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Wall Street Suffering Butler Shortage

FINANCE • The Dutch-based International Butler Academy may open a New York training center to supply hedge-fund managers with personal valets. [NYP] • A Cerberus managing director admits the firm has a horrible name but says it's too late to change it. [NYT] • Activist fund managers are known on the Street to be bullies. But who's the meanest of them all? Vote now. [DealBreaker]

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If You've Been Injured by a Man With Tuberculosis …

LAW • So the guy with the dangerous strain of tuberculosis (now quarantined in Colorado) is, naturally, a personal-injury lawyer. [Law Blog/WSJ] • An in-house lawyer at G.E. sued the company for gender discrimination but worries she won't find many plaintiffs to join her in a class action. [NYT] • Though William Lerach was never indicted as part of the Millberg Weiss kickback case, he is considering leaving his own securities firm. [NYT]

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There's Nothing Uglier Than New Money

FINANCE • Which New York hedge fund makes its employees' spouses sign "postnup" agreements to protect assets? [FT via MSNBC] • Losses at Goldman's Global Alpha Fund mean smaller checks for employees. Will they leave the firm for a healthier, wealthier fund? [NYP] • Summer interns at Credit Suisse have an important role to play: standing in line at Shake Shack. [DealBreaker]

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At Reed Smith, the Summers Make More Than the Staff

LAW • Reed Smith's summer associates are currently making more than the firm's first-years. The indecency of it all! [Above the Law] • Ann T. Pfau was named chief administrative judge of New York's court system, the first woman to hold the post. [New York Law Journal] • In addition to pay raises, Big Law has to offer associates some new perks like 401(k) plans, bonuses, and concierge services to retain them. [National Law Journal]

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Private-Equity End-Time Is Near!

FINANCE • The big private-equity guns are sounding warning shots of a bubble. Henry Kravis and David Rubenstein believe the good days are waning. [WSJ] • Despite the bullish market, Goldman Sachs initiated a "pause" in hiring. Is an industry-wide freeze likely to follow? [Breaking Views via DealBreaker] • Wall Street firms are having trouble keeping analysts because the work is boring and the pay better elsewhere. [NYS]

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Merrill Lynch Better Get Over That Case of the Mondays

FINANCE • Good-bye, long weekends at the Hamptons. Merrill Lynch employees now have just three sick days a year, down from an unimaginable 40. [DealBook/NYT] • At Renaissance Technologies, no traders and analysts need apply. The hedge fund hires only physicists, mathematicians, astronomers, and computer scientists. [Reuters via Deal Breaker] • Some notable Wall Street wives (Mrs. Leon Black, Mrs. Steven Roth, and Mrs. Carter McClelland, to name a few) backed the recent flop Coram Boy, the most expensive play ever staged on Broadway. [DealJournal/WSJ]

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Hedge-Fund Managers Have Ostentatious Hobbies

FINANCE • Young hedge-fund managers play in cover bands but instead of sticking to local bar gigs, they fly to London and rock out there. [BBC via DealBreaker] • The only humans left on the NYSE trading floor are tourists. [NYP] • Bank of America is sued for racial discrimination after five black current and former employees claimed that white employees get all the lucrative clients. [NYT]

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Former Goldman Sachs Head Scoffs at Street Salaries

FINANCE • John Whitehead, the former chief of Goldman Sachs, blasted the firm for leading Wall Street's "outrageous increase" in salaries. [Bloomberg] • John Edwards earned a paltry $480,000 while studying poverty at Fortress. [DealBook/NYT] • Should the SEC investigate claims of stock manipulation at Apple? The company shares were down 3 percent yesterday after the tech blog Endgadget published a false tip reporting product delays for the iPhone and a new Mac operating system. [DealBreaker]

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Anyone Else Want to Acquire a Media Property?

MEDIA • Thomson agreed to buy Reuters for $17 billion, creating the largest financial-news service and the first major rival to Bloomberg LP. [Reuters via CNNMoney] • Murdoch offered the Bancrofts a seat on the News Corp. board and asked to meet with the family personally. After an internal conference call, the Bancrofts seem unmoved. [NYT] • Ron Burkle bought the Primedia Enthusiast unit for $1.2 billion and now owns 70 titles like Dressage Today and Popular Hot Rodding. [NYP]

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Welcome, Topshop!

