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Know Your Jonas Brothers Overlords

If the Jonas Brothers are, as we suspect, about to take over the entire world, it would behoove you to meet your tyrannous overlords before you're forced to kneel at their bejeweled feet.

Heather Mills Blows Her Stash on Vegan Shoes

If you won $48.6 million in your divorce settlement from Paul McCartney, what would you spend it on? We'd probably make like Heather Mills and start by blowing some of the stash on shoes. But we're not vegans like Mills.

What Does Not Kill CNBC Makes It Stronger

It's hard to pick just one beautiful moment from today's rollickingly emotional story about CNBC's success, despite, or perhaps because of, the introduction of Rupert Murdoch's rival Fox Business Network. But pick one we did.

Spitzer’s Mind Reading ‘Reading Spitzer’s Mind’

Pompeo
Hey, look, a novelty column in the Daily News, written as if the columnist were inside my head. Michael Goodwin’s the author. Don’t like the look on him. He’s probably 80 by now. These things always come with a photo of the author from 30 years ago. I’ve seen Mort Zuckerman in real life. Please. I see what he’s going for there. “Reporters write vicious lies about me, then parrot them to the gullible public and ask what they think. The polls just say what the reporters want them to say.” Well, yeah. Except I wouldn’t have phrased it like this. I actually know things about polling methodology and rating bias and the 95 percent confidence level and the like. I went to Princeton and Harvard. This banner ad — can I make it stop moving?

Riding the V Line: The King of Cuban Sandwiches

Night on Broadway in Woodside is electric: Trains rumble overhead, a hundred dialects of Spanish are barked in the air, and the promise of everything from dance lessons to roasted guinea pig glares nightward out of neon signs. When we step off the V at 65th Street, though, we somehow never find ourselves tempted by all that novelty. What we want is the undisputed classic, the El Sitio Cubano sandwich, the patriarch of its race. It’s just a few steps from the train to the counter, but even those are too many.

Al Gore Sets His Sights on NYC, a Milk Shake

Gore
Al Gore's Generation Investment Management, the London-based securities firm he runs with former Goldman vet David Blood, is moving its American headquarters up from Washington D.C. to the Bank of America Tower at One Bryant Park. “It’s just a decision that we’ve taken lately that the very best place for us to be positioned for our clients and our business is New York City,” Peter Knight, the company's president of American operations, tells the Observer. The building is sustainable — it expects to receive certification from the US Green Building Council when it opens in May — making it a natural for the firm, which combines securities analysis with research into issues like climate change. But we have to admit we're a little worried about one thing: Is it going to be good for Gore to be so close to the tempting yet calorific delights of the 'Wichcraft creamery? Al Gore Moving Into Douglas Durst's One Bryant Park [NYO]

Ellen Pompeo Weds at City Hall, Cheers Up Knicks Fans

Pompeo
Grey's Anatomy star Ellen Pompeo got married, shotgunNew York style! The smoky actress secretly tied the knot with her longtime beau Chris Ivery in City Hall on Friday. Despite the fact that both of their hometowns are in the Boston area, the pair opted for a simple ceremony witnessed by Mayor Bloomberg himself. "They are over the moon," Pompeo's spokeswoman, Jennifer Allen, told the Boston Globe. Last month Pompeo told People that she hadn't started planning, despite the fact that she'd been engaged to Ivery for over a year, so this may have been a spur-of-the-moment thing. While they were here, the newlyweds snagged courtside seats at Sunday's Knicks game. How cute! At least there was one functional relationship down there that fans could root for. 'Grey's' Pompeo quietly ties knot in Big Apple [Boston Globe]

Cold War: Yolato Now, Red Mango in December, and MySpace Forever

When we mentioned that a new Yolato store is opening today, we wondered when exactly the Red Mango would open across from Pinkberry on Bleecker Street. Now a rep tells us it probably won’t be till mid-December, with stores to follow in Chelsea (63 W. 14th St.), the theater district (723 Eighth Ave.) and Flushing (136-53 Roosevelt Ave). [Ed: Disclaimer — what follows is where we start to lose it a little bit.]