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So What Does the Liberal Media Think of Ralph Nader's Latest Presidential Bid?

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We'll admit it, we spent most of yesterday thinking about the Oscars. We tried to do our other normal Sunday things (hating the people in Page Six Magazine, hating the people in the New York Times wedding pages, hating Chris Matthews for having that voice so early in the morning), but most of the day was really devoted to looking forward to seeing George Clooney in a tux. And when Ralph Nader announced that he was running for president again, it was a small blip on our mental radar. (Come on, in competition with imagining what it would be like to be George's human cummerbund, it didn't stand much of a chance.) So this morning we decided to look online to see what other, less absurd members of the media, thought about the news. And it didn't take much digging to discover the general, um, sentiment. An assortment of news headlines: • Nader, spoiling for a fight, says he'll run yet again. [LA Times] • Spoilin' for a Prez Run, Says Nader [NYDN] • Nader's back, spoiling for another White House fight [AFP • Nader enters race, rejecting label of potential 'spoiler' [Boston Globe] • Ron Paul: Spoiler? [U.S. News & World Report] This is going to be fun, isn't it?

Bad Dreams

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Funny thing we noticed last night about People magazine: People seem to be having a lot of nightmares lately. (Above, this week's cover at left and the May 28 cover at right.) Horrific family tragedy equals, apparently, a lazy headline writer's dream! Horror in the Night [People]

How Now Dow Jones?

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• Thirty or so Bancrofts are converging on a Boston Hilton today to discuss whether they'd like some more money. (Actually, spread across the clan, the estimated $500 million in profit a Dow Jones sale would bring doesn't sound like a staggering amount.) [NYT] • Councilman and former Black Panther Charles Barron (he of the "Sonny Carson" avenue-renaming idea Bloomberg called "the worst ever") announced he's running to replace Marty Markowitz as the Brooklyn beep. Should be a lively campaign, as they say. [NYP] • In rapper-arrest news, Lil Wayne and Ja Rule have been picked up on separate (!) gun-possession charges in busts an hour apart. [WNBC] • Midtown businesses that lost money to last week's steam-pipe blast will not see a red cent from Con Ed — not even restaurants that lost their supplies to spoilage when the power was cut. Some are threatening to sue. [NYDN] • And the Yankees beat the Devil Rays 21-4 last night, which both tabs agree puts the team in the "21 Club." Yuk yuk yuk. [NYDN, NYP]

Please Call Andrea Peyser a Bimbo

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Wednesday we pointed out what might well be the best New York Post cover ever, a Photoshop job of adoring throngs lifting a fresh-out-of- prison Paris Hilton. But we also noticed a curious coincidence: "Paris Liberated, Bimbos Rejoice," read the cover line — and inside the paper marquee columnist Andrea Peyser was, in fact, rejoicing. Was the Post calling its own writer a bimbo? And, if so, how would she feel about that? From today's e-mail:
From: Peyser, Andrea [SMTP:xxxx@nypost.com]
Sent: Friday, June 29, 2007 11:00:56 AM
To: intel
Subject: bimbo? I love you!
Oh, we love you, too, you little bimbo. Earlier: 'Post' Either Loves or Hates Paris Hilton

‘Times’ Couplets: Nobody Mention the Elephant in the Room

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Wherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret messages from the paper of record. Tough Time Ahead for President New War Czar Wins Praise, but White House Is FaultedLack of Access to Polling Places, For 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell,' Split on Party Lines, It's Subpoena Time! Lies, Sighs and Politics Victory, Defeat, RealityPart Coach, Part Motivator and 100 Percent Welcomed: Waiting for Al Gore. They Always Come Out Ahead; Bet on It? Let's Twist Again, Dude, as the Screws Turn.

They Report, You Decide?

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Wherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret messages from the paper of record. Still Unsettled in Wake of New Questions What Seller Wants a Low Price? Who Says They're Too Old to Stay in the Game? Where's the Other Half of Your Music File? Any Wonder It Wasn't Built in a Day? How Weird Are Your Daydreams? Time Wasted? Perhaps It's Well Spent. Who Says Warming Is a Problem? Where Now, for the Wind? An Answer to Help Clear His Fog….? Break a Confidence? Never. Well, Hardly Ever.

‘Times’ Couplets: Watch Where You're Going!

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Wherein we arrange Times' headlines in verse to bring you secret messages from the paper of record. The Troubles: A Walking Tour No Sleep Is Part of the Ordeal. Passing Mile Markers, Snapping Pictures Woman Falls Through Sidewalk Grate. Going Like 60 (Tick Tick Tick) The Suns Forge Ahead Without Stopping for Pity. Rescuers Try to Lure Lost Whales With Sound. 5-Year-Old Marathoner to Walk 300 MilesNot for Kids Only, Seeking Buccaneer Bliss. A Long Road Ahead, The Last Eden. Paradise Preserved — in a Restless Continent. —Lizzie Skurnick

‘Times’ Couplets: Finally Over That Whole Tea-Party Thing

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Wherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret truths from the paper of record. Back in U.S., Queen Celebrates Ex-Colony Hopper's America, in Shadow and Light: Sometimes You Can Go Home Again. Confusion and Deception as a Royal Family Affair In a New Space and Time, a Classic Story of Tragic Love, Family Values, Betrayed. As the Climate Changes, Bits of England's Coast Crumble Away From Her-- Time's Wounds. And the Heart's? Yankees Find Just Enough to Get By. —Lizzie Skurnick

‘Times’ Couplets: The Children Are the Future

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Wherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret truths from the paper of record. Mankind's Appetite for Destruction in the 20th Century One Bad Swing Can Often Lead to Another: The Drama of Daytime: Friendships, Feuds and Fury; Murky Emotions Floating to the Surface, The Pressure of Great ExpectationsStruggles to Regain Equilibrium. Digging for Clams and Difficult Answers (Not Any Time Soon) Seek Balance of Unity and Differences. Glimpsing the Future (and a Babe) Change the World (and That Diaper). —Lizzie Skurnick

‘Times’ Couplets: There's No Place Like Home

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Wherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret truths from the paper of record. An Anglophilic Yankee Aristocrat and His Finds Across the Pond From Asia to the Caribbean to New York, Appetite Intact, Putting Up His Dukes, for His Country, His Race and Money, Going Against the Flow. Ferry Required? No Bridge, No Problem. Solitude and the Sea... A Brutal Passage From India to Misery at Sea, and Back. Innocence or Experience? An American Tale. On Friendly Turf, Suggests History Will Be Kind to Him. —Lizzie Skurnick

‘Times’ Couplets: Not Everyone's Built to Be a Man-eater

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Wherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret messages from the paper of record. Manhunt Begins Hooking a Big One? Revolution Begins at the Beauty Salon. Sallie Mae Said to Talk to SuitorsNo Matter the Message, It's Delivered With Dazzle. Mixing Poise and Panache Parise Wastes Little Time in Firing Up the Devils. Sharon's "Condition" Is Said to Improve: Statistics Show Ups, Downs and Betweens. When the Haunted One Turns Into the Hunter Paris Believes in Tears (and Love and Real Estate). From Call Girl to Kant Girl in a Flash of White Panties Giving All for Her Country but Also Feeling the Pain. —Lizzie Skurnick