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Andrea Peyser — Wait for It — Thinks Someone Is a Bonehead

That delightful harpy harshes on Dumbo, Robin Quivers leaves Staten Island for the Upper West Side, and a white Seattle woman gets stuck in Harlem and lives to tell. That and more tales of the miraculous in our daily boroughs report.

Chelsea, Now With Lap Pools!

Chelsea: New promo pics for the too-fabulous Yves (so French!) condo tell a smoldering story of love, lust, and on-site lap pools. [Curbed] Clinton Hill: Don't click here unless you're ready to see the dead, mutilated squirrel left in front of the home of this blogger. Revenge from a developer who got a snarky write-up? [Brownstoner] Downtown Brooklyn: The massive new real estate planned for the area may not be so massive overall...think 1.6 mil square feet of office space versus the 4.5 mil projected a few years ago. [NYO]

It's the Circle, the Circle of Homeless Life…

Coney Island: Is it really any surprise that arguably the creepiest Halloween freak show in the city is here? [Kinetic Carnival] Corona: The city has evicted rent-stabilized tenants to make room for homeless families, leaving the original families … uh, homeless. [NYDN via Queens Crap] Dumbo: The Village Voice thinks this is the Best Manhattan Neighborhood in Brooklyn, and it even comes with that all-important "nostalgic desolation" that Manhattan now lacks. [VV]

Manhattan Mini-Storage Ads Go Over Line, West Side Highway

Bushwick: It’s hard out there in the 'shwick … for a gay, twentysomething yuppie when he's waiting for the hood to gentrify so he can cash in on your property and leave. [BushwickBK] Chelsea: Manhattan Mini-Storage's ads can sometimes be annoying, but how excellent is it that this flagrantly pro-choice one, hangin' large over the West Side Highway, has NYC's six conservatives enraged? [Gothamist] Flushing: Brace yourself for a big, shiny new development here with a Home Depot, Target, and million-dollar condos for folks who, according to the developer, are "upscale, middle-income and multiethnic" … all at once! [OuterB] Gowanus: State enviro-honchos and Keyspan have reached an agreement on cleaning up the subterranean toxic goop at two sites in this area, plus at several others in the borough. [Gowanus Lounge] Kensington: Faced with choosing between two blights on society to fill a long-empty building — methadone users or law students — it seems locals will gladly suffer the latter. [Kensington Blog] Lower Manhattan: Is it an art installation … or the indoor bike-parking facility set up at 280 Broadway for city workers? Click and decide. [Streetsblog] Williamsburg: All the hipsters had a good, self-referential laugh last night during the McCarren Pool's screening of Bonnie and Clyde when the screen duo's sidekick C.W. Moss is scolded by his dad not for being a criminal but for getting a tat. Ha ha ha, movie stars, they're just like Us! [Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn]