We love, love, love Heatherette — even though their show is a glamorous debacle every year, and even though we're not always sure where to buy their clothes. Traver Raines and Richie Rich, the house's creative team, are nice, fun, energetic, and brilliant. Every season their train wreck of an exposition is the highlight during Fashion Week. That's why we are hit hard by the news that they won't be showing this February. They were supposed to show at Roseland Ballroom this year, too, which would have meant that everyone could have come, and the after-party would have been glorious. We're trying to find out why they've bailed (they "prefer not to comment," but we'll get it out of them — we run with the same gays, after all), but in the meantime, we've compiled a top ten list of reasons they might have called off the show:
1) They're only doing a "Cruise" collection this year.
2) They, like so many other small fashion houses, fell victim to great glitter shortage of 2008.
3) The only chaps they could find had asses.
4) Tinsley ate something.
5) Boy Meets Boy went back on the air.
6) A six-foot-eight drag queen has Richie and Traver locked up in a basement somewhere in the Village because she didn't get into their last fashion show, even though she WAS INVITED.
7) Lady Bunny ate Lydia Hearst. Totally kidding. She flossed with her.
8) Someone actually wanted to buy something from last season's show, and they had to figure out how to make it again.
9) Richie broke an axle. On his roller skate.
10) Their Amanda Lepore popped.
Heatherette Cancels Fashion Show [Fashionista]
Hedge-fund managers use a lot of lingo. The reason they do this is to trick you into thinking what they do is really complicated, and you are too dumb to understand it. Because after all, if everyone knew what "g-7 crosses" were, everyone would start trying to make piles and piles of money, and then there wouldn't be as much left for hedge-fund managers! But n+1 was not fooled by their trickery. Recently, they sat down a hedge-fund manager and wrung out of him the meaning of some of his people's most confounding words. After the jump, a starter guide to the Secret Language of Money.
In a random but oddly enjoyable interview with Harold Dieterle, the Perilla chef and Top Chef laureate tells Gridskipper he loves Bangkok for its duck and deep-tissue massages — but not that kind.
Debriefer: Top Chef Harold Dieterle [Gridskipper]
When New York ran into Sarah Polley the other night at the Film Critics Choice Awards, we asked the Away From Her director if she'd ever confronted a critic who had given her a bad review. "Yeah, I have," she laughed. "He came to a press lunch for a film that I knew he hated, because there was really good free food, and it was in Cannes. He was kind of famous for doing that. And so I sort of confronted him on how much food he had on his plate; not necessarily about the review, but just how gluttonous he was." How did he react? "He was pretty good-natured about it," she said. "We actually ended up becoming friends." Oh, yeah? So who was it? She wouldn't say. We tried another tactic: Was the film one she directed or one she was in? "It was a film I was in," she said, before floating off in that ethereal way she has. And so we put the question to you, dear readers. Who was the freeloading film critic shamed by Sarah Polley? To help you guess, after the jump, we've compiled some choice lines from reviewers who haven't exactly fallen at her feet.
So we have been watching Bill Clinton's blistering anti-Obama rant from a New Hampshire rally today, and it's really juicy. You know, the one in which he calls Obama's campaign a "fairy tale"? (And not in the good way?) Well, if you listen (and we transcribed below), Bill accuses the Obama camp of secretly drudging up old Clinton financial concerns and preparing a memo about them that was never released. Plus, you know, he goes bonkers. Which is fun enough on its own.
"That is the central argument for his campaign: 'It doesn't matter that I started running for president less than one year after I got to the Senate from the Illinois State Senate. I am a great speaker and a charismatic figure, and I am the only one that had the judgment to oppose this war from the beginning, always, always, always.'"
Is there anything more frustrating than seeing good people grope in the dark for something they already have? We feel it whenever a romantic-comedy heroine searches around for Mr. Right, while all the time the awkward but soulful male lead is mooning for her. Likewise with this thread on Chowhound, where the posters are striving to find the right place in Rego Park to eat Uzbek kebabs. Haven’t these guys ever heard of the Orange Line? Much of the discussion centers on Cheburechnaya, a big kebab house on 63rd Drive that always seems to have a couple of black Mercedes parked out front, contributing to the mobbed-up feeling. Forget that place — it’s all about Arzu. Read and learn, chowhounds: You have nothing to lose but your chebureks.
