Kicks this spring seem crazier than ever before. And although we can appreciate the artistic value of such gorgeous, creative footwear, we suppose it wouldn't hurt to have some — sigh — male insight here and there.
Okay, so we know everybody's been skeptical of the much-touted love affair between Carrie Underwood and Chace Crawford (have they ever been seen together more than twice?). But now that there might be another girl in the picture, we're a little bit worried. According to the blog Faded Youth (which must be reliable because it has pictures of Rumer Willis on it), Mary-Kate Olsen may have her eye on the sexy star of the Greatest Show of Our Time. She spent Wednesday evening chatting with him at the Waverly Inn and then met up with him later at Lit. It's probably nothing, but it still doesn't look good. Chace is all blue eyes and innocence and hairspray. If he starts dating M-K, suddenly he's going to be unshaven and haggard, wandering the streets clutching grande latte in a paper cup and looking sweaty. And then he might do something awful like get stolen by Paris Hilton and move to L.A. to go to places like Hyde and start hanging out with Wilmer Valderamma. Or worse. Don't do it, Chace! We promise we'll start believing in your relationship with Carrie Underwood. Everyone, believe with us. Clap! For the love of God, start clapping!
Is MK Chasing Chace? [Faded Youth]
Earlier:The Fug Girls: Introducing the Good BoyREAD MORE »
On Wednesday night, Lindsay Lohan was snapped wearing shiny black leggings, and earlier this week Rihanna created a fuss when images of her running around Paris during Fashion Week in similar trousers surfaced. The look didn't do either starlet any favors, since the key to pulling off the super-tight leather pants look is ensuring you have the actual pants.
Spotted all over Paris (and on blogs galore): Mary-Kate Olsen in a gold-studded jacket that unquestionably weighed more than she did. Who ever was responsible for this most glorious piece of armor?, we wondered. And where the hell can we get it? After some digging and a few furious phone calls by the folks at Jeffrey, we hit pay dirt: It's Givenchy! Hallelujah! Ricardo Tisci, you are a genius! Get us to Barneys!
They say everyone has a book in them, and so it comes as no surprise that the Olsen twins have finally decided to put quill to paper and distill the full breadth of their life experience. Influence which will be edited by 'mocialite Derek Blasberg and published by Penguin's young-adult-oriented Razorbill imprint in the fall, will take a look at the artists and fashion designers who, according to People, have "inspired the savvy fashionistas over the past decade" — you know, since they were 11 — as well as a compendium of "exclusive" photographs of Ashley and Mary-Kate, along with other materials and interviews from the twins "personal collections." We're kind of expecting it will be something like Susan Sontag's Against Interpretation meets Paris Hilton's Confessions of an Heiress. We can't wait for book club!
Olsen Twins Becoming Authors [People]
Related: Ashley Olsen Speaks and She's a Savvy Fashion Designer [Cut]
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Ashley Olsen promoted the fall '08 collection of her and Mary-Kate's clothing line the Row by appearing at a boutique in Dallas yesterday. Journalists were asked not to interview her, but being infinitely generous, she chatted them up anyway.
An autopsy on the body of real-estate broker Linda Stein, who was allegedly killed by her assistant Natavia Lowery at the end of October, has revealed that there was no marijuana in her system at the time of her death. This rips a hole in Lowery's defense strategy, as she has claimed she was driven into a rage after Stein yelled at her and repeatedly blew marijuana smoke into her face. It was that incensed rage, Lowery said, that led her to shatter Stein's skull with a yoga bar. But police sources told the Post that even a small amount of marijuana would have showed up in her system, and the toxicological tests on Stein's body, completed last week, revealed nothing. (Lawyers for Lowery say that she "made things up to get out of the interrogation room," including the marijuana-smoke story, and even the murder confession.) This is good news for prosecutors, who are trying to build up a narrative that Lowery had been using her boss' credit cards and bank accounts and killed her when she was caught. But it raises the question: Why did it take over three months for toxicology reports to come in on her death and just ten days for Heath Ledger's? Not that we're surprised that his got rushed through after all the public scrutiny, but that's an awfully big time difference. We fully expect an offensive Sean Delonas cartoon about this matter in "Page Six" tomorrow, most likely involving some bodyguards pushing around some wimpy gay forensic scientists, at the orders of a skeletal Mary-Kate Olsen.
SLAY EXCUSE BLOWN [NYP]
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• Britney Spears looks great on the new cover of Blender — too bad it's not her body. [Radar]
• Stephen Chao, the former News Corp. exec who lost his job after hiring a male stripper for a company party and almost drowning Rupert Murdoch's dog, announced a new Website for how-to videos. First video: how to get fired in two easy steps. [NYT]
• Now that Judith Regan's settled her suit with Murdoch, will she give her winnings — likely north of $6.5 million — to charity like she once promised? [Mixed Media/Portfolio]
We are still several days away from finding out results of the toxicology reports being done on Heath Ledger's body, but the New York Post is still having trouble with the fact that, as yet, there is no one to blame. Last week, we were surprised at all of the heat they brought on Mary-Kate Olsen. They put her face on the cover and claimed she was to be questioned by police (they stand by the story, but cops are now saying they won't be speaking with the actress). Olsen is involved, as even your golden retriever must know by now, because the masseuse who found Ledger's body mysteriously called her before calling 911. Olsen sent in her bodyguards rather than calling the police. After we and other Websites like Gawker.com pointed out the contradiction between the paper's story and what police were saying, we were e-mailed with a blusterous comment from Post editor Col Allan, which implied that the police were "afraid" of Olsen and that's why they wouldn't question her. Then, they followed up on Saturday with a photo-free cover, which asked "WHY" the police weren't questioning Olsen. There was an interior editorial that day explaining that the tabloid was receiving "dark communications" from Olsen's lawyers, threatening them.
