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Mena Suvari

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Chloë Sevigny Down! We Repeat, Chloë Sevigny Down!

The indie actress is felled by a viral infection, Salman Rushdie would vote for Barack Obama, and writer Peter Davis cares too much about a socialite contest. All that and the rest of the gossip from New York's tabloids today.

Joe Bruno Remarkably Restrained in Press Conference

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Joe Bruno held a press conference just now, and it was well played. Despite the fact that Eliot Spitzer has basically been up until now his mortal enemy, he didn't rub it in that he was totally right when he told New York earlier this month that the governor was “two-faced. He does not tell the truth." Rather, wearing an expression of weary "I-don't-have-time-for-this-perv" resignation, he discussed the possible transition of David Paterson (with whom he has a "great relationship") into the position of governor and went out of his way to make the point that just because someone decided to defy Lord and country by sleeping with hookers doesn't mean that everyone else was going to stop doing their jobs. "There is no pleasure in what is going on in this state," he said. "This is a distraction of proportions we have never experienced. As for Eliot Spitzer, my heart goes out to his wife and his family. He must deal with his problems in his own way." Related: How Eliot Spitzer Finally Got Joe Bruno on the Ropes [NYM]

S.J.P. and M.B. Have a Spat on the C/E

Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Brokerick
Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker got into a fight on the platform of the downtown C/E train at 23rd Street. Alpha Media head Kent Brownridge married Hearst publicity head Alexandra Carlin at the Gordon Ramsay restaurant. Artie Lange tried unsuccessfully to get four Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders to disrobe on the Howard Stern show. A lot of foodies showed up at the preview of Alain Ducasse's wine-themed restaurant, Adour, in the St. Regis. Bruce Springsteen waited a half hour for a lunch table at the Turning Point in Long Branch. Cindy Adams says Heath Ledger once tried to avoid her by saying, "You people from the press are not nice to me," but that he smiled while saying it. Liz Smith approves of the fact that Jenna Bush is getting married in Crawford, Texas, and not the White House.

Samuel L. Jackson at a Motherfugging Y-3 Show

Thematically, the Y-3 show was all about the downpour: Fake thunder rolled, minions turned a hose on the runway to create puddles, and simulated rain poured outside and down the walls of the artsy Chelsea space. Unfortunately, this cleansing drizzle didn't reach the ratty head of actor Vincent Gallo, who sat front row in his personal grease puddle. At first Gallo just stared menacingly into middle distance, scratching his matted beard, seemingly in the midst of plotting the best way to rip off someone's extremities with his teeth. But then Gallo turned cheerful, and we soon saw why: A wee Lord & Taylor bag — clearly swag from another show — dangled from his claws. Obviously, the sweet fumes of a department-store gift card were lifting his dour mood. We're sure he was positively dizzy with the prospect of going necktie shopping.

Diddy-Diddling Denial

Kim Porter is in denial that Diddy is diddling Sienna Miller. (Also, his famous White Party is slated for September 2). Britney Spears was in a fender bender, after which she announced, "I'm a braniac!" On-again, off-again couple Marc Jacobs and Jason Preston are back on. Jeffrey Chodorow is keeping China Grill closed for a few extra days to get a new fridge and get rid of some insects. Phoenix Sun point guard Steve Nash got into a pickup soccer game at Central Park and scored two goals. The Freakanomics guys are moving their blog to the New York Times. Mort Zuckerman gets Harry Evan to help him write his weekly column in U.S. News. Chevy Chase found a $20 bill at a Hillary Clinton fund-raiser in the Hamptons. George Pataki is being considered for an ambassadorship.

Adrian Grenier Learned Nothing From Meryl Streep

Adrian Grenier
In a world already filled with unaffordable, covetous objects, it makes perfect sense that Mercedes-Benz sponsors Fashion Week. As last night's kickoff party at the Box — the latest in Serge Becker's Chrystie Street nightlife empire — showed, we can expect many an outsize sports car to be blocking our sidewalks and crushing our self-esteem these next seven days.

Party Preview: The Week's Best Bashes

Forget about the clothes, it's the parties! There are too many to fêtes to mention all of them, but here are five you don't want to miss. Don't have an invite? New York's Jada Yuan and the Fug Girls will be there to report back on the glamour and the gaffes. Check our continuing party coverage throughout the week for all the photos and gossip. What: Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week kickoff Where: The Box, 189 Chrystie St., nr. Stanton St. When: February 1, 9 p.m. Who: Mena Suvari, Nick Cannon, Michael C. Hall, and L.A. band Shiny Toy Guns. Why to go: Patrick Bateman may not be there, but Jessica Stam can still cozy up to Dexter. What: Vionnet launch Where: Barneys New York, 660 Madison Ave., at 61st St. When: February 2, 6 p.m.–8 p.m. Who: Everyone. Victoria Bartlett, Gilles Bensimon, Valerie Steele, Phillip Lim, Olivia Chantecaille, Meredith Melling Burke, Padma Lakshmi, Sally Singer, and, of course, Sophia Kokosalaki. Why to go: To get a first glimpse of the resurrected French label. What: Rock & Republic after-party Where: Hiro Ballroom, the Maritime Hotel, 371 W. 16th St., at Ninth Ave. When: February 2, 10 p.m. Who: Mark Ronson, designer Mark Ball, and a gaggle of catwalkers. Lady Sovereign will perform at midnight. Why to go: Promises to be the best concert of the week. What: Marc Jacobs after-party Where: The MJ bash is the most sought-after invite. Details are on the deep DL. When: February 5 Who: The Olsens, the Roitfelds, Jessica Stam and every model worth looking at. Why to go: If you have to ask, that's why you're not there. What:Heatherette after-party Where: Roseland Ballroom, 239 W. 52nd St., nr. Broadway When: February 6, 10:30 p.m. Who: Lydia Hearst, Tinsley Mortimer, Amanda Lepore, and Paris Hilton. Why to go: Best place to fly your freak flag.

Heatherette: A Cracked-Out Homage to Aaron Spelling

Picture your high-school production of South Pacific, subtract half the clothes, add some cynical drag queens, and then do three shots of whiskey. Voilà: You have Heatherette's Tuesday-night show.