Andrea Peyser — Wait for It — Thinks Someone Is a BoneheadThat delightful harpy harshes on Dumbo, Robin Quivers leaves Staten Island for the Upper West Side, and a white Seattle woman gets stuck in Harlem and lives to tell. That and more tales of the miraculous in our daily boroughs report.
neighborhood watch
Chelsea, Now With Lap Pools!Chelsea: New promo pics for the too-fabulous Yves (so French!) condo tell a smoldering story of love, lust, and on-site lap pools. [Curbed]
Clinton Hill: Don’t click here unless you’re ready to see the dead, mutilated squirrel left in front of the home of this blogger. Revenge from a developer who got a snarky write-up? [Brownstoner]
Downtown Brooklyn: The massive new real estate planned for the area may not be so massive overall…think 1.6 mil square feet of office space versus the 4.5 mil projected a few years ago. [NYO]
neighborhood watch
It’s the Circle, the Circle of Homeless Life…Coney Island: Is it really any surprise that arguably the creepiest Halloween freak show in the city is here? [Kinetic Carnival]
Corona: The city has evicted rent-stabilized tenants to make room for homeless families, leaving the original families … uh, homeless. [NYDN via Queens Crap]
Dumbo: The Village Voice thinks this is the Best Manhattan Neighborhood in Brooklyn, and it even comes with that all-important “nostalgic desolation” that Manhattan now lacks. [VV]
neighborhood watch
Manhattan Mini-Storage Ads Go Over Line, West Side HighwayBushwick: It’s hard out there in the ‘shwick … for a gay, twentysomething yuppie when he’s waiting for the hood to gentrify so he can cash in on your property and leave. [BushwickBK]
Chelsea: Manhattan Mini-Storage’s ads can sometimes be annoying, but how excellent is it that this flagrantly pro-choice one, hangin’ large over the West Side Highway, has NYC’s six conservatives enraged? [Gothamist]
Flushing: Brace yourself for a big, shiny new development here with a Home Depot, Target, and million-dollar condos for folks who, according to the developer, are “upscale, middle-income and multiethnic” … all at once! [OuterB]
Gowanus: State enviro-honchos and Keyspan have reached an agreement on cleaning up the subterranean toxic goop at two sites in this area, plus at several others in the borough. [Gowanus Lounge]
Kensington: Faced with choosing between two blights on society to fill a long-empty building — methadone users or law students — it seems locals will gladly suffer the latter. [Kensington Blog]
Lower Manhattan: Is it an art installation … or the indoor bike-parking facility set up at 280 Broadway for city workers? Click and decide. [Streetsblog]
Williamsburg: All the hipsters had a good, self-referential laugh last night during the McCarren Pool’s screening of Bonnie and Clyde when the screen duo’s sidekick C.W. Moss is scolded by his dad not for being a criminal but for getting a tat. Ha ha ha, movie stars, they’re just like Us! [Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn]
neighborhood watch
Botanical Fight: Who’s Got the Greenest Block in Brooklyn?Bedford-Stuyvesant: MacDonough between Stuyvesant and Lewis Avenues is the Greenest Block in Brooklyn, says the borough’s Botanic Garden. [Gothamist]
Bushwick: New condos on Wyckoff Avenue are cheaper than much of the market, but that’s because the closest subway stop is Dekalb Avenue on the L. [Brownstoner]
Dumbo: The grand opening of the Pearl Street Triangle is tomorrow at 12:30. Check out the benches, chairs, and potted trees. [Dumbo NYC]
Greenpoint: What was that mysterious, brightly lit new storefront on Franklin last night? Hipsters? Poles? Fresh retail? [Greenpointers]
Kensington: Folks in this up-and-coming enclave want you to know that recent crimes reported to have taken place here actually happened in Flatbush, okay? [Kensington (Brooklyn)]
Long Island City: The neighborhood has spawned a new MP3 download service. [LICNYC]
Williamsburg: Some locals dispute recent media assertions that the city has been cracking down on rogue construction around here. [Gowanus Lounge]
neighborhood watch
