‘Happy Is the Lawyer Who Dwelleth in the House of Unroch’s Blog’You remember William Unroch. He’s the lawyer representing possible transsexual Maximilia Cordero in her lawsuits against Jeffrey Epstein and the Post; a blogger; a sometime Daily Intel correspondent; and a genuine crazy person. William read our post earlier on the Wall Street Journal’s story about the large percentage of lawyers who suffer from depression and the Websites that have sprung up to help them, and he decided to put his two cents in on the subject.
Lawyers are Sad because they do not read Unroch’s blog The Spirit World (you known the site). Guilt and misery are common byproducts of most lawyers. Vicious is as vicious does. The Spirit world will cleanse them. Happy is the lawyer who dwelleth in the house of Unroch’s blog.
Hm. Actually, lawyers are depressed because they have insane billable-hour quotas and are constantly fighting with people. That said: Unroch’s musings on “dead pig vapor,” “Devil Midgets,” and Mike Huckabee (“Sounds like a good guy. But does he accept the Space Pig?”) do make us smile. Happy holidays, lawyers!
William Unroch’s Blog [Attorneys NYC]
Earlier: Daily Intel’s coverage of William Unroch and Maximilia Cordero
in other news
Today in Unroch and Cordera: The Plot Thickens, and Will the Pants Come Off?Maximilia Cordero and William Unroch will not be stopped! As we mentioned yesterday, the model/Jeffery Epstein rape-accuser and her lawyer-boyfriend filed a defamation suit against the Post for a series of stories they say “paint an outrageous, false, and defamatory portrait of the victim plaintiff and her attorney as ‘money-seeking lawyers and their women.” Strangely absent from the complaint was a specific rebuttal to the Post’s allegation that Maximilia was actually born a man, which the twosome had previously denied. Therefore, we assumed that Maximilia was indeed a man and was getting to be okay with that. However! Speaking about her lawsuit to the Daily News’ “Rush and Molloy” this morning, the lady again denied she was a dude: “They put in vicious lies — that I’m a man, that I’m on hormone therapy, that I’ve had cosmetic surgery,” she said. Now, Above the Law has a birth certificate up on their site for a Maximilia Josephine Cordero, born in 1983. It looks kind of fake, but note the two masculine-ish names! Man? Not a man? What? “If the judge orders her to pull her pants down, [the gender question] will be answered very quickly,” Unroch told the News. The way this has all been snowballing, we queasily expect photos of Cordero’s mystery genitals to appear on Radar within the week.
Rush and Molloy [NYDN]
Maximilia Cordero: Maybe Not a Man? [Above the Law]
intel
William Unroch and Maximilia Cordero Take On the ‘Post,’ AustraliaBack in October, we delighted in the rococo law filings filed by William J. Unroch, Esq., on behalf of his client and maybe-girlfriend, Maximilia “Ava” Cordero, a self-described model who claimed that at 16, she was molested by billionaire finance guy Jeffrey Epstein. (“Epstein suddenly went into the bathroom and came out several minutes later wearing red lipstick and wearing a matted red wig,” read a portion of her suit. “He said to plaintiff ‘Call me Janice.’”) Then the Post discovered that Maximilia was actually very probably a dude, which made everything even more interesting. “Gender-Bend Shocker!” they said. “Kinky-Sex Suit Gal Is a Man!” But apparently Unroch was not as amused as we are, because now he and Maximilia are suing News Corp., the Post’s parent company, for $100 million dollars. The complaint, which paints a picture of a fragile girl-man, besieged by a billionaire, an “unsuccessful dominatrix,” a publicist, and a conspiratorial news organization headed by a gang of reporters, names a number of Post writers and editors, reserving particular ire for Post reporter Lucy Carne, who according to Unroch, refused to print a retraction to a detail she knew to be false, reportedly telling him: “My father is the biggest lawyer in Brisbane, Australia.” “While perhaps your boss the Australian Media tycoon Rupert Murdoch is impressed with your dad’s legal skills and perhaps uses him as an attorney,” Unroch sniped back, he says. “It is irrelevant to this matter unless I am missing something.”