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Following our post this morning about how the Post's story on Mary-Kate Olsen being questioned by police turned out to be wrong, we just received this statement from Post editor-in-chief Col Allan, via e-mail:
We confirmed this story last night with an impeccable source inside the NYPD and we stand by our reporting. Almost immediately after the tragic passing of Mr. Ledger, Ms. Olsen’s attorneys began emailing us threatening letters. As has been well reported, there were a number of calls to Ms. Olsen from the masseuse before the NYPD arrived on the scene. We would find it strange if Ms. Olsen were not questioned at all. The New York Post will not be pressured and we find it odd that the chiefs at the NYPD appear to be terrified of 4-foot-11 inch, 90-pound Mary Kate Olsen.
We'll admit it: When we saw the cover of the Post today, we felt a little bad for Mary-Kate Olsen. Sure, it was weird that she didn't tell her masseuse to call 911 immediately after the employee found Heath Ledger's dead body, but everything happened quickly, and she did try to help. Why was it suddenly her responsibility to take care of things? She's only 13 years old for Pete's sake. The "HEAT IS ON MARY KATE" headline, followed by the "Cops to grill her in death" kicker, seemed a little aggressive. And, we've just found out, it's not even true. Both Us Weekly and TMZ.com are reporting that Mary-Kate will not be questioned. "We have absolutely no interest in talking to Mary-Kate," a police source explained today. Now, if you look closely at the Post story, buried at the bottom, another cop source said the same thing. "Law enforcement sources last night said they did not think there was anything suspicious about either [the masseuse's] or Olsen's conduct," their story said. So the heat, technically, was not on her at any time. Except, of course, from the Post.
Police Source: Mary-Kate Olsen Will Not Be Grilled Over Heath Ledger Calls [Us Weekly]
Mary-Kate Story Bogus [TMZ.com]
MARY KATE OLSEN ON THE HOT SEAT [NYP]
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Recently, we were watching John Waters's 1998 movie Pecker, which starred all kinds of great people like Martha Plimpton and Lily Taylor and Edward Furlong, before he got weird and started getting arrested and dating his manager. Anyway, as in all John Waters movies, there were about five really brilliantly funny parts in it, one of which was a game the characters played called "Shopping for Others," in which they'd go to the supermarket and sneak things into the shopping carts of fellow shoppers when they weren't looking. (Like a long phallic gourd in the cart of a mousy single woman or a stack of Depends for a smarmy dude in tight jeans, etc.) Anyway, we got to thinking: How about if, this year, we make New Year's resolutions for others? We've never made New Year's resolutions ourselves — it's weird, every year New Year's Eve rolls around, and we realize we're still kind of perfect! — but we've always felt we were missing out on that great American tradition. Not to mention, frankly, there are people that could use our assistance. So. To celebrate the great New Yorkers who make this blog possible and to help them continue their gloriousness into 2008, we've generously ginned up some resolutions for their benefit.
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Now, everyone knows how we love the Olsen family, so it pains our heart to do this, but we really have to recommend that everybody go over to the PETA Website and play their Dress Up the Trollsens game. See, that's the new nickname they have for Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. You can go on their site and dress "Hairy Kate" and "Trashley," who begin the game naked, in what we can only assume is the makeup they used during their auditions to be extras in I Am Legend. In their closet, you'll see items like a "Choked Chinchilla Cap" and a "Mauled Mink Shaw" (the "Dead Doggie Shoulder Bag" and "Kitten-Trimmed Mittens," we must say, are a stretch, even for PETA). The creepiest part isn't the bloody clothing, nor is it the fact that both twins have the same naked body-warts that plague Mr. Burns on The Simpsons. It's that their giant dead eyes follow your cursor as it moves around their bodies and does whatever it wants. They just dully regard you with a silent mix of sneering disdain and mild terror. For anyone who has ever had a fantasy about having sex with either of them, that should just about cure it. Because we're no Lance Armstrong, but we suspect that in real life, that's exactly how it goes.
Dress Up The Trollsens [PETA]
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Jessica Simpson got totally pissed at Eva Longoria for hanging out with her ex John Mayer at GoldBar. MSNBC pundit Lawrence O'Donnell, who plays a lawyer on Big Love, bashed Mormonism on The McLaughlin Group on Sunday. Richard Belzer says he's "hurt" his role on Law & Order: SVU has been cut back. PETA has dubbed the Olsen twins the "Trollsen Twins" because of their affinity for fur. Among the items in J.Lo's gift registry for her twins are a Balmoral enameled black carriage for a $3,495 and a $289 suede play mat.
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Scene: The Olsen Family Compound, Sherman Oaks, California. The camera pans a table set with linen and crystal and steaming tureens, around which several members of the Olsen family are seated. Their eyes are closed and their heads are bowed in prayer, except for Ashley Olsen, who is sitting on Lance Armstrong's lap. The Olsens' mother, Jarnette, begins her holiday prayer.Jarnette: Let us give thanks today for all of the food in front of us, the roof over our heads, and all of the opportunities given to us.
Lesser Olsens 1 & 2: [In unison.] Thank you, Mary-Kate and Ashley.
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