Just when we thought Fashion Week held no more surprises, we discovered that, as usual, we were wrong. After all, if sharing air space with K-Fed, J.Lo, and Liza Minnelli (L.Mi?) wasn't enough to shake us out of our jaded, hard-hearted cynicism for a moment, nothing is. And though the last eight days were often exhausting and occasionally eye-crossing, they were also, as ever, tremendously fun. Here are a few highlights:
Hot on the heels of yesterday's rumors that Kevin Federline would be sitting in Marc Jacobs's front row, we have now spotted K-Fed at the Sean John show at Cipriani 42nd Street. If we were the betting kind — and our twelve-step sponsor says we are — we'd say Sean John is just K-Fed's warm-up act (with all due respect to Mr. Combs). If he's here, it all but confirms that El Fed will be sweating out the six-hour wait at Marc Jacobs. As any self-respecting tabloid fixture would!
A PETA protester accosted designer Donna Karan inside her Central Park West apartment after an assistant mistakenly let her in. Kyle MacLachlan and his wife are expecting a child. Tom Cruise, Jennifer Lopez, Demi Moore, and a host of other stars all turned out for Madonna's "Raising Malawi" (Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon did not, however, after learning that the event was sponsored by Gucci). Rachel Zoe came to Fashion Week with eight suitcases, two of which were for accessories. R.E.M. played a series of impromptu shows on the Lower East Side earlier this week.
There may be a bribery scandal floating around the 69th Regiment Armory, but Marc Jacobs's show will still go on tomorrow night at the scene of the crime (bets are still out, however, on how many hours late he'll start). As Marc is the show of the week, rumors are flying about the blogosphere like they're, dare we say, going out of style. Cathy Horyn heard that Sonic Youth would be playing at the show and found it hilarious (why that's so funny, we have no idea).
James Mackenroth, a contestant on the upcoming season of Project Runway, may have been voted off in part because of a staph infection made worse by his HIV. Sarah Jessica Parker and Jennifer Hudson filmed a scene for the Sex and the City movie together at the Carlyle Hotel, and SJP gave JHud a CD! A-Rod and Martha Stewart posed for photos together at Nobu 57. Contrary to a previous "Page Six" report, attendees at the Rolling Stone reunion in San Francisco actually did drink the Champagne that Jann Wenner sent. James Gandolfini pulled out of appearing at a John McCain fund-raiser in New York because of "scheduling conflicts." Anderson Cooper thinks Britney Spears is underreported on.
If you'd suggested last summer — or even this past spring — that sleazy miscreant Kevin Federline would someday have the favor of both public opinion and his mother-in-law, we'd have smiled supportively and sent you to Promises. But as the ugly custody battle between Britney Spears and her infamous sperm donor rages on, with K-Fed's lawyer now sending legal papers to Brit's bodyguard and former assistant, the man who once accurately rapped that he's "America's Most Hated" has gone from poster boy for bottom-feeders to potential Father of the Year.
Congresswoman Bella Azbug was once asked to be a stand-in for Shirley MacLaine in The Apartment, but she declined. On the set of her first movie, Kim Cattrall was told she resembled Marilyn Monroe, "not in looks, of course, but in lack of talent." Harold Ford and three blondes hung out at Blue Ribbon Sushi till 2 a.m. Chris Robinson is happy that ex Kate Hudson is dating Dax Shepard because now he has more time to hang out with their 3-year-old son. The kiddie imprint of Simon & Schuster is releasing a guide to orgy etiquette. Ted Turner still owes merely $642 million of the $1 billion he pledged to donate to the U.N. a decade ago. Elton John once tried to commit suicide by sticking his head in an oven, though he used a pillow and put the gas on low.
Lindsay Lohan's bodyguard claims Dina and Michael weren't the best parents. Maria Bartiromo pissed off PETA by posing in a Michael Kors coat with fox-fur cuffs. The Box smelled like burnt hair for two hours after a patron's hair caught on fire. Jay McCarroll's friend says he has an Upper West Side apartment, contrary to what the designer told New York. Katie Couric belted out "Sweet Caroline" at a piano bar in Nantucket. Harvey Weinstein picked Clint Eastwood to compose the score for John Cusack's new movie. City comptroller Bill Thompson says he was able to buy an apartment in Brooklyn shortly after graduating college in 1974, but his daughter couldn't even afford to rent one. Chris Noth will be in the Sex and the City movie.
