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Buyout Exodus at ‘Newsweek’

A dating blogger seeks a book deal, trading desks think recession, and Jean Nouvel wins the Pritzker in our daily roundup of media, finance, law, and real-estate news.

Pop Quiz: Know Your Media Ladies

Yesterday and today, the Times profiled three women in media: Julia Allison, Arianna Huffington, and Lauren Zalaznick. Despite differences in their ages and careers, the three of them seem of a type.

Tomorrow's Journalism, Today!

Slate's literary editor Meghan O'Rourke is working on a story about Facebook status updates. Obviously, this information needs to be shared as a Facebook status update of her own!

L.A. ‘Times’ Duped on Tupac-Diddy Story

For all of you I Love the 90s fans who are heartsick for a little East Coast–West Coast rivalry, last week was a big one: The Los Angeles Times reported that the 1994 shooting of Tupac Shakur in the lobby of the Quad Recording Studios in midtown was carried out by associates of none other than Sean "Diddy" Combs, who knew about the whole thing beforehand.

PageSix.com, We Hardly Knew Ye

Why? Because people just weren't going. Oh, and something about the economy. Damn you, subprime crisis! You took away our Bear Stearns, and now you're taking away our Britney updates?

Jamie Dimon: ‘Many’ of Bear's 14,000 Employees Will Lose Jobs

Did Bear Stearns collapse in part because of a whisper campaign? How will Starbucks keep its customers if everyone starts pinching pennies? And what did Sarah Jessica Parker think of Maxim naming her the "unsexiest woman alive"? Our weekly roundup of law, media, and business news.

Anderson Cooper's Eyeball Issue Is Resolved

Manderson down! We repeat, Manderson down! It turns out our favorite well-biceped broadcaster has just undergone surgery to remove some sort of skin cancer from underneath his left eye.

Ad Hominem Attack on Mariah Carey in the ‘Daily News’

Dude, News editorial board, what's with this 63-word diatribe today?

Cultural note: We see that the warbler Mariah Carey, who has already tied Elvis Presley as the second-place holder of the most No. 1 records, will soon, if her new hit ditty goes to the top of the charts, tie the Beatles as the first-place holder of the most No. 1 records ever.
Man.
That's — that's just wrong.
On so many levels.
Why, exactly, is it wrong, you guys? Because you're a bunch of mostly white old people who don't understand R&B? If you'll recall, your parents thought Elvis and the Beatles were trashy, too. We won't defend Mariah Carey's cultural relevance in comparison to those musical giants — though we do love her. But from now on, you're no longer allowed to wonder why young people think your newspaper is irrelevant. Off the Charts [NYDN]

JPMorgan Gearing Up to Move Into Bear's Sweet HQ

FINANCE • JPMorgan Chase will probably move its investment-banking unit to Bear Stearns' smokin'-hot headquarters on Madison Avenue. The building is valued at $1.2 billion, which is just one-fourth of quadruple the price JPMorgan paid for the firm itself. [NYP] • JPMorgan Chase's valuation of Bear Stearns shows that financial institutions are significantly overvalued. Speaking of which, many employees had their life savings wiped out. [NYP, WSJ] • Meanwhile Goldman Sachs' earnings are down but beat analysts' expectations. [DealBook/NYT]

Ingrid Sischy and Sandra Brant to Helm ‘Vanity Fair’ Abroad

Ingrid Sischy Sandra Brant
Don't cry for Ingrid Sischy. After she abruptly departed her eighteen-year position as editor-in-chief of Interview magazine, and her girlfriend Sandra Brant (you remember her – she used to be married to Peter Brant) sold her half-ownership stake in the parent company Brant Publications, people were wondering what she was going to do with her life. After all, for nearly two decades her name was synonymous with Andy Warhol's gritty, authentic magazine. But it turns out she's had a great plan all along! Condé Nast HR mouthpiece WWD tells us that both Sischy and Brant will be international editors of Italian, Spanish, and German versions of Vanity Fair. And, what's more, they'll helm any future glamorous expansions abroad. Which is great news for them, probably, but it also raises the question: Is this the biggest lesbian sellout since Anne Heche ditched chicks? Sischy, Brant Join Vanity Fair International Editions [WWD]

‘Radar’ Hires Spencer Pratt to Dispense Advice, Wisdom

Spencer
Radar has hired Spencer Pratt, the blond, cherubic Hills star with a heart of darkness, as their new advice columnist. "Yo Spencer!," which will tackle "problems from hot girls to family affairs," will debut in the next issue. (A sneak preview of the first column, which answers questions about smelly co-workers, girls who like threesomes, and whether one should discourage one's brother from enlisting in the army, is after the jump.) "Spencer is never afraid to speak his mind," Radar editor-in-chief Maer Roshan says in the press release. "When asking for advice, it's good to have someone who will be brutally honest with you, and tell it like it is." Sure, because that worked out really well for Heidi. You can e-mail Spencer, or whoever's writing his column, about your problems at spencer@radaronline.com, though it might take him a while to get back to you, since we predict that mailbox will be full of "You're a douche bag" messages in, oh, ten to twenty minutes.

Line Between ‘Us Weekly’ and ‘Times Magazine’ Blurs

Times
Traditional news outlets have taken a lot of flack in recent years for trading "hard news" coverage of politics and current affairs for softer, celebrity-oriented stories. But who knew that the news media's oft-snubbed brethren, celebrity magazines, would step up to fill the void? For the past month or so, Us Weekly has done a number of stories on political figures, including an online interview with Barack Obama that caused the Website's traffic to spike to record highs. Naturally, they are eager to follow up this success, and this week, The New Yorker's Lizzie Widdicombe sat in on an editorial meeting with Us editor Janice Min and her team, where executive editor Catherine Romano came up with an idea for a story that combined celebrity with politics.
“There are a million people involved in the U.N.,” Romano said. “How about an activism story?” Michael Steele, an executive editor, asked, “Should we build our own fake U.N., with celebrity heads and titles?”
Great idea, right? In fact, it was so good that the multi-Pulitzer-winning New York Times Magazine did pretty much the exact same thing this past weekend. It's like Janice Min and Gerry Marzorati had total mind meld. The Fourth Estate: Just Like Us! [NYer] The Money Issue [NYT]

Another Sad Day for Schwarzman

FINANCE • Where has all of Steve Schwarzman's money gone? A report saying that his fund would earn less than half of what was predicted caused Blackstone's stock price to tumble. [NYP] • Former Countrywide Financial, Citigroup, and Merrill Lynch execs get ready to explain to Congress why they got huge paychecks as their shareholders lost billions. [DealBook/NYT] • Financier Carl Icahn ups his stake in Motorola. [DealBook/NYT]