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Cheapest Plaza Room: $775 a Night

Bedford-Stuyvesant: Please don't let something tacky occupy this empty storefront and set back this nicely gentrifying block! (cries a blogger). I mean, is that really wood-paneling? [Bed-Stuy Blog] Glendale: Furious folks in this Queens burg, which provided the exterior of Archie Bunker's TV house, say that too many buses passing through caused a water main to break, cutting off the agua supply. [NYDN] Harlem: The W hotel-condo planned for Frederick Douglass Boulevard looks like a Lego's miscarriage on acid. [Harlem Fur] Midtown: The soon-to-be-100-years-old Plaza Hotel is booking rezzies after January 1 starting at $775 a night. Maybe if you hawk all your Heloise first-editions on eBay… [Newyorkology] Park Slope: Who is torching all the cars around here? That's wicked mean. [Brownstoner] West Village: This outspoken young Jewish gay is disgusted that Marc Jacobs — another outspoken young Jewish gay — is taking over his hood. [West Village Kid]

Social Unrest on G Platform

Greenpoint: Long waits for the G train are breeding angry calls for socialized medicine. Plus, who impaled these poor tomatoes? [Newyorkshitty] Downtown Brooklyn: A bunch of Morgan Stanley employees were caught on camera cornholing in Cadman Plaza Park yesterday. [McBrooklyn] Dumbo: Yep, Dave Walentas — and a few other big local developers — went down in the dunk tank last night at a fund-raiser to preserve the hood's brick streets. [Brownstoner] Harlem: Columbia has bought a site to build new homes for people its expansion will displace, but the folks in question weren't consulted beforehand. [Columbia Spectator] Prospect Heights: The hood may get landmark status, which some locals hope will protect against the ripple effects of the massive ongoing Atlantic Yards development. [Atlantic Yards Report] Washington Heights: Police broke up a coke ring run out of a deli. God, imagine snorting blow with a slice of rolled-up salami… [NYS] Williamsburg: The city wants to kick out La Marqueta's food vendors to make room for affordable housing, but locals doubt they'll benefit from the new units. [amNY]

Hipsters and Bushwick and Bedbugs, Oh My!

Bushwick: Even hipster buildings get bedbugs. [Curbed] Greenpoint: A new park opens at month's end right alongside terrifically toxic Newtown Creek. [Newyorkshitty] Harlem: There's finally a veterinary clinic here. Word! Woof! Meow! [Harlem Fur] Long Island City: Dwellers in the new Arris condos who are disappointed by shoddy construction and a desolate neighborhood may be relieved to know there's one area amenity they needn't do without — hookers. [Queens Crap] Park Slope: It's sad that all of the neurotic parenting here has very likely led to children who are Satanic graffiti artists. [Gowanus Lounge] Soho: Protesters plan to crash this Wednesday's launch party for the Trump SoHo "condo-hotel." [Blog Chelsea] Upper West Side: A man in Rollerblades climbed to the top of the giant globe outside Trump International yesterday, threw out flyers for a rock concert, and ate an orange. [Gothamist]

Women Chefs Congregate in Chelsea; Sam Mason Has Fans on the LES

Chelsea: 25 women chefs including Anita Lo and Del Posto pastry chef Nicole Kaplan will cook at a cancer benefit at Pier 60 on Monday. [Restaurant Girl] Related: Women Chefs Come Out in Force For Benefit Flatiron: Hill Country hosts 4-Foodies on September 18 for the online group’s second tasting event. [4-Foodies] Harlem: Mexican street vendors will prepare the fare at Restaurante La Hacienda on September 19 for a Tamale and Tequila Tasting organized by the non-profit group Esperanza del Barrio. [Uptown Flavor] Lower East Side: Tailor gets high marks from opening-night diners who may not have understood the menu, but appreciated the results. [Eat for Victory/VV] Midtown West: A food cart on 46th Street at Sixth Avenue is serving up special Ramadan “break-the-fast” boxes. [Midtown Lunch] Tribeca: Cognac week at Brandy Library means free tastings every night from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. through Saturday.

