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Your Apartment Hunt: Now With Supermodels!

Petra Nemcova is trying her hand at selling real estate, and Howard Stern and Jay-Z split over the Democratic presidential candidates. That and more in our daily gossip roundup.

Today in Class Envy: Brooke Astor's Park Avenue Floor Plan

How DO you fit five bedrooms, three maids rooms, six bathrooms, six terraces, a library, a sitting room, a dining room, several walk-in closets, and a private gallery all in one apartment? We know you were wondering...

Ashton Kutcher, Fashion Cyborg

Ashton Kutcher quite literally comes apart for Mario Testino on the cover of V mag's spring issue, on stands today. Inside, he further opens up in an article interestingly titled “I’m Not Real.” Some choice highlights:

Bra-llelujah! Spanx Bras Hide Back Fat

Have Spanx done wonderful things for your bum? Well, they must do wonderful things for boobs, too, because their new bras are flying off the racks.

The La Palapa Party Bus Starts Rolling Today

East Village Mexican eatery La Palapa will not let a week's worth of renovations slow down the fiesta. Instead, they've hired a party bus and D.J. Juan Carlos to shuttle dinner patrons back and forth to their West Village location. On the way over they'll be serving antojitos like chile-and-lime-roasted peanuts and chicharrones with salsa valentina. Not good enough? A bartender dressed like Frida Kahlo will be serving complimentary margaritas, Cosmopolitans à la rosa, and Palomas (tequila and Mexican grapefruit soda). Bus trips start at 5 p.m. on Monday and will continue through the week. It all sounds a little uncomfortably like the start of our spring-break trip to Rosarito. We just hope for the sake of our T-shirts that it ends better. --Lauren Salazar

Mob Allowed Giuliani to Live, Wear Leather Vests

giuliani '86
This bit of today's news will undoubtedly be welcome in the Giuliani campaign HQ: Yesterday, a witness at a trial mentioned a mob-boss summit in the fall of 1986 where a hit on Rudy Giuliani was seriously discussed. The Gambinos wanted the pesky prosecutor dead; the Bonannos demurred. Giuliani lived to milk his landmark Mafia investigation all the way to City Hall — and now he can easily squeeze it for an additional bio-burnishing PR tidbit as a presidential … sorry, what were we saying? We can't concentrate because we're staring at the bewildering photo of '86-era Rudy that accompanies the story. What's that look he's going for? It's like … a leather-daddy Woody Allen with Paul Simon's hair. Forget the crime-fighting cred: Rudy better hope this story doesn't get any traction. Court Told Mob Bosses Voted on Whacking Giuliani In '86 [NYDN]

‘The Closer’: We Will Not Be Sated by a Shower Scene

Note to The Closer’s writers: Just because you finally dropped the early-menopause bomb and delivered a super-gory episode last week doesn’t mean you should hand things over to the interns and go out for cocktails.

O.J.'s Book Set to Drag Us Through the Whole Mess Again, Again

O.J. Simpson
In a discomfiting turn of events, the family of murder victim Ron Goldman has decided to publish O.J. Simpson's book If I Did It, the fictionalized tell-all from Simpson's perspective about what happened the night Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson were killed. We've been waiting all day to hear which New York publishing company will reap the benefits, but thus far, no announcement. Last month, the Goldmans were awarded the rights to the book by a federal judge, since they are owed $33.5 million in damages by the former football star. It will be published with "commentary" from the family. The book's agent is Sharlene Martin, who made a name for herself by repping celebrity tell-alls like You'll Never Nanny in This Town Again (by Michael Ovtiz's angry former nanny) and the unsold This Used to Be My Playground (by Madonna's angry former nanny). Whatever publishing house prints the book should hire Martin, because she understood what Judith Regan never did: You can't write books about killing people unless the surviving families get in on the deal. Duh. New York Company to Publish O.J. Simpson Book [Reuters]

Fabiola Beracasa Gets Us Into the Gramercy Park Hotel’s Roof Club

How do you get to the Roof Club and Landscaped Garden of the Gramercy Park Hotel? Just take the elevator. Thing is, you’re going to need a private membership card to key it — and that’s why we suggest you set aside any ambition of seeing the place’s Damien Hirst paintings and amazing view in person and simply let Fabiola Beracasa give you the video tour. Chances are, even if you have $545 for a room or the wherewithal to gain admittance, you’re not going to have a drinking companion as lovely as Fab.