Out of this world central Asian in the FH/Rego Pk area? [Chowhound]
Related: Riding the V Line: Coming Back Around to Russia
Okay, remember yesterday when everyone made such a big deal out of Stephon Marbury's fleeing the Knicks in Phoenix and returning to New York all of a sudden? Nobody knew quite what was going on, not even Isiah Thomas, who had gotten in a nasty fight with Marbury on the team plane when he told the point guard he wouldn't be starting in the night's game. This spurred a lot of anti-Marbury sentiment, with columnists and pundits and us grumpily speculating as to what he might have been up to. Today, the Times figured at least part of it out. If you haven't read about his activities during his two-day break, pick the most likely-sounding scenario from the below list:
A) He was plotting revenge on Thomas and spending his time figuring out how, as he put it, to "fuck him first." B) He was having sex with an intern in a truck. C) He was at a Coney Island housing project grieving with the family of a deceased basketball coach who had mentored hundreds of talented players in the tough neighborhood, including Marbury (who once gave the coach a white Cadillac with vanity plates).
Ding Ding Ding! The Times says it's C. Who's the jerk now?
A Mentor of Street Ball Dies, and a Missing Knick Appears [NYT]
Earlier: Marbury Stephs on All Our Dreams
Sheryl Crow thinks it's "pathetic" that Lance Armstrong is dating Ashley Olsen. Paris Hilton has been frequenting New York hot spots very late at night (or, rather, early in the morning). Donald Trump Jr. is suing the board members of his West Side condo for kicking him off. Jon Corzine's ex, 48-year-old Carla Katz, is dating a 32-year-old American soldier and former model. Torch, a new club slated to open tonight, is scrambling to get Tiki Barber and 800 other invitees not to show up because the plumbing isn't ready. A guy on the subway once told Matthew Broderick that he looked and sounded exactly like Matthew Broderick.
Christopher Hitchens may not have expected to snag a National Book Award last night (his atheist screed God Is Not Great lost to Tim Weiner's Legacy of Ashes: The History of the CIA in the nonfiction category), but he was in high spirits nonetheless when we caught up with him near his second-row table at the ceremony. He offered to pour red wine into our glass as well as that of a high-ranking female Kirkus editor. We both declined, as we already had other drinks in there. Apparently, his self-improvement efforts for a Vanity Fair article hadn't gone so far as quitting drinking, though he did report he hasn't smoked a cigarette in six weeks. "I'm almost 60, and I should have quit years earlier," he said, before lecturing us about the fact that, "for fuck's sake," the little buggers are evil. When we told him we felt mildly uncomfortable in his presence the day after reading about his thorough waxing for that article (in a procedure he referred to as "sack, back, and crack"), he turned to the Kirkus editor and said, "Want to feel?" She didn't see how she could turn down the opportunity. The Hitch unzipped his fly, we stood guard, and she reached in. We can't personally vouch for what happened in there (and we're ashamed to say we demurred when he offered us a grope), but the editor speculates that he's been doing some post-article maintenance down there. "As smooth as summer cherries," she said. Looks like the Hitch truly is a changed man. —Boris KachkaFor more National Book Awards coverage, including pictures and quotes from Joan Didion, Toni Morrison, Jonathan Franzen and more, read Party Lines.Earlier:At Last, Christopher Hitchens Describes His Infamous Waxing
Ever since designer Marc Jacobs came back from rehab all tanned and buff, some reporters think that he has been "acting out" (clearly said reporters took a one-semester class in child psychology freshman year). There was his infamous Fashion Week show this fall, which was delayed for two hours, followed by infamous verbal fisticuffs with the International Herald Tribune's Suzy Menkes, followed by the hot nudie pictures in Out and Arena Hommes Plus and the blue — sorry "navy" — hair. A concerned Eric Wilson of the Times sat down with him to find out what it was all about:
"In the most basic way I can say it," he said, relighting a cigarette, "coming from a psychological place, what I love more than anything is attention. That is about as honest of a statement that I could possibly make. I want a reaction, because I want the attention."