You remember William Unroch. He's the lawyer representing possible transsexual Maximilia Cordero in her lawsuits against Jeffrey Epstein and the Post; a blogger; a sometime Daily Intel correspondent; and a genuine crazy person. William read our post earlier on the Wall Street Journal's story about the large percentage of lawyers who suffer from depression and the Websites that have sprung up to help them, and he decided to put his two cents in on the subject.
Lawyers are Sad because they do not read Unroch's blog The Spirit World (you known the site). Guilt and misery are common byproducts of most lawyers. Vicious is as vicious does. The Spirit world will cleanse them. Happy is the lawyer who dwelleth in the house of Unroch's blog.
Hm. Actually, lawyers are depressed because they have insane billable-hour quotas and are constantly fighting with people. That said: Unroch's musings on "dead pig vapor," "Devil Midgets," and Mike Huckabee ("Sounds like a good guy. But does he accept the Space Pig?") do make us smile. Happy holidays, lawyers!
William Unroch's Blog [Attorneys NYC]
Earlier: Daily Intel's coverage of William Unroch and Maximilia Cordero
Back in October, we delighted in the rococo law filings filed by William J. Unroch, Esq., on behalf of his client and maybe-girlfriend, Maximilia "Ava" Cordero, a self-described model who claimed that at 16, she was molested by billionaire finance guy Jeffrey Epstein. ("Epstein suddenly went into the bathroom and came out several minutes later wearing red lipstick and wearing a matted red wig," read a portion of her suit. "He said to plaintiff 'Call me Janice.'") Then the Post discovered that Maximilia was actually very probably a dude, which made everything even more interesting. "Gender-Bend Shocker!" they said. "Kinky-Sex Suit Gal Is a Man!" But apparently Unroch was not as amused as we are, because now he and Maximilia are suing News Corp., the Post's parent company, for $100 million dollars. The complaint, which paints a picture of a fragile girl-man, besieged by a billionaire, an "unsuccessful dominatrix," a publicist, and a conspiratorial news organization headed by a gang of reporters, names a number of Post writers and editors, reserving particular ire for Post reporter Lucy Carne, who according to Unroch, refused to print a retraction to a detail she knew to be false, reportedly telling him: “My father is the biggest lawyer in Brisbane, Australia.” "While perhaps your boss the Australian Media tycoon Rupert Murdoch is impressed with your dad’s legal skills and perhaps uses him as an attorney," Unroch sniped back, he says. "It is irrelevant to this matter unless I am missing something.”
Earlier: Daily Intel's coverage of William J. Unroch and Maximilia Cordero
Mariane Pearl, the widow of murdered Wall Street Journal writer Daniel Pearl, and the Journal are no longer on friendly terms. Naomi Campbell told a crowd at a dinner for the Black Action Retail Group that she was done with throwing cellphones. (Her visit to Hugo Chavez also garnered praise from terrorist groups.) Former Giant Tiki Barber will attend the book party of NFL Network host Rich Eisen tonight at the Time Warner Center. Tyra Banks made out with a "gorgeous model type" at Thor in Hotel Rivington. Hilary Duff gave lap dances to a Joel Madden look-alike at Tenjune. Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg ran into her aunt Lee Radziwill at City Center.
Jeffrey Epstein, the billionaire and friend of Clinton who was charged last year with paying teenage girls to massage him while he jerked off into a towel at his pink Palm Beach mansion, has decided not to plead guilty, the Post reports today; he'll take his chances with a jury. Reporting this must have been bittersweet for the Post, because they've been insisting for months that Epstein had taken or was literally on the verge of any minute taking a plea deal. But then we expect they are waiting with baited breath for all the lurid details of the trial to come out. As are we! In fact, with the expectation that all the stories we've heard in the months since the allegations first came to light are going to be rehashed in the trial, which the Post says is scheduled for January, we're going to repeat one of our favorite bits from the recent lawsuit filed lawyer extraordinaire William Unroch on behalf of his ex-lover, transgender kinda-model Maximilia Cordera:
[Epstein] suddenly went into the bathroom and came out several minutes later wearing red lipstick and wearing a matted red wig. He said to plaintiff “Call me Janice.”
Michelle Williams may be leaving Boerum Hill because the brownstone she lives in is too big for just her and the baby. A pregnant Nicole Richie smoked a cigarette outside Da Silvano. Ed Westwick, a.k.a. Chuck Bass on Gossip Girl, likes playing the bad boy. (Also, he's British!) Ryan Gosling shopped for flannel shirts at the Urban Outfitters on West 14th and also set off the store alarm. Jennifer Hudson canoodled with New York Jets free safety Kerri Rhodes at Cipriani. Joan Rivers claims her apartment was once haunted by a Jewish ghost from Larchmont. Natalie Portman couldn't flirt her way to a table at LES restaurant Apizz. The launch party of the Supper Club at the National Arts Club was way too hot.