Earlier: Daily Intel’s coverage of William J. Unroch and Maximilia Cordero
in other news
‘Post’ Grabs a Towel in Preparation for Epstein Trial Jeffrey Epstein, the billionaire and friend of Clinton who was charged last year with paying teenage girls to massage him while he jerked off into a towel at his pink Palm Beach mansion, has decided not to plead guilty, the Post reports today; he’ll take his chances with a jury. Reporting this must have been bittersweet for the Post, because they’ve been insisting for months that Epstein had taken or was literally on the verge of any minute taking a plea deal. But then we expect they are waiting with baited breath for all the lurid details of the trial to come out. As are we! In fact, with the expectation that all the stories we’ve heard in the months since the allegations first came to light are going to be rehashed in the trial, which the Post says is scheduled for January, we’re going to repeat one of our favorite bits from the recent lawsuit filed lawyer extraordinaire William Unroch on behalf of his ex-lover, transgender kinda-model Maximilia Cordera:
[Epstein] suddenly went into the bathroom and came out several minutes later wearing red lipstick and wearing a matted red wig. He said to plaintiff “Call me Janice.”
That is all. Good day!
‘Perv’ Nixes Deal [NYP]
Earlier: Intel’s coverage of Jeffrey Epstein
intel
Amazingly, Jeffrey Epstein Sex Suit Gets Even More InsaneThe news this morning that Jeffrey Epstein accuser and tranny Maximilia Cordero filed a similar suit against another older man for making her his underage “sex slave” back in 2002 prompted William Unroch, Cordero’s lawyer-boyfriend, to send Daily Intel yet another missive, complaining about how the Post is choosing to “discredit this young woman” over focusing on the “child molester.” A copy of his revised complaint against Epstein was also attached. We’re not going to reprint it here, because for one it is really, really, really gross, but suffice it to say that if Unroch wants the focus shifted back to Epstein’s misdeeds, well, then, naming Victoria’s Secret and Limited Brands founder Leslie Wexner as a defendant because the company “knowingly allowed the defendant Epstein to use the glamour and lure of their names to harass and trap young models and teenage girls in performing sex acts with defendant Epstein” and sprinkling your complaint with colorful scenarios like “plaintiff told defendant Epstein ‘I’m Old Yella’ and began barking like a dog” and “Jeffrey Epstein went into the bathroom and came out several minutes later wearing red lipstick and wearing a matted red wig and said to plaintiff ‘Call me Janice’” is probably not the way to do it. It is, however, a good way to prove you are completely and fully batshit insane.
She (He) Has a History [NYP]
Earlier: Daily Intel’s Coverage of the Unroch-Epstien-Cordera Triangle
in other news
Maximilia Cordero Is a DudeMaximilia Cordero, the 23-year-old “model” who sued Jeffrey Epstein last week, claiming that he took advantage of her when she was 16, has turned out to be a dude. This morning’s Post reports that Maximilia was born Maximillian in 1983, but has been dressing up as a girl since the age of 12. Her MySpace profile, under the name Avarelle Cordera, says she is a 17-year-old model, “Oh and I’m a junk head (pills , designer substances and my fav disel) What girl in this indistry [sic] isn’t :)Just being honest:)”
“She’s female, and she’s always been a female,” her lawyer-boyfriend, noted philosopher and friend of Daily Intel William Unroch told the Post confidently. “I may also be a female. I’m checking with my doctors,” he said. Avarelle/Maximilia/Maximillian has also been known as Ava, or she was last year when Unroch sued one of his neighbors for saying he lived with an underage girl and made her “nervous” and fear for her kids. “She’s a nice young lady who is certainly not underage,” Unroch, 57, told the Post of “Ava” at the time. Well, one of those things is true!