Trader Joe's Wants You … to Vaseline Your Teeth

Bay Ridge: They're saying that Representative. Fossella hasn't come through on promises to help save a beautiful Methodist church from being razed for condo development. [Queens Crap] Coney Island: We are increasingly intrigued by Rose, the compellingly coiffed lady who delivers terse morning weather reports on this blog from a tower high atop Coney. Let's hear more about Rose! [OTBKB] Dumbo: Looks like yuppies and Farragut Houses residents alike will be rubbing shoulders over toothpaste and T.P. at the "New Pharmacy Coming Soon!" to Gold Street. [Brownstoner] Forest Hills: If you're an ambitious, adventurous, values- and people-oriented foodie who smiles easily, then the new Trader Joe's here wants you! [Forest Hills 72] Harlem: With HIV infections in the city's young gay men up a third since 2001, the biggest jump in that group is here and East Harlem. Come on, brothas and papis — and Chelsea boys too, for that matter — rock the cock sock! [NYS] Long Island City: Sounds like there's an itty-bitty park planned for that waterfront lot at the end of Vernon Boulevard. Nice. [LICNYC] Melrose: Who's going to plunk down $25 mil to buy the fabulously rococo, former Bronx County Courthouse? And what'll they use it for? [Curbed]

Trying to Get to Know Your East Village Neighbors? Don't.

Carroll Gardens: Fussy organic types will be delighted to hear that a McDonald's may be coming to Court Street. Meanwhile, the Blessed Mother visited controversial development site 360 Smith Street. [Curbed and Gowanus Lounge] Greenpoint: They don't appreciate being serenaded beneath their windows with a guitar at 1 a.m. around here. Funny, that. [11222] East Village: It's sweet when people move here from Virginia and invite their neighbors in for cookies. They'll learn. [East Village Idiot] Harlem: Less-than-accurate tour-bus guides are dissing the hood right into their megaphones … even while they plug the H&M there. [NYP] Prospect Heights: Who is scamming area yard-salers by asking them to break his fake $20 bills? And just when this nabe was getting hot. Tsk, tsk. [DailyHeights] Roosevelt Island: The winged progeny of Central Park West celebuhawk Pale Male may be roosting here. Talk about generational downward mobility. [Roosevelt Islander]

Roosevelt Islanders Resent Their Frothy Moat

BoCoCa: The skateboarders terrorizing this Boerum Hill/Cobble Hill/Carroll Gardens "compound" neighborhood are "light-skinned and Asian." Sound the alarm gong! [Brooklynian] Chelsea: The fact that Ethan Hawke has stepped up against the de-corporatization of the Chelsea Hotel does not keep denizens there from mocking his "experimental" film Chelsea Walls. [Living with Legends] Dumbo: Sounds like a few hard-core panhandlers continue to thwart the hood's evolution toward loftopia. Aw. [DumboNYC] Gowanus: The sleek new Hotel Le Bleu's opening is delayed again, now till October 1. Could they be cowed by their own nightly rates of up to $400 (for Gowanus)? [Brownstoner] Harlem: Keith Haring's 1986 "Crack Is Wack" mural in Harlem River Park is getting a makeover. You know what? We miss Keith Haring. [About.com] Roosevelt Island: The locals are griping that they have no way of gaining access to the water, even though they're surrounded by it — being on an island and all. [Roosevelt Islander] Williamsburg: Hipsters are getting mugged around here — and we don't mean in East Williamsburg (né Bushwick), we mean in the expensive, trendy part! [Brooklyn Paper]

Red Hook Vendors Safe for Season; Fro-Yo Knockoff Welcomed in Jackson Heights

Astoria: Does Joey take a cut of Sicilian slice sales, or is Rose & Joe’s really worth a special trip? Let us know what you think of their square pies at grubstreet@nymag.com. [Joey in Astoria] Chelsea: Toast Timbo at a Pier 60 fund-raiser tomorrow night offering copious amounts of food and drink in memory of a young victim of Traumatic Brain Injury. [Timbo Fund] Dumbo: Blanc & Rouge pits Bordeaux against Burgundy in tasting on September 26. [Dumbo NYC] Greenwich Village: BBQ on University closed without warning last night, but there is hope its greasy treats and fishbowls of fluorescent libations will return to another Eighth Street space. [Eater] Harlem: There’s interest in pinpointing what’s lacking for restaurants in the nabe. [Uptown Flavor] Jackson Heights: The next shameless knockoff to touch down in Queens: Yogurberry. [Eat for Victory/VV] Red Hook: The Parks Department grants ball-field vendors extended permits letting them finish the season ending October 21. And maybe longer; Senator Schumer says that he “looks forward to eating goat tacos, ceviche and spicy corn on the cob at the ball fields for years to come.” [City Room/NYT] West Village: Centro Vinoteca has a full new lunch menu highlighted by polpette burgers and "cubano toscano" sandwiches.

