Maddox, ActuallySpencer Morgan, Maddox Jolie’s erstwhile biographer, reports in today’s Observer that after only six weeks, “Mad” has left the Lycée Français. No, he wasn’t driven out by the hordes of camera-clutching Upper East Side parents or kicked out because he was crappy at French or even trying to escape the unrelenting pen of modelizer turned kiderazzi Morgan. He’s just going along with the rest of his family to L.A. while Angelina films The Changeling, and it’s looking like they may not be back. The Brangelinas were supposedly about to take residence in the Waldorf Tower, but would they really pay $100,000 a month if they’re not actually living there? Well, actually maybe yes. BBut is it possible that Jennifer Aniston saying she was thinking about moving back east caused them to flee back to California? We’d say also probably yes. But most important, won’t his girlfriend’s heart be broken? It’ll be just like that scene in Love, Actually! Except maybe not. “At this age,” the Observer’s “exclusive” Maddox source tells them, “the girls and boys don’t really care about each other.” That’s not age, lady. That’s just Hollywood.
Au Revoir, Mon Maddox! [NYO]
Inside Pitt-Jolie’s Reported NYC Pad [ABC]
Earlier: Daily Intel’s Coverage of Maddox Jolie
in other news
Maddox’s First Crush: The Apex or Nadir of Celebrity Journalism?The inevitable first story about 5-year-old Maddox Jolie-Pitt’s love life has arrived, even earlier than we would have expected. This upcoming issue of OK! Magazine will report that on September 25, the Cambodian cherub returned home from school at the Lycée Français, all atwitter with new emotions. “Mad was really excited and talking very fast in French,” a source told the magazine, in direct contradiction to what we’ve previously heard about Maddox’s weak language skills. The girl in question “had brown eyes and wore yellow and navy ribbons in her brown hair.” Now that’s just creepy, source.
in other news
Breaking: Maddox Jolie-Pitt Acts Like a 5-Year-OldThis week, the Observer shifts scruffy “Transom” reporter Spencer Morgan off the model beat and onto the weighty business of celebustalking children. Morgan dryly documents the discord Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have wrought at their son Maddox’s Upper East Side school, the Lycée Français (the principal sent a letter home to families! Some parents scream Angelina and Brad’s names to get their attention!). Way at the bottom of the story, we learn from a school source that 5-year-old Maddox’s “French is pretty minimal.” We also learn that “he’s always smiling,” except when once asked to bring in a picture of himself, at which point he “started crying.” We can’t help but think back to something Mary-Kate Olsen told New York after dropping out of NYU. She’d noticed that students in her class were selling stories about her to the tabloids and concluded, “Learning is not fun if you’re not safe.” We’d like for you to ponder that point for a moment, while we go pay off the preschooler who sold us the above photo.
Zut Alors! Monsieur Maddox Jolie-Pitt Begins Kindergarten, And Lycée Parents Lose It [NYO]
in other news
Brangelina to Occupy New York, City’s Diversity UnaffectedOh yes! Oh no! Oh yes! Oh no! Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and their United Colors of Benetton brood are moving to New York City. “Page Six” reports that the family has been spending a lot of time at Angelina’s Upper West Side condo lately, and that they’ve enrolled their eldest son Maddox at the Lycee Francais. The Tomb Raider star has long said she likes to move the kids around to avoid the media attention, but we’ve always wondered — don’t they need other friends? It’s all well and good to hang out with movie stars all the time, but at some point, someone is going to need to beat the hell out of Maddox (for that G-D mohawk) or else he’s going to be warped for life. Hopefully, for his sake, they’ll stick around for a while. For our sake, well, we’re not sure how to feel. The last time we were so conflicted over a piece of news, it was when Heidi and Spencer got engaged on The Hills, which was like two weeks ago so apparently we confound easily.
Brangelinas Kids Go French [NYP]