Hunting for Yuppies in GreenpointCorona: Is this the hot new Queens nabe? Is there a truly hot Queens nabe? [OuterB]
East Village: So the new marketers of Stuy Town are spinning the open lawns there as “a park.” But say some they’re not, technically. Ouch. [Atlantic Yards Report]
Gowanus: Swank new condos are slated for the canal. How Venice — stench included. [BrooklynPaper]
Greenpoint: The hood’s old-timers (or maybe it’s just kooky blogger Miss Heather) want to fuck up smack-talking yuppie insurgents. [Newyorkshitty]
Kensington: Around these parts, they sneak pics of taggers, then pedal away like hell when the taggers spot ’em. Brave. [KensingtonBlog]
Soho: Just because that proposed sanitation garage on Spring and Washington might be colorful doesn’t mean locals are any happier about it. [The Villager]
neighborhood watch
Cue the Violins in Park Slope and KensingtonConey Island: The clowns have been sent. Cole Brothers Circus is on the old go-kart tracks through August 5. [Gowanus Lounge]
East Village: Duane Reade finally has Harry Potter. There’s no need to go without. [East Village Idiot]
Jackson Heights: Mayor Bloomberg runs afoul of locals complaining about traffic, noise, and sanitation gripes. [FoxNews via QueensCrap]
Kensington: Talk about a virtual inferiority complex: Locals here lament that their Wikipedia page is not as nice as Park Slope’s. Cue violins, please. [KensingtonBlog]
Park Slope: Whine of the Day from the Slope set? “Why did they reduce driving hours in Central Park and not our park? Whaaa!” [Gowanus Lounge]
Union Square: Beware the hordes of student filmmakers in the park today. [The Weblicist of Manhattan]
Williamsburg: White middle-class preservationists faced off against nonwhite low-income affordable-housing proponents at a hearing over the future use of the Domino sugar factory. [Brownstoner]
neighborhood watch
High Line to Get New Glass TowerChelsea: Architect Stephen Holl surprised Charlie Rose last night when he announced on the TV show that he’s designing a glassy tower for the “spur” of the High Line, at 30th Street. [BlogChelsea]
Dumbo: Some jerk decapitated the Urban Fossil Bird Woman sculpture in Brooklyn Bridge Park! That wasn’t very cool. [DumboNYC]
Greenpoint: Locals will rally on Franklin Street tonight to say “No, No, No!” to harassment from landlords. [Newyorkshitty]
Kensington: Check the expiration date on items from Foodtown, locals warn. [KensingtonBlog]
Long Island City: Why is the Landmarks Preservation Commission fawning all over altered buildings on the LES but ignoring the historical buildings here? [Queens Crap]
Times Square: Remember the halcyon days when a walk down 42nd Street would yield leers from a real live pervert … not a giant M&M ad? [Copyranter]
neighborhood watch
You Can Choose Your Friends, But You Can’t Choose Your Friends’ CondosAstoria: Tonight at the Beer Garden, it’s Harry and the Potters. Get drunk with your fellow nerds! [Joey in Astoria]
Downtown Brooklyn: New buyers into 110 Livingston will be relieved of common charges for six months if they can convince a bud to buy in the building, too. [Curbed]
Harlem: Rumors are flying that rich, new white residents want the name of Marcus Garvey Park — longtime site of the Saturday-night African drumming circle — changed back to Mount Morris Park. [Amsterdam News via Harlem Fur]
Kensington: Local watchdogs regret to inform you that the hood ain’t got much crime, save the occasional Peeping Tom or delivery-boy mugging. [Kensington Blog]
Northwest Bronx: When Bronx councilmember Joel Rivera didn’t show up at a meeting to address restaurant workers’ rights, the workers flooded his office with “menus” demanding he hear them. [WestBronxNews]
Sunset Park: Construction is under way here on … no, not a new luxury condo, but an actual public high school, complete with bright yellow squares on it! [IMBY]
Upper East Side: Old-timers oppose a bike lane on a stretch of 91st Street that’s become an unofficial park over the years. Younger locals support it. [Streetsblog]
neighborhood watch
