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Ramona the Pest

Is Real Housewife Ramona Singer the "most hated woman in New York"? Which famous-for-being-rich couple had to borrow cash to pay for their wedding license? And what other screen star may have had an affair with JFK? All this and more in today's roundup of the best of the gossip pages.

The Long Hand of the Trumps Slaps Madame Tussauds Right in Her Wax Face

Ivana Ivanka
In the most hilarious press release we've received all week, today we learned that Ivanka Trump actually doesn't send nail polish to Madame Tussauds weekly to spruce up the wax mannequin in her likeness. We can only imagine the nasty personal phone calls that the Donald made to some poor executive at Tussauds in order to cause them to squeak out this apology. They probably involved a lot of scathing sarcasm and scowling head bobs that you could just hear through the phone. Below, the statement:
Madame Tussauds New York would like to set the record straight. On Friday, the Daily News called and was inadvertently given incorrect information by a Tussauds employee. Unfortunately, the employee thought the Daily News was asking about a different figure. Madame Tussauds New York does not in fact have a figure of Ivanka Trump... yet. We apologize for the confusion. Madame Tussauds loves the Trumps and is very proud of its figures of Donald and Ivana Trump, as well as its more than 200 lifelike figures.
OH MY GOD — are they saying Ivana Trump is sending nail polish for her wax likeness at the museum? That's even better!

Zang Toi Incorrectly Assumes That Sharon Stone Wants to Meet More Gay Dudes

Zang Toi
Someone hacked into designer Zang Toi's computer and sent out an invitation to clients like Sharon Stone and Ivana Trump asking them to join Gayguyschat.com. Julian Schhabel wore pajamas under his jacket to the Critics Choice Awards. Duh. West Village neighbors of Tom Brady and Gisele are not happy that paparazzi now roam the blocks. Joey Buttafuoco is annoyed that a "friend" of his secretly filmed him having sex with his second wife and is now selling the footage. Lizzie Grubman is unable to lend support to any of the candidates because she is a convicted felon and thus can't vote. Barbara Corcoran is now nicknamed "The Usher of the Flusher" after appearing on a Today show segment on luxurious bathrooms.

Mr. Big Almost Gets Beat Up

Chris Noth
Chris Noth was accosted by an angry trucker in the Bronx who wanted to know when he was going to marry Carrie. People were afraid to talk to Javier Bardem at the New York premiere of No Country for Old Men because he was so crazy in the movie. Dr. Ruth gave a copy of Sex for Dummies to Ivana Trump and fiancé Rossano Rubicondi while eating lunch at Michael's. Anna Wintour had a meeting yesterday with Mayor Bloomberg. Ethan Hawke wowed the crowd at Off Broadway play Jump by breaking out a Karate Kid kick during an audience-participation bit. Zac Posen's mom claims that her son can remember every outfit he's worn to every party over the past 27 years.

Benicio Del Toro Helps Out a Gay Meth Addict

Benicio Del Toro
Former New York Stock Exchange chairman Dick Grasso may or may not have had an affair and fathered a love child. Steven Spielberg ate at the Waverley Inn with his family and a whole lot of other famous folks. Denise Rich sang a Rolling Stones song to an audience that included Donald Trump Jr. and Ivana Trump at new venue Espace. Benicio del Toro appeared at the Gay Men's Health Crisis Center as a sponsor for a meth-addict friend. One of Howard Stern's sidekicks filmed a porno inside Stern's studio with Ron Jeremy. Jay-Z may be "scrambling" because the lead single from his American Gangster album is not doing well.

The Lady Is a Trump

Ivana Trump may be about to change her name to Rubicondi, but she’s still got that Trump-family braggadocio. When we asked her if she’d ever seen a yacht as fabulous as Angel Ball host Denise Rich’s 6,000-foot My Lady Joy, Ivana smiled sweetly and answered in true Trumpian style. “Well, you know, the most unbelievable yacht was actually Trump Princess," she said, without missing a beat. “It was previously owned by [Saudi arms dealer] Adnan Khashoggi, then he sold it to the Sultan of Brunei. Then we bought it from Sultana de Brunei" [Ed.: Dude, I think a "sultana" is a kind of raisin.] [BM: What I am I supposed to do? That's what she said.] "then Donald sold it to the banks when he was in certain financial difficulties at a certain time.” That, of course, was years ago, so Ivana brought us up to date. “And then, Ivana, which is my yacht, is also spectacular," she added. Obviously! —Bennett Marcus Get hair coloring tips from Joss Stone and accessories advice from Don King at our complete coverage of the 2007 Angel Ball.

Richard Gere's Sell-Buy Conundrum

Richard Gere
Richard Gere may buy the penthouse in Julian Schnabel's West Village building, if he can sell his Sullivan Street townhouse for $12 million first. Henry Kissinger, Michael Eisner, and Barry Diller were among the power players who ate at Michael's for lunch yesterday. Some designers are refusing to use the Earth Pledge's ecofriendly "Sea Leather" because it's actually made out of dead fish skin. Ivana Trump's new engagement ring, from daughter Ivanka's jewelry line, costs $250,000. Anderson Cooper told Conan that he has a "fatty deposit" under his eye that is visible in high definition. NBC refused to run a Larry Craig–inspired political commercial, though CNN picked it up. (Perhaps it had something to do with Matt Lauer's interview with the disgraced senator?)

The ‘Observer’ Has a Crush on Ivanka

Jared and Ivanka
Is the Observer turning into a big, pink Valentine to owner Jared Kusher's girlfriend? For the second week in a row, Ivanka's creamy bosom heaved at the lower right-hand corner of our screen this morning. It was a photo from her jewelry launch at the Carlton back on September, part of a slideshow of images that follows readers around the site. And the Trumps are literally in the paper every week — just last week, there was a gentle interview with the whole fam: "Does it bother you being on billboards, Ivanka?"

Serena Williams Is Trying, Damn You

The chaotic, shutterbug-infested scene at Zac Posen's show meant that celebrities from Demi on down to Ivanka Trump were unavailable for us to chat up. And so Serena Williams, sitting just outside the fray, provided the rote quotes.