Gender-Bend Shocker [NYP]
Avarelle Cordero [MySpace]
Earlier:Intel’s Coverage of Maximila Cordero
UPDATE: As an astute reader pointed out, that picture on her MySpace is actually Gia Carangi
intel
From the Desk of William J. UnrochThis morning we received an e-mail from our new favorite person, William J. Unroch. For those just tuning in, William is the lawyer representing the 23-year-old model who the other day filed a suit against banker and Clinton friend Jeffrey Epstein claiming he asked her to perform “bizarre” sex acts at the tender age of 16. It’s a curious case, not least because William, 57, is not only the plaintiff’s lawyer, but also her boyfriend. He’s also a modeling agent, a prolific blogger, and now, possibly, a healer? A modern Renaissance man!
intel
Deep Thoughts With William UnrochSo earlier Gawker followed up on our post about William Unroch, the lawyer who’s representing 23-year-old Maximilia Cordero against alleged underage-model sexer Jeffrey Epstein, and discovered that in addition to his Website, William has a fantastic blog, on which he talks about his two girlfriends — “wifey 2 who is 18 almost 19 requires lots of attention” and “wifey 1 who is 23 only requires money” ahem — and basically flamboyantly exhibits the fact that he has no credibility whatsoever. But he’s super entertaining! And so, to end the day, we’ll leave you with one of William Unroch’s Deep Thoughts.
Met 17 year old supermodel Laura in Riverside Park. She was incredibly awesome. I felt like Charlie Brown the first time he actually met the great pumpkin. This kid was more together in her little pinky than all the jewish housewifes in Long Island and maybe even Queens put together in one smoldering lump of dirty doo doo.
I can’t even think of anything nasty to say. Anyway this convinced me that the terror of the stinky middle aged girl friend(which I never had) is not the answer to Darfur or West End Avenue for that matter. Like the Bard said. “Truth is beauty, beauty truth. That’s all ye know on earth and all ye need to know.”
True that. Wait, huh?
William Unroch’s Blog
Earlier: William Unroch Should Totally Be on America’s Next Top Model
intel
William Unroch Should Totally Be on America’s Next Top ModelHappily, Maximillia Cordero, the 23-year-old model who filed a lawsuit against Jeffrey Epstein yesterday claiming he forced her to perform “bizarre and unnatural sex acts” back when she was 16, is in capable hands. Literally! It turns out the lawyer who filed the complaint, 57-year-old William Unroch, is also her boyfriend, and he’s as familiar with the shady modeling business as he is with the curve of a young woman’s thigh. How? He runs his own model-management service, with a special focus on helping out young, naïve girls who are thinking about moving to the city to start a modeling career, since, as he notes, “New York is also filled with aggressive people who often take advantage of weak-minded young people.” But luckily, William is there to help them with this most important step in their careers!
white men with money
Jeffrey Epstein Charged With Sensory As Well As Sex CrimesA 23-year-old model named Maximilia Cordero has filed suit against money manager Jeffrey Epstein. Her complaint, which is up on the Smoking Gun right now, alleges that as a 16-year-old, Cordero was not only sexually assaulted by the billionaire — who she says told her, “You have a tight butt like a baby” before coercing her to perform “bizarre and unnatural sex acts” — her senses were assaulted by the terrible décor in his Upper East Side mansion. “That defendant gave plaintiff a tour of his mansion, showing her a huge crystal staircase with a huge crystal ball by the railing, ceiling chandeliers, a lounge room with red chairs, a statute [sic] of a dog with a statute [sic] of dog feces next to it.” There are a few weird things about Cordero’s complaint — like the spelling issues and the fact that at 16 she was “known professionally as Ava” and also that crazy photo — but we do sort of understand why she’s saying her experiences at the mansion gave her “several mental disease and defect.” Design that bad could scar anybody for life.
Sex Suit Targets Pervy Financier [Smoking Gun]
Earlier: Daily Intel’s coverage of Jeffrey Epstein