Chasing Developers Out of WilliamsburgGreenpoint: Shooting Rescue Me here deprives residents of their one day of worry-free parking. [11222]
Harlem: Lost Chihuahua Bugzy is back on the streets, but not before undergoing a mandatory manhood removal. [Harlem Fur]
High Bridge: Even as the city restores Saturday hours to many libraries, a Bronx branch will close for two years. [Highbridge Horizon via West Bronx Blog]
Kensington: Why did no one listen back in 2002 when apartments here cost half as much and didn’t need a gut reno? [Kensington]
Red Hook: Porthole Cruise Magazine selects Red Hook as the country’s best new homeport, whatever that means, exactly. [NYP]
Williamsburg: Concerned residents kill a proposal for a 24-story tower between Bedford and Berry. [OnNYTurf]
neighborhood watch
Nothing Says ‘Small-Town Feel’ Like Community ToiletsThe Bronx: Car-free Sundays return to the Grand Concourse. [Streetsblog]
Clinton Hill: Hollenback Garden invites all the neighbors to soil the soil, but wait until the composting toilet is built on Saturday. [Clinton Hill Blog]
East Village: One Ten 3rd is still not ready for human occupancy, but for now it’s populated by a bunch of Sub-Zero refrigerators. [Curbed]
Jackson Heights: The normally private gardens here are open to the rest of us schlubs for the weekend. [OuterB]
Kensington: Virgin doesn’t even bother giving this underrated neighborhood its own ad. They just get a generic “Brooklyn” one. [Kensington Blog]
Park Slope: Anyone want to buy Seventh Avenue Books? It’s “priced to sell.” [Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn]
neighborhood watch
Kylie Minogue’s Giant Head Protects SohoBrooklyn Heights: This posh hood got a little grittier yesterday when a truck carrying tons of “deep, rich loam” overturned on Cadman Plaza West. [Curbed]
Chelsea: Even the famously shabby Chelsea Hotel is freshening up, now with a new awning. [BlogChelsea]
Downtown Brooklyn: There were fake-blood-soaked dummies and actors galore yesterday for the 7th Annual EMT/Paramedic Competition. [McBrooklyn]
Kensington: You know Brooklyn’s gotten trendy when none other than J.C. Penney starts shooting catalogs in its parks. [Kensington]
Soho: Grey Gardens–obsessed Kylie Minogue will replace Madonna (and her boobs) as the face of H&M staring down on Houston Street. [Copyranter]
Williamsburg: Get some sun Saturday in the new East River State Park, which for now is open only on weekends for “passive recreation.” [Metro NY via i’m not sayin’, i’m just sayin’]
neighborhood watch
Kensington Old Guard Protecting Neighborhood From Park Slope FateClinton Hill: Former Queer Eye foodie Ted Allen and his partner traded in their three-bedroom in Chelsea for a four-story house on Washington Avenue. [Brownstoner]
Kensington: Neighborhood veterans are blasting newcomers for wanting to turn their quiet corner of Brooklyn into Park Slope. [Kensington Blog]
Lower East Side: Protest the closing of Tonic by hanging out there after it’s closed. [Brooklyn Vegan]
Midtown West: Remember Hudson Yards? The city still has plans, which may involve demolishing part of the High Line. [NYS]
Park Slope: D’Agostino’s and Gothic Cabinet Craft are being displaced by, yes, another bank branch. [Gowanus Lounge]
Red Hook: A community coalition may be calling to get your opinion on the future of the waterfront. [The Brooklyn Paper]
neighborhood watch
Good-bye, Irving Plaza. Hello, Fillmore New YorkGowanus: Ecofriendly Whole Foods continues to ignore pleas from area residents that its store coming to Third and 3rd be, uh, ecofriendly. [Gowanus Lounge]
Gramercy: The (sadly franchisey-looking) new Fillmore sign has gone up on the marquee of the old Irving Plaza. [Idolator]
Greenpoint: Locals party with pot, booze, coke, and Time magazine. Good times. [Newyorkshitty]
Harlem: A 123rd Street minister has sparked a boycott of new businesses that he says are pushing out the hood’s “indigenous people.” [VV]
Kensington: Can’t save enough to make a 20 percent down payment? A sponsor can help. [Kensington (Brooklyn)]