Flappers Seen at Harlem's Live-Poultry Market

East Village: Between securing a liquor license and finishing construction on what will be Sakaya sake store, the owners are blogging. [Down by the Hipster] Flatiron: A BBQ tasting at Hill Country is the next stop for 4-Foodies; the event includes meeting the chefs and leaving with swag. [4-Foodies] Harlem: “A few seemed comatose, their heads lolling, but most were lively” at La Granja live-poultry market on Amsterdam Avenue at 126th Street. The roasted results are so much better than supermarket chickens. [NYS] Lower East Side: Months of Craigslist ads must have done some good, Tailor has scored Room 4 Dessert veteran Pam Yung as the fifth member of its kitchen team. [NYS] Meatpacking District: Paradou’s next dirty bingo night is September 18: kinky prizes furnished by Kiki De Montparnasse. Midtown East: Condolences to those who like a good frisking before lunch, the afternoon buffet in the U.N. Delegates Dining Room will be closed to the public from September 25 – October 5 while the General Assembly convenes. [NewYorkology]

Brooklyn Raccoons Fighting Back at Last

Bedford-Stuyvesant: Property prices are coming down here. Is the checkered hood the first to feel the mighty real-estate market tremble? [Brownstoner] Chelsea: As the Chelsea Hotel faces possible big changes, denizens last week went through the trash in front of the hotel to salvage art books featuring, uh, the hotel. How poignantly meta-something is that? [Living with Legends] Dumbo: What's more exciting around here this week: Film-shoot sightings of that adorable Cameron and Ashton or news that Vinegar Hill will get its very own mom-and-pop pharmacy? You decide. [DumboNYC] Fort Greene: The city wants to use eminent domain to claim a liquor store turned just-finished arts venue as space for a dance company and new housing units. [Gothamist via Brooklyn Paper] Greenpoint: Edits on subway ads here for Tim Gunn's new fashion makeover show indicate that locals would like it to feature more fried-chicken-eating chicks with dicks. [Newyorkshitty] Harlem: Columbia upperclasspeople want the newbies to know that Harlem is not that dangerous and worth checking out — even if, yes, 125th Street is kinda trashy. [Columbia Spectator] Park Slope: The park's geese, ducks, and raccoons are getting aggressive and biting residents. Maybe they're just stressed from trying to get their broods into the hood's top-ranked animal schools. [Gowanus Lounge]

Buttoned-Up Gowanus? Now That's a Theoretical Rendering.

Bushwick: Hoo-boy. We're worried that this very outspoken gentrifying gay blogger — "The Ghetto Gauntlet"? "Shitbag bodegas"? — is cruising for a serious, Bushwick-style bruising. [Bushwick] Gowanus: Only more shocking than this rendering of a massive glass tower planned for Third Avenue and 6th Street is its imagining that, in the near future, people in this skanky/hip hood will be wearing suits and ties. [Gowanus Lounge] Harlem: A very angry-sounding Katrina two-year-anniversary rally is planned for 125th Street this afternoon. [Uptown Flavor] Meatpacking District: How could we have missed that the spike-heeled Carrie Bradtrons who've overrun the meatpacking district have their very own blogger? (And we love that she thinks area designer Thom Browne might be straight. Come on, girl. The guy wears short shorts.) [Stilettos on Cobblestones] Prospect Heights: In a nice match, newcomers here sound about as unpretentiously boring and nondescript as the neighborhood itself. [Daily Heights] Tribeca: Area landlords are saving on exterminator dollars by recommending that their tenants let loose "Gecos" [sic] on insect invaders. As in the salamander-type creature that's the car-insurance mascot. Yes, it's come to that. [Curbed] Willets Point: Did the city encourage blight in the decrepit Iron Triangle area of the Bronx in order to evoke eminent domain and gentrify it? One columnist thinks so. [NYO via OuterB]

