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Loch Ness Monster on 21st?

A Macy's in Harlem? A sea serpent in Chelsea? A chatty Kathy in the East Village? Yes, children, all that and more in today's boroughs report.

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Toxic Wind Blows From Gowanus

Construction in Gowanus blows a fetid wind across the land, babies terrorize Upper East Siders, and Chelsea residents tear apart Barnes & Noble with their bare hands in our daily roundup of neighborhood news.

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Alexander Hamilton Just Wouldn't Have Approved of a Northeasterly View

Broadway-Flushing: As landmarking honchos drag their feet on protecting this enclave of pretty early-1900s homes, locals wonder if it's more evidence that city pooh-bahs care more about Manhattan and Brooklyn brownstones than they do historic Queens cribs. [NYDN] Brooklyn Heights: How will the city get Brooklynites to the hard-to-get-to Brooklyn Bridge Park? It will bus them! [Brooklyn Paper] Harlem: Some folks are protesting the move of Alexander Hamilton's Colonial house from a cramped street to St. Nicholas Park because — get this — it won't be facing the same way. [Curbed]

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Bushwick Life: Rat Poop on Your Pillow, Organic Milk in Your Bodega

Bushwick: The area is not so gentrified that you may not still experience the thrill of rats going through your trash or taking a dump on your bed. But at least you can get organic milk in the bodegas now. [BushwichBK] Clinton Hill: It looks like the stakeout for Spitzer's hooker bookers has moved here, with TV crews sniffing around for Tameka Lewis, a.k.a. "Rachelle." [Nervous Acid] Fort Greene: Perhaps remorseful that he demolished the area's only supermarket to make room for a massive 600-unit condo project, John Catsimatidis promised it'd have a grocery. But nearby project dwellers worry they won't be able to afford it if it's one of his Gristedes. [NYDN]

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Chelsea Clearview West Finally Cedes Dominance to Chelsea Clearview

Chelsea: The School of Visual Arts has acquired the Chelsea West Cinemas on 23rd Street for use as auditoriums … and the school's acting chair, design legend Milton Glaser (who did both the "I Heart NY" logo and the original New York Magazine emblem), will redo the place inside and out. Cool! [Mediabistro via Blog Chelsea] Cobble Hill: Did some of Spitzer's ho brokers live here or in Brooklyn Heights? Either way, kinda classy hoods to be associated with this tawdriness, if you ask us. [Cobble Hill Blog] Coney Island: The city will replace huge, ugly, hazardous gaps in the boardwalk with a concrete-plastic wood-look-alike material … but, fakaktaishly, not until after the summer season. [NYDN]

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The Chelsea Hotel Undergoes a Voice Change

Bedford-Stuyvesant: Someone who lives on this cute block has a thing against homeless people. Or hipsters. We can't tell which. [newyorkshitty] Chelsea: After 30 years as the voice of the Chelsea Hotel, telephone operator Amy Miller is retiring. Bet she's heard some bad verbiage in her days. [Living with Legends] Cobble Hill: Are those yellow boxes on top of this Walentas building going to be bulkheads or illegal beachy cabana things? Only time and angry neighbors will tell. [Brooklyn Paper]

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The Lower East Side's Latest Sustainable Restaurant; Plus, Rayuela's New Takeaway Outlet

Clinton Hill: Don’t be fooled by Met Foods window painting claiming the supermarket has the “[l]argest fresh organic products in the area.” You’ll be “hard-pressed to find any (just the usual half-rotten produce they usually carry). It’s clearly a reaction to the threat of all the discerning customers shopping at Green Planet.” [Clinton Hill Blog] Greenwich Village: The Starbucks on 8th Street between Fifth and University is closing and has posted in its window a bizarre, farewell letter of sorts, which begins, "This thing we have together, it’s bigger than this place." And in a weird way, the epistle is spot-on. [Gothamist] Harlem: Where can a gal just get a beer and a burger in this gentrifying area? [Uptown Flavor] Lower East Side: Rayuela is expanding with a Latin takeout spot set to open at the end of March in the former LoSide space. [Eater] Lee Gross’s organic eatery Broadway East opens March 7, and like this week’s ecofriendly thirst quenchers, "filters and carbonates its own water." [Strong Buzz] Freemans will totally let you order artichoke dip before you place your entrée order; they changed their policy two years ago after Bruni’s "Satisfactory" review. [Diner’s Journal/NYT]

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The ‘Crazy Super’ Has a Dog Named Pretty Girl

Bay Ridge: Richard Martin, the "crazy super" who posts homicidally threatening signs about trash disposal, says of his tenants "They're Arab; they don't give a f*ck"; has a cute Pekinese named Pretty Girl; and worships Jeanine Pirro. Feast on his cranky, strangely lovable weirdness. [NYP] Chelsea: Facing lawsuits from folks who say it's too loud and polluting to be there, the 30th St. pier heliport floats a plan to move itself onto two barges offshore. And Curbed is right... this homespun sketch of the plan indeed features the quaintest, gentlest West Side Highway we've ever seen. [Villager via Curbed] Ditmas Park: Folks in these gentrifying, pretty parts know that the hatred currently directed at Park Slope will soon be visited upon them. And they're probably right. [Ditmas Park Blog]

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