A very angry-sounding Katrina two-year-anniversary rally is planned for 125th Street this afternoon. [Uptown Flavor] Meatpacking District: How could we have missed that the spike-heeled Carrie Bradtrons who've overrun the meatpacking district have their very own blogger? (And we love that she thinks area designer Thom Browne might be straight. Come on, girl. The guy wears short shorts.) [Stilettos on Cobblestones] Prospect Heights: In a nice match, newcomers here sound about as unpretentiously boring and nondescript as the neighborhood itself. [Daily Heights] Tribeca: Area landlords are saving on exterminator dollars by recommending that their tenants let loose "Gecos" [sic] on insect invaders. As in the salamander-type creature that's the car-insurance mascot. Yes, it's come to that. [Curbed] Willets Point: Did the city encourage blight in the decrepit Iron Triangle area of the Bronx in order to evoke eminent domain and gentrify it? One columnist thinks so. [NYO via OuterB]

Prune Alum Doesn't Fall Far From the East Village Tree

Clinton Hill: The construction workers who opened Il Torchio have created an intimate space serving elegantly constructed Italian tapas but can’t resist sporting baseball caps and — beer in hand — approaching customers to say what’s up. [Clinton Hill Blog] East Village: Prune alum Matt Hamilton will run the kitchen at Belcourt when it opens next month. [NYS] Harlem: Dinosaur Bar-B-Que offers up a Labor Day-weekend recipe: really salty potatoes (yes, that’s 2:1 spuds to salt). [NYS] Midtown West: The London Times picks the Burger Joint in the Parker Meridian as the best burger in New York. [A Hamburger Today] North Fork: A foodie farm tour featuring tastings and cooking demonstrations on September 9 will make a stop at Garden of Eve, a supplier to Flatbush Farm. [Brooklyn Based] West Village: Anita Lo always has a vegetarian entrée available at Annisa in addition to the one listed on the menu. [Restaurant Girl]

Rampant Fowl Misidentification in Park Slope

Astoria: Residents have begun leaving threatening signs around for people who don't clean up their dog doo. What's next? Threatening 311 calls? [Joey in Astoria] Brooklyn: A hotel is set to go up in place of stores that are still there and have not yet been sold to developers. That's always good. [Brownstoner] Columbia Street Waterfront: Things aren't picking up around here the way people anticipated, and they don't even have streetlights! [NYT] Harlem: The City Opera will play at the Apollo. They already have a stump for singers to lean on — smart move! [NYS] Park Slope: Many have reported seeing feral chickens in the hood — but looking at a recent picture on Curbed, we have our own take: They're pheasants. No joke. [Curbed] Staten Island: A "tot" fell out of a second-story window on Tompkins Street. Since it was of the human, not tater, variety, there was much concern — but she's okay! [Staten Island Advance]