Upper East Side: Good fences make good doggies? After lots of nasty barking between the owners of big mutts versus small ones, a new waterfront dog run at East 63rd Street will have a temporary fence to keep the Dobermans from the dachshunds. [NYS]
Williamsburg: Look for a new psychedelic mural by Dave “SKWERM” Ellis over at 58 North 6th. [Brooklyn Record]
neighborhood watch
Holy Kensington, Batman!Bedford-Stuyvesant: Who’d have thunk: Cute boîtes like Le Toukouleur are popping up in old do-or-die Bed-Stuy. [Bed-Stuy Blog]
Corona: The Willets Point corridor, a.k.a. that patch of car-related shops called the Iron Triangle, won’t be redeveloped without a fight from area biz owners. [Queens Courier via Queens Crap]
Greenwich Village: So just how much did NYU pay off the residents of 250 Mercer to rip up their street in order to expand a co-generation plant? [The Villager]
Harlem: While area pet owners await Animal General’s arrival in the neighborhood, they can bring their furry friends to Petland Sunday for a quick and cheap vet check. [Harlem Fur]
Kensington: The hood isn’t merely getting popular; it’s also really holy in a multisectarian way. [The Brooklyn Paper]
Lower East Side: Yet another scrappy art gallery loses its home to make way for — surprise! — a condo conversion and is instead moving to — surprise — Bushwick. [Downtown Express]
Williamsburg: Sure, the Karl Fischer condos are taking their own sweet time to rise. But look at all those balconies! [Curbed]
neighborhood watch
At William Beaver House, Brand Early, Brand OftenAstoria: Did a Bauhaus-era South Beach hotel fly through the air, Oz-like, and land on 21st Street? How else to explain the new Astoria Windsor apartment building? [Curbed via Queens Crap]
Boerum Hill: Perhaps where an air conditioner used to cool is now a shrine to the Virgin Mary and, uh, Barbie. Is the Bethlehem Barbie Dreamstable somewhere nearby? [Lost City]
Governor’s Island: So NASCAR didn’t work on Staten Island. What about Indy racing here? [NYS]
Kensington: The jilted neighborhood is conspicuously absent from Brooklyn Record’s breakdown. What gives? (Blog fight!) [Kensington Blog]
Lower Manhattan: At the construction site for André Balazs’s super-hyped Beaver House condos (studio: $870,000), even the construction crane is part of the branding. [Curbed]
Soho: Madonna and her cleavage will be overlooking Houston & Crosby on behalf of H&M for a while. [Copyranter]
neighborhood watch
How Bad Is Your Post Office?
Brooklyn Heights: Did Tim Robbins move in? There was a spotting on Henry Street. [Brooklyn Heights Blog]
Harlem: If your kids don’t say “I Want!” to you enough, take them to the new toy store on 120th and Lex. [Harlem Fur]
Kensington: After a YouTube clip of a Harvey Fierstein–voiced crazy going, well, postal at the notoriously dysfunctional P.O., some other dissatisfied customers chimed in. [Gowanus Lounge]
Lower Manhattan: In a process akin to finally removing a tumor eating at New York City’s soul, demolition of the 9/11-contaminated Deutsche Bank building finally begins. [Downtown Express]
Prospect Heights: A dozen residents could lose their apartments to make way for one family’s need for a five-bedroom house. [The Brooklyn Paper]
Williamsburg: (Well, the Williamsburg Bridge, that is.) Fresh off this gushing Village Voice profile, street artist Deuce 7 drops a new stunner. [Razor Apple]
neighborhood watch
Have a Global Warmy Christmas in Prospect ParkBrooklyn Heights: A tree may grow here, but apparently grass doesn’t. [Twofones via Brooklyn Heights Blog]
East Village: Cooper Union students respond to impending demolition of the Hewitt building with apropos typeface. [RazorApple]
Kensington: Don’t be jealous of South Slope. There are plenty of permit-less contractors for everyone. [Brownstoner]
Maspeth: It’s not like you forgot about this neighborhood. You had no idea it existed. [Forgotten NY]
Prospect Park: It’s above 60 degrees today, so it must be time to turn on the Christmas lights at Grand Army Plaza. [Brooklyn Record]
West Village: Expect the mother of all beg-a-thons when WNYC moves into new digs. [The Villager]