The news this morning that Jeffrey Epstein accuser and tranny Maximilia Cordero filed a similar suit against another older man for making her his underage "sex slave" back in 2002 prompted William Unroch, Cordero's lawyer-boyfriend, to send Daily Intel yet another missive, complaining about how the Post is choosing to "discredit this young woman" over focusing on the "child molester." A copy of his revised complaint against Epstein was also attached. We're not going to reprint it here, because for one it is really, really, really gross, but suffice it to say that if Unroch wants the focus shifted back to Epstein's misdeeds, well, then, naming Victoria's Secret and Limited Brands founder Leslie Wexner as a defendant because the company "knowingly allowed the defendant Epstein to use the glamour and lure of their names to harass and trap young models and teenage girls in performing sex acts with defendant Epstein" and sprinkling your complaint with colorful scenarios like "plaintiff told defendant Epstein 'I'm Old Yella' and began barking like a dog" and "Jeffrey Epstein went into the bathroom and came out several minutes later wearing red lipstick and wearing a matted red wig and said to plaintiff 'Call me Janice'" is probably not the way to do it. It is, however, a good way to prove you are completely and fully batshit insane.
She (He) Has a History [NYP]
Earlier: Daily Intel's Coverage of the Unroch-Epstien-Cordera Triangle
Maximilia Cordero, the 23-year-old "model" who sued Jeffrey Epstein last week, claiming that he took advantage of her when she was 16, has turned out to be a dude. This morning's Post reports that Maximilia was born Maximillian in 1983, but has been dressing up as a girl since the age of 12. Her MySpace profile, under the name Avarelle Cordera, says she is a 17-year-old model, "Oh and I'm a junk head (pills , designer substances and my fav disel) What girl in this indistry [sic] isn't :)Just being honest:)"
"She's female, and she's always been a female," her lawyer-boyfriend, noted philosopher and friend of Daily Intel William Unroch told the Post confidently. "I may also be a female. I'm checking with my doctors," he said. Avarelle/Maximilia/Maximillian has also been known as Ava, or she was last year when Unroch sued one of his neighbors for saying he lived with an underage girl and made her "nervous" and fear for her kids. "She's a nice young lady who is certainly not underage," Unroch, 57, told the Post of "Ava" at the time. Well, one of those things is true!
Gender-Bend Shocker [NYP]
Avarelle Cordero [MySpace]
Earlier:Intel's Coverage of Maximila Cordero
UPDATE: As an astute reader pointed out, that picture on her MySpace is actually Gia Carangi
This morning we received an e-mail from our new favorite person, William J. Unroch. For those just tuning in, William is the lawyer representing the 23-year-old model who the other day filed a suit against banker and Clinton friend Jeffrey Epstein claiming he asked her to perform "bizarre" sex acts at the tender age of 16. It's a curious case, not least because William, 57, is not only the plaintiff's lawyer, but also her boyfriend. He's also a modeling agent, a prolific blogger, and now, possibly, a healer? A modern Renaissance man!
So earlier Gawker followed up on our post about William Unroch, the lawyer who's representing 23-year-old Maximilia Cordero against alleged underage-model sexer Jeffrey Epstein, and discovered that in addition to his Website, William has a fantastic blog, on which he talks about his two girlfriends — "wifey 2 who is 18 almost 19 requires lots of attention" and "wifey 1 who is 23 only requires money" ahem — and basically flamboyantly exhibits the fact that he has no credibility whatsoever. But he's super entertaining! And so, to end the day, we'll leave you with one of William Unroch's Deep Thoughts.
Met 17 year old supermodel Laura in Riverside Park. She was incredibly awesome. I felt like Charlie Brown the first time he actually met the great pumpkin. This kid was more together in her little pinky than all the jewish housewifes in Long Island and maybe even Queens put together in one smoldering lump of dirty doo doo.
I can't even think of anything nasty to say. Anyway this convinced me that the terror of the stinky middle aged girl friend(which I never had) is not the answer to Darfur or West End Avenue for that matter. Like the Bard said. "Truth is beauty, beauty truth. That's all ye know on earth and all ye need to know."
Happily, Maximillia Cordero, the 23-year-old model who filed a lawsuit against Jeffrey Epstein yesterday claiming he forced her to perform "bizarre and unnatural sex acts" back when she was 16, is in capable hands. Literally! It turns out the lawyer who filed the complaint, 57-year-old William Unroch, is also her boyfriend, and he's as familiar with the shady modeling business as he is with the curve of a young woman's thigh. How? He runs his own model-management service, with a special focus on helping out young, naïve girls who are thinking about moving to the city to start a modeling career, since, as he notes, "New York is also filled with aggressive people who often take advantage of weak-minded young people." But luckily, William is there to help them with this most important step in their careers!
A 23-year-old model named Maximilia Cordero has filed suit against money manager Jeffrey Epstein. Her complaint, which is up on the Smoking Gun right now, alleges that as a 16-year-old, Cordero was not only sexually assaulted by the billionaire — who she says told her, “You have a tight butt like a baby” before coercing her to perform "bizarre and unnatural sex acts" — her senses were assaulted by the terrible décor in his Upper East Side mansion. “That defendant gave plaintiff a tour of his mansion, showing her a huge crystal staircase with a huge crystal ball by the railing, ceiling chandeliers, a lounge room with red chairs, a statute [sic] of a dog with a statute [sic] of dog feces next to it.” There are a few weird things about Cordero’s complaint — like the spelling issues and the fact that at 16 she was “known professionally as Ava” and also that crazy photo — but we do sort of understand why she’s saying her experiences at the mansion gave her “several mental disease and defect.” Design that bad could scar anybody for life.