Prune Alum Doesn't Fall Far From the East Village Tree

Clinton Hill: The construction workers who opened Il Torchio have created an intimate space serving elegantly constructed Italian tapas but can’t resist sporting baseball caps and — beer in hand — approaching customers to say what’s up. [Clinton Hill Blog] East Village: Prune alum Matt Hamilton will run the kitchen at Belcourt when it opens next month. [NYS] Harlem: Dinosaur Bar-B-Que offers up a Labor Day-weekend recipe: really salty potatoes (yes, that’s 2:1 spuds to salt). [NYS] Midtown West: The London Times picks the Burger Joint in the Parker Meridian as the best burger in New York. [A Hamburger Today] North Fork: A foodie farm tour featuring tastings and cooking demonstrations on September 9 will make a stop at Garden of Eve, a supplier to Flatbush Farm. [Brooklyn Based] West Village: Anita Lo always has a vegetarian entrée available at Annisa in addition to the one listed on the menu. [Restaurant Girl]

Rampant Fowl Misidentification in Park Slope

Astoria: Residents have begun leaving threatening signs around for people who don't clean up their dog doo. What's next? Threatening 311 calls? [Joey in Astoria] Brooklyn: A hotel is set to go up in place of stores that are still there and have not yet been sold to developers. That's always good. [Brownstoner] Columbia Street Waterfront: Things aren't picking up around here the way people anticipated, and they don't even have streetlights! [NYT] Harlem: The City Opera will play at the Apollo. They already have a stump for singers to lean on — smart move! [NYS] Park Slope: Many have reported seeing feral chickens in the hood — but looking at a recent picture on Curbed, we have our own take: They're pheasants. No joke. [Curbed] Staten Island: A "tot" fell out of a second-story window on Tompkins Street. Since it was of the human, not tater, variety, there was much concern — but she's okay! [Staten Island Advance]

Hill Country Delivers in Flatiron; Music Coffeehouse Comes to Chelsea

Astoria: “Restaurant/cafe/bar/club type establishment” Apollon has closed. [Joey in Astoria] Chelsea: Next Tuesday music production school DubSpot is opening a cafe on 14th Street at 9th Avenue that will feature La Colombe coffee. [Blog Chelsea] Flatiron: Hill Country’s now delivering from 21st to 31st Street between 8th avenue and Park, but if you order enough ’cue they’ll lug it anywhere. [Grub Street] Forest Hills: Shwarma destination On the Grill now sprinkles fried, lemony, Moroccan style jalapeños on its platters. [Gothamist] East Village: Il Buco is closed for yearly renovations, but will reopen September 5th. [Grub Street] Harlem: Canines and their humans can unite this Saturday for the first St. Nick’s Dog Park Coffee Bark of September. [Uptown Flavor]

The Royal Duchess of Sluttiness

Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek at what your friends and neighbors are doing behind doors left slightly ajar. Today, the Royal Duchess of Sluttiness: female, 28, bisexual, student, Harlem, in an open straight relationship. DAY ONE 12:07 a.m.: End of a Craigslist blind date. He'd promised it would be tame, and it was at first, just kisses and fondling. Then he tried unsafe sex, and I got turned off and left. 12:35 a.m.: Call my boyfriend, try to convince him to wake up for sex. End up cooing him to sleep. He's an older fellow who is cool with my lesbian sexcapades. 7:45 a.m.: Want to masturbate, but I'm late to class. 5:50 p.m.: The little girl I babysit sees a man and a woman making out in a car. "That's you and your boyfriend," she teases. "Naw, we're motorcycle riders," I reply. 6:30 p.m.: My favorite ex calls for some rainy sexcapades. I accept. 6:57 p.m.: Boyfriend tries to woo me over. I say no. 7:10 p.m.: The ex cancels.

By Arianne Cohen

Underground Railroad Landmarks to Become Underground Garage

Chelsea: This lost cat should be easily identified based on this accurate and lifelike illustration. Or, wait, is that a kangaroo? [Blog Chelsea] Coney Island: Was someone cyber-posing as a circus executive to undermine the Cole Brothers big top that came here recently? [Gowanus Lounge] Downtown Brooklyn: It's increasingly likely that those Duffield Street homes believed to have been stops on the Underground Railroad will soon be replaced by, among other things, an underground parking garage. Inspiring. [Brooklyn Eagle via Duffield St. Underground] Greenpoint: Looks like an open-air weekend art-and-antiques fair is coming to, uh, Grinpoint. [Newyorkshitty] Harlem: A packed room at a community-board meeting was so opposed to Columbia's expansion in Harlem that even eminence noir David Dinkins, who supports the growth, was booed and heckled. [Harlem Fur] Lower East Side: Residents of the Rutgers Houses and Knickerbocker Village don't want all those Chinatown buses congregating on a two-block stretch in their midst. [Chelsea Now via Streetsblog] Soho: "If you had to find one word to describe Soho, it would be 'beauty,'" writes this flack-y blogger. Funny, that. We thought it would be "mall." [Weblicist]

