This is the worst news you'll hear all day.
The Oscars isn't the only one who can play fast and loose with tradition, you know!
Get ready for a Lucci-esque waiting period!
They're offering to let her perform in a 'large bed' onstage.
Robert Pattinson is the first confirmed presenter for this Sunday's Oscars.
'Slumdog Millionaire'-mania is unavoidable, people.
The world's greatest awards campaign continues!
Gabriel has refused to perform at the Oscars if it means he only gets 65 seconds in between 'Jai Ho' and 'Oh Saya.'
Whatever that means!
It will be a night that she never forgets.
Face it, America just prefers 'Blart.'
See this year's only BAFTA acceptance speech to necessitate an apology from the BBC!
See Radiohead's awesome performance of '15 Step' with the USC marching band.
Which other hip, relevant artists were denied on-camera awards last night?
U2, Beyoncé, and David Archuleta: total locks.
Surely he'll be able to think of something that will get people to watch!