Oscar bigwigs released this year's crop of nominees Tuesday, but after the flop that was the Golden Globes (the opening night of awards season), it's tempting to ignore Hollywood's annual self-congratulation spree and embrace a good old-fashioned orgy of shame. That's right, the Razzie Awards! They beat Oscar to the punch Monday, naming their choices for 2007's very worst. As ever, the race for the Golden Raspberry is as tight as Burt Reynolds's face. We can't contain ourselves! So, we won't: Read on for our exuberant choices as to who stank up the screen the most.
Worst Supporting Actor Nominees: Orlando Bloom, Kevin James, Eddie Murphy, Rob Schneider, Jon Voight.
Not to ruin his moment, but we dispute Orlando's inclusion: He looked smoking hot in Yet More Pirates of the Caribbean, and that's truly the most supportive an actor can be. Chuck & Larry's problems go way beyond poor Kevin James, and, let's face it, there's no way Rob Schneider was any worse in that than he is in anything else. That leaves Jon Voight in Bratz (oy) and Eddie Murphy as Mr. Wong in Norbit, another of those parts he hogs because he's a whore for latex makeup. But it's Voight's Razzie to lose, if only because seeing his name next to the word "bratz" makes us want to crawl back into the womb.
Lindsay Lohan has been hanging out a lot with Courtenay Semel, the daughter of Yahoo! CEO Terry Semel and a "power lesbian." Also her dad, Michael Lohan, played Joseph in a Times Square Nativity scene. Dennis Miller and Jon Voight are among the Rudy Giuliani supporters in Hollywood. The Spears line continues: Britney's 16-year-old sister, Jamie Lynn Spears, is pregnant. Is Damon Dash's junk mind-blowing? A woman is claiming that he made her bipolar when he exposed his genitals to her.
Larry David and his environmental-activist wife, Laurie, have separated. Today show staffers refer to Good Morning America as "Gay-MA"; GMA staffers refer to Today as "Yesterday." Marc Jacobs is back on with boyfriend Jason Preston and even got Preston's initials tattooed on his stomach. Graydon Carter thinks of Vanity Fair's publisher as a dancing monkey. Eric Alterman claims his arrest was a "misunderstanding"; police claim they asked him to leave a private reception area seven times and that Alterman was "belligerent." Vanessa Minnillo is gaining a rep with TV insiders as being difficult to work with, and photos of her posing with Lindsay Lohan and a knife aren't helping.