Eliot Spitzer's New Year's Day inauguration will feature James Brown and Natalie Merchant but not Alan Hevesi. Yes, Beyoncé threw Jay-Z a big birthday party in St. Barts. No, they're not getting married, at least according to Rush & Molloy. John Kerry threw a dinner party for Democratic donors at his Georgetown home, at which he may or may not have shilled for his party's 2008 nomination. Paris Hilton may be engaged to "student" Stavros Niarchos. Tinsley Mortimer's sister-in-law is getting married to the director of Syriana. The reigning Miss Universe, also Miss Puerto Rico, is dating a fellow Puerto Rican. Mandy Moore had dinner with former flame Wilmer Valderrama. The director of scary when-scuba-goes-bad flick Open Water is set to direct another movie about sharks. A lot of people went to go see Annie at Madison Square Garden, and not everyone got in on time. Celebs donate time, company to an auction run by Martin Luther King Jr.'s eldest son. Colin Firth is a picky eater. Lindsay Lohan's former assistant, now Jessica Biel's assistant, was the subject of much of Lohan's vitriol in the rambling e-mail she wrote two days ago. Eddie Murphy and his ex–Spice Girl ex-girlfriend continue to disagree over whether Eddie is the father of her baby, according to "Page Six." (The News has this Murphy-Spice "exclusive," too, worded the exact same way.) Britney Spears bought expensive lingerie, Dakota Fanning bought a dog, and Courtney Love is moving to London. Liz Smith claims John Stamos will be on an upcoming season of Dancing With the Stars, based on his affinity for tango. Molly Sims got stung by a bee in Hawaii.
Lindsay Lohan wrote a long and incoherent e-mail, which for some reason referenced Al Gore and Bill Clinton. Amy Sacco says she's actually not selling Bungalow 8, the Observer's reporting to the contrary notwithstanding. (Daily Intel readers already knew that.) Mary-Louise Parker may be dating her Weeds co-star Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Pataki consigliere Charles Gargano says he'll keep his seat on the Port Authority board, even with his man gone from Albany. Frustrated Knicks fans, here's your chance to vent: Garden chief Jim Dolan is performing with his band tonight at B.B. King's. (It is, however, a cancer benefit, so don't be too mean.) Paramount/Dreamworks execs are pushing Beyoncé over Jennifer Hudson for a Best Actress Oscar nod, and Jennifer Hudson is okay with it. Lenny Kravitz went to the dermatologist. Anna Wintour found The Devil Wears Prada "entertaining" and has had the same haircut since she was 15, she tells Barbara Walters during her "10 Most Fascinating People" interview (in which Wintour actually does wear Prada). TomKat didn't invite Oprah to their wedding, and they didn't invite her to their post-honeymoon bash, either. Kevin Federline showed up at a book reading for the free booze. Jordan's Queen Rania and King Abdullah are on the rocks. Damon Wayans was fined $320 for dropping the n-word sixteen times at L.A.'s Laugh Factory. Jessica Alba and the Duff sisters are hosting a New Year's Eve party at a club in Miami and are doing it for free. Ellen Pompeo wants to gain five to ten pounds, because they'd go straight to her boobs, she told Playboy. Robert Evans is suing the electrical company that installed a screening room in his home that mysteriously burned down. Liz Smith cried at the end of Dakota Fanning'sCharlotte's Web.
Rush and Molloy let you write your own Lindsay Lohan item. Larry King used to gamble, owes a lot of people in Miami money, according to a new book. Art-mag publisher Louise MacBain has not yet made her annual $50,000 donation to the Watermill Foundation. Richie Rich's new boyfriend is causing trouble for Heatherette staffers. Paris Hilton dropped her best friend Kim Kardashian because Kim was getting too popular. Lydia Hearst threw an award statue into the crowd at the Paper magazine Nightlife Awards, because Moby told her to. Jennifer Connelly gained some perspective shooting Blood Diamond in Africa. Before arriving at the Casino Royale premiere attended by Queen Elizabeth, VIPs had to memorize a pamphlet on royal protocol. The cover of Vanity Fair's "Hollywood" issue feature Brits Kate Winslet and Helen Mirren but not Cate Blanchett. Newly single Kid Rock may be back with his ex-girlfriend. Drew Barrymore still wears Uggs. Cindy Adams loves Will Smith's new movie, does not love Mel Gibson's. A mausoleum for Fidel Castro is being built on a mountaintop in Cuba. Former Facts of Life star Kim Fields is preggers. Joan Collins loves to sign autographs for fans, despite a recent "Page Six" item to the contrary. A kosher steakhouse opened in L.A.; Mel Gibson and Michael Richards have yet to dine there.
Lindsay Lohan flipped out at a GQ-sponsored dinner because she was seated next to Jessica Biel's assistant — who used to work for Lindsay. (Related: Lohan has merely been in three car accidents, not four). Russell Crowe was dumped by his publicist, may have done something to warrant a late-night trip to a Santa Fe emergency room. Jay McInerney and Anne Hearst eloped, to honeymoon in the same spot that TomKat did. 60 Minutes to run more stories from other reporters (including A-Coop) to fill Ed Bradley's slots. Bill O'Reilly will host an anti-immigration fund-raiser in Soho. Donny Deutsch will have a baby Deutsch. Michael Richards isn't technically a member of the tribe, though he does like to think of himself as one. (Actually, he's a Freemason!) Tony Parker and Eva Longoria got engaged. D'you hear? The founders of Spy have a book out. The chairman of Walt Disney Studios got a cheap laugh at a media conference making a joke about the Post, the Post reports. The Bachelor took the woman who won his heart for burgers at P.J. Clarke's. Sheryl Crow is the new face of Revlon. Chazz Palminteri, of A Bronx Tale fame, is trying to bring his cabaret show to Broadway. Donald Trump Jr. spent more than $3,000 on a crib.