During a recent photo shoot for OK!, Britney Spears fondled herself, peed in public, and walked away with $21,267 in clothing. Jay-Z is considering jumping from Island Def Jam to Columbia Records, perhaps because Jermaine Dupri was named president of Island's urban music division. A lot of coarse language will have to be edited out of the roast of Flavor Flav when it's aired on Comedy Central. Lauren Bacall can't find herself a man who isn't already married. Judi Giuliani hosted a fund-raising cocktail party at the Ritz-Carlton in Battery Park. Tom Brady and Donald Trump played golf at Trump's club in Westchester. Scary Spice is starting to hint at "troubling aspects" of ex-husband Eddie Murphy's lifestyle, but she hasn't specific. An upcoming book on personal hygiene portrays the French as rather smelly.
Judith Regan has secret tapes that may help her $20 million lawsuit against Rupert Murdoch. The Land Rovers and helicopters used to launch a new Ralph Lauren cologne may have disturbed a community of East Hampton piping plovers. Cindy Adams, who has a vendetta against Larry David because he dissed her once, claims that Laurie had been stepping out on him for quite some time (and that he's being set up with Ellen Barkin). Olivia Newton-John really liked Xanadu. OK! dropped $400,000 on sex pics of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo, but the mag won't publish them. Claire Danes may have landed the lead in the Pygmalion revival because the director directed her boyfriend in Journey's End. Annie Leibowitz angered the Queen of England by asking her to remove her crown during a photo shoot.
Sony BMG chief Clive Davis doesn't like Kelly Clarkson's music, even though it makes his label a lot of money. Barbara Corcoran dropped trou for a bunch of people who commented that she'd lost weight. Ellen Barkin returned some diamonds she was loaned to wear to a Darfur benefit at Cannes at 3 a.m. Usher has taken to calling in radio stations to complain about hosts who make fun of his fiancée. President Bush promised a bunch of Vietnam vets that he'd read a book that alleges that Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld, among others, were responsible for keeping soldiers in Southeast Asia even after the U.S. withdrew from the region. In her new book, former venture capitalist Christine Comaford-Lynch compares Barbara Walters to a small action figure.
Courtney Sale Ross, founder of the Ross School in the Hamptons and the new Ross Global Academy charter school in the Tweed Courthouse, is not the easiest person to work for (as Phoebe Eaton reports in this week's New York.) Construction on Ann Curry's townhouse on West 71st Street has led to four lawsuits from angry neighbors. Bruce Willis got a make-out session with Courtney Love on his 52nd birthday. Michael Jackson is in talks to build a 50-foot robotic replica of himself in — where else? — Vegas. Governor Eliot Spitzer is liberal with the compliments. Former Studio 54 busboy and current Nobu managing partner Richie Notar will run Ian Schrager's Asian fusion restaurant in the Gramercy Park Hotel. The former chef at 44 used to serve Calvin Klein McDonald's French fries for lunch, and Klein was none the wiser.
Designer Anand Jon, who's charged with multiple counts of sexual assault, is a publicity whore and total creep. Among the dogs in Lindsay Lohan's life right now are a Yorkie, a Jack Russell, and Jude Law. Uma Thurman and André Balazs officially broke up yesterday. Nicole Richie collapsed on the set of The Simple Life in Malibu. A woman once died in Jay McInerney's bed. The Jewish Theater of New York wants the Times to fire drama editor Rick Lyman for allegedly passing on reviewing Last Jew in Europe because of pressure from the Polish government. NY1 political anchor Dominic Carter wrote a book about his hard-knock childhood. Country-music star Merle Haggard backs Hillary Clinton for president but is not ready to fully commit to her. Florida advertising mogul Jordan Zimmerman is backing Mitt Romney for president. Two more top editors from Life & Style quit.