Spanish Harlem's Caminito in the Path of ‘Carlito's Way’

Chelsea: The owner of now-defunct French Oven in Chelsea Market has opened a bakery that, despite its name of Madeleine, actually specializes in macarons; there will be at least eighteen flavors by next week. [NYT] East Village: A wine bar with a garden, opening in Avalon Bowery Place, may foreshadow the successful outcome of plans to create a French-style pedestrian alley in the area. [Eater] Flushing: The Chinese food court J&L Mall has reopened now that Con Ed has turned the electricity back on. [Eat for Victory/VV] Harlem: The uptown outpost of Maroons is slated to open the end of September. [Uptown Flavor] Spanish Harlem: The space now filled by Argentine steakhouse Caminito (found in this week’s Openings) once housed a barbershop featured in the film Carlito’s Way. [NYS]

It's Hard Out Here for a Mascot

Brooklyn Heights: Yet another Montague Street restaurant mascot has been vandalized … and it sure looks creepy lying on the ground. [Brooklyn Heights Blog] Chelsea: Um: Cool air was being force-fed into the Episcopal seminary here during shooting of a new TV show about an immortal detective yesterday. Huh? [Blog Chelsea] Clinton Hill: A former dry cleaner on Lafayette is accepting "proposal’s" [sic] for the space. [Clinton Hill Blog] Flatbush: Doesn’t this post-rainstorm pic remind you of how Tara looked when Scarlett finally got there from Atlanta? [Living in Victorian Flatbush] Harlem: Extreme Makeover: Home Edition hunk Ty Pennington will build a playground at P.S. 72 to help fight ADHD. Or something like that; we stopped paying attention. [HealthNewsDigest via Uptown Flavor] Midtown East: Developer Sheldon Solow faces off against locals as he launches the approval process for a massive riverside residential-commercial project between 35th and 41st Streets. [NYS] Williamsburg: When new buildings go up, taggers hit them fast to make sure they fit in with the graffitiscape. [Gowanus Lounge]

La Esquina Laying Breakfast Eggs on Little Italy

East Village: If you’re a police officer, a nurse, or another kind of emergency service responder, S’MAC will give you a 15 percent discount on your order now through Labor Day. [S’MAC] Flatiron: The name of the new Gansevoort coming to Park Avenue will be … Gansevoort Park. [Down by the Hipster] Harlem: More mega-chain fast food coming soon. [Uptown Flavor] Little Italy: La Esquina now serves breakfast. [Eat for Victory/VV] Midtown East: Tonight at the Mercedes Benz showroom, Adirondack Creamery and Chinatown Ice Cream Factory will dole out green-tea, kulfi-pistachio-cardamom, and almond-cookie ice creams (among other flavors) to ticket holders supporting Asian Women in Business. [AWIB] Midtown West: On August 23, former Maya chef de cuisine Julian Medina is opening his own nouveau Mexican restaurant called Toloache at 251 West 50th Street. [Grub Street]

LeNell’s Looking to Open a Bar, In or Out of Red Hook

Astoria: Ovens being removed from Le Petit Prince sparks fears that the bakery will be closed permanently. [Joey in Astoria] Gramercy: The rooms at the Gramercy Park Hotel might start at $750 per night, but for the remainder of the summer, the third day is free and includes breakfast on the magically exclusive roof deck. [NewYorkology] Harlem: Doughnuts and dogs will both be present at St. Nick’s Dog Park Coffee Bark this Saturday from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. [Uptown Flavor] Red Hook: LeNell Smothers is not only hunting for a new space for her bourbon-heavy liquor store, she also plans to open a (bourbon-heavy) bar right next to it. [Eat for Victory/VV] Meatpacking District: No word on the fate of Socialista now that its backers, the Cipriani boys, have pleaded guilty to evading $10 million in taxes. [NYT] Soho: A boutique hotel being raised at Broome and Thompson will feature a glass elevator that whisks guests from the street to an elevated lobby while simultaneously allowing them to point and laugh at nearby 60 Thompson. [Down by the Hipster]