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Kelsey Grammer

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Angie Harmon Is Just Like Us!

The 'Women's Murder Club' star joins the Official 'Gossip Girl' Fan Club, and other tidbits from today's gossip columns.

Ewan McGregor Gets Lost

Plus: Chris Noth is Renée Zellweger's 'One and Only,' and the MTV Movie Awards cut to the chase.

Celebrities' Advice for the Pope

What Tom Wolfe, Evan Rachel Wood, Amy Sacco, and Carson Kressley think the Big B should do with his time in the city.

Robert Zemeckis Delivers Four Jim Carreys in Your Christmas Stocking

A Carrey Carol: Jim Carrey will play Ebenezer Scrooge plus the three ghosts who haunt him through the dual miracles of performance capture technology and his own rubbery face in Robert Zemeckis's A Christmas Carol for Disney. Anyone who goes to see this movie deserves what he gets.

Scalia Digs Torture

Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia is, not surprisingly, a fan of Jack Bauer's 24 torture techniques. Mark Green is set to join Al D'Amato and Ed Koch on NY1's Inside City Hall program. Jeanine Pirro is set to star in a Judge Judy–esque show. Ellen Barkin and Ralph Fiennes have been canoodling. Knicks point guard Stephon Marbury gave $300 to a homeless man. The Olsen twins trekked to Atlantic City for a Bob Dylan concert. The late Kurt Vonnegut has a role in an upcoming DVD. A gay former CBS News producer filed a $10 million discrimination suit against his former employer because he felt the network didn't want his gay-bashing in St. Maarten to be publicized. Aussie golfer Greg Norman and his ex-wife-to-be have finally come to (undisclosed) terms on how to split up his $500 million fortune. Patti LaBelle didn't need a mike to wow a Carnegie Hall audience.

But Does Jerry Like Laura Bush's Corn?

Laura Bush and the First Twins saw Grey Gardens (the twins laughed; mom did not). Paula Abdul was caught on tape sobbing and complaining about her former publicist, Howard Bragman. (She also claimed she doesn't get drunk or do drugs). Hedge-fund manager Scott Bessent bought the late Pat Kennedy Lawford's co-op for $12 million. Lindsay Lohan is set to lose hundreds of thousands of dollars in 21st-birthday-party sponsorships because of her DUI arrest. A waiter head-butted a hostess at Alison in Bridgehampton. Mischa Barton called Cisco Adler after being rushed to the hospital for an allergic reaction, much to the dismay of her dad. A bunch of female celebrities, including Gabrielle Union and Erika Christensen, posed naked for a book. Michael Bublé tried hooking up with Emily Blunt at a hotel but failed. Red Eye contributor Rachel Marsden had to be escorted out of Fox News headquarters for "bizarre and erratic behavior."

Today in Swag: Anne Heche Gives Lessons; Josh Holloway Matches

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The upfronts continue, and so, naturally, does the swag. In our final report from the front lines of celebrities getting stuff they could easily pay for themselves, we've got a little news from Tuesday and some shocking scoops from yesterday.

G-Unit

Entertainment Weekly upfronts party. The Box, 189 Chrystie St., nr. Stanton St., 9 p.m. Expected guests include Balthazar Getty, Kelsey Grammer, Judy Greer, Tim Gunn, and others whose last names don’t start with a “G.”