FASHION • It's official: Topshop is officially coming to New York. The Brit retailer is planning three outposts in Manhattan. [Racked] • Kate Moss reportedly saved Lily Allen from a beatdown at the Glastonbury festival. [Daily Mail] • Will Valentino finally choose a successor for his label? [British Vogue]

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Man the Buckets! Long Term Capital Is (Sort Of) Back!

FINANCE • Some of Long Term Capital's former executives are making another go of it with a new fund, Quantitative Alternatives. [Bloomberg via DealBook/NYT] • Morgan Stanley will pay $8 million to settle federal fraud charges over its alleged failure to get the best prices possible for retail stock investors. [AP via NYT] • The SEC will announce Monday whether it will appeal a court ruling that overturns the "Merrill Lynch" rule, allowing brokers to offer fee-based services to clients without being registered as financial advisers. [NYP]

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Advantage: Grasso

FINANCE • Richard Grasso may keep his money, after all. A New York State appeals court threw out four of the six claims filed against the former NYSE chair by the attorney general's office. [NYP] • Perella Weinberg may have missed out on advising the Ford family, but the firm finally got its first big deal with a lead role in Thomson's attempt to acquire Reuters. [DealBook/NYT] • The future of two Dow Chemical executives will be determined by testimony JPMorgan CEO James Dimon, who knows for sure if they spread rumors of a sale. [NYT]

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What Did the Editor Know, and When Did He Know It?

MEDIA:Wall Street Journal editor Paul Steiger opted to sit on the story of Rupert Murdoch's bid until it was broken by CNBC. But who else knew about the deal, and did they profit from the information? [NYT] • The Newseum will open in Washington in October. Exhibited artifacts will include Daniel Pearl's laptop and the slippers former blogger Ana Marie Cox wore while writing Wonkette. [NYT] • • If Thomson buys Reuters, Reuters's CEO would run the new financial-information company, to be called Thomson-Reuters.* [Reuters via Romenesko]

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Of Course Gordon Gekko Is a Hedge-Fund Manager

FINANCE • Gordon Gekko is back! Michael Douglas will reprise his Oscar-winning Wall Street role, only this time as a hedge-fund magnate. [NYT] • James Simons tops a list of Wall Street's highest earners. [Forbes] • Two of Rudy Giuliani's firms represented both a creditor and a debtor in a bankruptcy case, a possible conflict of interest that was not disclosed to the judge. [WSJ]

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Hedge-Fund Managers Can't Get Over Aerosmith

FINANCE • At this year's 2007 Robin Hood benefit, philanthropic hedge funders paid $400,000 to sing a song with Aerosmith, and $1.3 million for dinner with Mario Batali. [NYT] • Hafiz Naseem, a junior investment banker at Credit Suisse, was charged with insider trading after he tipped off associates in Pakistan about deals, including the TXU buyout, before they were made public. [NYT] • Google is the No.1 preferred employer for MBA students, with more traditional companies McKinsey and Goldman taking the next two slots. [Fortune via CNNMoney]

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Welcome, Hedge-Fund Backlash!

FINANCE • Not all hedge funds are profitable. UBS is closing its fund, Dillon Read Capital Management, after a loss of $124 million in the first quarter. [Reuters via NYT] • Ken Moelis, who is leaving as UBS's investment banking president in June, is trying to staff his boutique investment bank with former colleagues like Navid Mahmoodzadegan and Warren Woo. [Deal Journal/WSJ] • The New York Fed warns that the current hedge-fund climate puts the economy at risk for a Long Term Capital–esque crisis. [DealBook/NYT]

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Bancroft Family Divided Over Dow Jones Bid

MEDIA • A Bancroft spokesman said family members who hold slightly more than 50 percent of voting shares will oppose News Corp.'s bid for Dow Jones. [NYT] • Don Imus hired a top-notch First Amendment attorney to see that he gets the $40 million left on his contract. [Fortune/CNNMoney] • Former Newsweek Interactive head Mark Whitaker will oversee TV programming and Web content at NBC News. [WWD]

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Today in Legal Proceedings: Braunstein and Lidle and Miss America, Oh, My!

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In the criminal-justice system, as you know, the people are represented by two separate but equally important groups: the police, who investigate the crimes, and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders. Then there are the shyster defense lawyers, who try to convince juries that deranged and confessed torturers should get off; NTSB air-safety boards, who can't quite figure out who was flying the plane that crashed into the buildings; and Miss America, who entraps sexual predators. Yesterday was a busy day for all of them, and these are their stories. Da-dum.

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