Suge Knight on Snoop Dogg (who was arrested again Tuesday, this time with drugs and a gun in his possession): "He's a rat. I don't like rats." Al Gore on Britney Spears's refusal to wear underwear: "No comment." Kelis on why gay men love her: "I'm like a gay man's purse." Candace Bushnell says Jay McInerney is very serious about sex. 50 Cent thinks Oprah caters to middle-aged white American women because "she's become one herself." Gambling-minded investors want to take over New York's racetracks; horse purists aren't happy. Lindsay Lohan has been attending AA meetings in Los Angeles. For exhaustion, of course. Andrew Cuomo forced two of his campaign operatives to pull out of a panel on politics. Naomi Campbell was going to be in a movie, but she made too many demands. Fabian Basabe avoided Amy Sacco recently because he's suing her. Danny Meyer to open a Union Square Cafe in Tokyo. Sean Connery stood to make almost half a billion dollars from the Lord of the Rings trilogy, but he declined to play Gandalf. A month ago, Kid Rock went to a strip club, drank a lot. Matt Lauer held a door open for a woman with a stroller. Julianne Moore is so nervous about the opening of her new play she can't eat. Michael Jackson watched the new Bond flick in his hotel room.
News execs are desperate to get O.J. Simpson to do a primetime interview about his canceled primetime interview with Judith Regan, his lawyer says. Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are breaking up over, um, Borat. Really. Owen Wilson was diamond-ring shopping. Quoth Britney Spears: "I gave birth for 2 1/2 years, and now I want to party" (with Paris Hilton, no less). In other Hilton news, Lindsay Lohan is mad at rumors that Paris dumped a drink on her, despite the fact that she's the one who spread them. Despite the hype, Bobby didn't do so well at the box office over Thanksgiving. Jay McInerney offers Dan Aykroyd wine advice; Aykroyd to sing at McInerney's wedding in return. Longtime Brooklyn lovebirds Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger might soon be getting married. Who will be the 2006 "Media Person of the Year"? (Our money's on Stephen Colbert.) Former Post editor-in-chief Ken Chandler to quit the newspaper biz and get into consulting. The lovely folks of Darien, Connecticut, bid on a bunch of stuff from Moby's youth at an estate sale. Busta Rhymes booked a hotel room in Miami, was a no-show. Derek Jeter is still hitting on Jessica Biel; Jay-Z is still hating on Cristal. Cindy Adams's criticism of the new Bond flick: The first ten minutes are "unrelenting shoot-em-up" (uh, Cindy, it's a James Bond movie). Also, Adams is the only person in the world who doesn't find Daniel Craig sexy. Kiefer Sutherland's kill-count on 24 last season: 38.
Was Heather Mills — Paul McCartney's one-legged ex-wife-to-be — once a high-priced hooker? She says no, an alleged client says yes. Ron Perelman and Tory Burch are dating, but not exclusively. Chris Cornell's stalker may be British, which may be a problem if he goes to London for the new Bond movie premiere. Paris Hilton is also in London but, oddly enough, not staying at the Hilton. Calvin Klein's daughter just sold an apartment for a lot of money; she bought a new one for slightly more. Katie Holmes declines a possible Oscar nod for her role in Thank You for Smoking, presumably because Tom told her to. By the way, they're getting married soon, and not even Liz Smith is invited. Queen Latifah got into a tiff with Law & Order's Billy Burns at an airport, unless she didn't. Jude Law and Sienna Miller split yet again, but this time Jude did the dumping. Peter Cook and Christie Brinkley finally agree on visitation rights for their kids. Eddie Murphy's sweetie, the artist formerly known as Scary Spice, is pregnant, and he's still going out on dates with other women. Naomi Campbell (accidentally) hits someone with her purse. Oprah's non-lesbian lover, Gayle King, told Will Smith she was married to a cheater. Sayeth Lindsay Lohan: "I feel like I've lived five lives and I'm only 20."
Tom Ford doesn't wear underwear. Foxy Brown may get dropped from Def Jam, though this would come as news to her. Former flames Derek Jeter and Mariah Carey are set to meet this Friday, and it could be awkward. Chelsea Clinton recently got a job at a hedge fund, and her boyfriend may be her stockbroker. Is the Times playing favorites with suspended reporter Lola Ogunnaike and op-ed columnist Maureen Dowd? "Page Six", ironically, lectures a company about freebies. (Also, it turns out Harvey Weinstein didn't actually "swig" champagne on Halloween, as the "Six"ers reported. And that the "stripper" he was chatting up was actually Margherita Missoni. Whoops.) Ron Perelman is now dating designer Tory Burch, though she's yet to finalize her divorce. Former Martha Stewart broker Peter Bacanovic tried to avoid getting his picture taken, failed. Lauren Bacall was denied backstage entry at the Metropolitan Opera. Guitarist Al Di Meola is a bad father. Tara Reid was drunk, again. A politician cheated on his wife in Albany, a married director got another woman pregnant, and the daughter of a retired news anchor got busy with a female fashion designer in a car, though names aren't named. Joshua Jackson defended Lindsay Lohan. And her dad, who has thus far been unable to help himself, wants to write a self-help book.