False sightings shut down a Long Island beach.
Here's a photo.
Whoa, you sure, America?
When will the cycle of abuse end?
Is it safe to go back in the water?
"Because the only thing more stupid than being eaten would be being eaten and not having the videotape."
Sure, they'll be walled off in a giant aquarium ... for now.
A 24-foot-long sea beast beached itself on a Long Island shore earlier today. Humans were only mildly thwacked.
And in hunting down this video, we make a special discovery about the fans of Anderson Cooper.
We would have maybe started by getting drunk with a room full of geese, but this is probably good practice, too.