Sex Suit Targets Pervy Financier [Smoking Gun]
Earlier:Daily Intel’s coverage of Jeffrey Epstein
James Mackenroth, a contestant on the upcoming season of Project Runway, may have been voted off in part because of a staph infection made worse by his HIV. Sarah Jessica Parker and Jennifer Hudson filmed a scene for the Sex and the City movie together at the Carlyle Hotel, and SJP gave JHud a CD! A-Rod and Martha Stewart posed for photos together at Nobu 57. Contrary to a previous "Page Six" report, attendees at the Rolling Stone reunion in San Francisco actually did drink the Champagne that Jann Wenner sent. James Gandolfini pulled out of appearing at a John McCain fund-raiser in New York because of "scheduling conflicts." Anderson Cooper thinks Britney Spears is underreported on.
Now that Jeffrey Epstein is expected to plead guilty to soliciting underage prosties, the gagillionaire's legal team is hoping they can somehow get him out of having to register as a sex offender. According to a letter from Epstein's lawyer to the U.S. attorney, unsent but obtained by Page Six, "Doing so will have a profound impact [on Epstein] both immediately and forever after." Um, yeah. Isn't that kind of the point?
"I don't like living in another man's house," billionaire money manager Jeffrey Epstein was quoted saying in New York five years ago, referring to the $10 million of renovations he was making on his 51,000-square-foot Upper East Side mansion. That's too bad for him, because the Post is reporting this morning that despite the best efforts of his lawyer Ken Starr, Epstein has made a deal with Florida state authorities and will soon be going to prison for up to eighteen months for soliciting underage prostitutes. This means Epstein will have to leave his massive Upper East Side mansion, his pink Palm Beach spread, his New Mexico ranch, and his 100-acre private island in the U.S. Virgin islands behind for one of three places: the West County Detention Facility, a spacious spread located 45 miles west of West Palm Beach in the city of Belle Glade, Florida; the Palm Beach County Stockade, a seventeen-acre compound adjacent to the South Florida Fairgrounds (although, as an inmate, you can't go to the fair, the Stockade does offer Culinary Arts and Drug Education classes); or the Main Detention Center. This last option, a $52 million twelve-story high-rise in West Palm, might most remind Epstein of home — except, of course, he'll be sharing it with 2,106 other roommates.
'Unhappy Ending' Plea Deal [NYP]
Earlier: Jeffrey Epstein, International Money Man of Mystery [NYM]
Polish Commish Ray Kelly may be angling to become Mayor, or, if Hillary Clinton becomes President, her Homeland Security chief. A math teacher in Brooklyn got Mickey Rooney and Celeste Holm to star in his $50,000 indie romance flick. Ron Burkle hung out at Rose Bar in the Gramercy Park Hotel with Kate Hudson and two other blondes. Giselle is selling her West Village two-bedroom (replete with hot tub and grilling deck) for $10.9 million. Page Six contends that Vanity Fair is not killing a piece on Bill Clinton buddy Jeffrey Epstein and that Vogue's Meredith Melling Burke did not go around Nantucket trying to pick up townies, contrary to what Gawker says. Diddy reportedly called a door girl at Gold Bar a "fucking bitch" when she asked him how many people were in his party.
The Plaza Hotel turns 100 on October 1, and she's having a birthday party. MTV nixed having the stars of The Hills go to the Gossip Girl premiere party at Tenjune. On NY1's Wiseguys, Ed Koch and Al D'Amato berated lefty Mark Green over MoveOn.org's "General Betray Us" ad. Alina Shriver, sister-in-law of Maria and wife of Anthony Kennedy, just debuted a clothing line. A Pontiac had to be removed from the stage of 50 Cent's concert at Hammerstein Ballroom because it had gas in the tank. Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, and Violet played in Sheep Meadow. Eartha Kitt, better known as Catwoman, says she's 80 but still "burning."
Sony chairman Howard Stringer called Steve Jobs "greedy" at the Allen & Co. conference. The main character of Doug Stumpf's Confessions of a Wall Street Shoeshine Boy may be based on pervy billionaire Jeffrey Epstein. Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise went to the Biography Bookstore in the West Village and then to Magnolia. Joe DiMaggio's brother Dom is not pleased the Yankee Clipper's diaries are for sale. Stone Phillips is leaving Dateline, and he bought his longtime assistant an Audi as a parting gift. Matt Damon wants Al Gore to run for president. Ashlee Simpson helped beau Pete Wentz conquer his fear of flying so Wentz could get to the Hamptons via seaplane. Democratic Leadership Council Chairman Harold Ford Jr. hung out with Jay-Z, Nas, and Kid Rock in Southampton. Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany brought their 4-year-old to the Children's Museum of Manhattan.