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Bernanke Attempts to Stimulate American Economy; World Clenches Buttocks

Bernanke
"Well, so much for inflation fears. And a good thing, too," Matt Cooper wrote on his Portfolio blog this morning, after the Federal Reserve, faced with a global stock sell-off ignited by fear of a recession, cut the federal-funds rate three-quarters of a percentage point, the biggest single cut in interest rates, according to The Wall Street Journal, since 1982. Cooper sounded a little like he had just woken up. "The rate cut was needed and the dribbling of half and quarter point cuts," he wrote. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, who had been leading a press conference on the hale state of the U.S. economy when the news came in, was also pleased. "This is very constructive, and I think it shows this country and the rest of the world that our central bank is nimble and can move quickly in response to market conditions," he said. Others were more skeptical.

Mayor Bloomberg Smooches Janice Min

Danny Fields, manager of Iggy Pop and the Ramones, filed a $100-million suit against Out magazine for making him seem like a pedophile. Heath Ledger crashed a party at the Bowery Hotel with three Australian friends and drank champagne. Mayor Bloomberg kissed Janice Min after Us Weekly named him one of the 25 Most Stylish New Yorkers. Kanye West bailed on gigs at the Today show, Letterman, and TRL because he doesn't think he needs to promote his new album. Jennifer Hudson will play Sarah Jessica Parker's assistant in the Sex and the City movie. Wilmer Valderrama took Mandy Moore shopping for blazers at Saks. Damien Hirst didn't know who the Olsen twins were before they came to his party at the Prada store on Friday.

International Relations

GQ editor Jim Nelson has come under fire for using the phrase "Asian whore" twice in his editor's letter. A staffer for Mayor Bloomberg doesn't believe in global warming. Chelsea Clinton ex Ian Klause has a book coming out about his exploits teaching U.S. history and English in Iraqi Kurdistan. Iggy Pop's Egyptology studies at the University of Michigan were the basis for the Stooges aesthetic. Some claim Starbucks only decided to stock Ishmael Beah's memoir about the child soldiers of Sierra Leone to deflect criticism for exploiting Third World country farmers.