We're never happy to see a magazine die, just like we're never happy to see a person die. But even though he appears random and cruel, you have to admit that God, by which we mean Si Newhouse, does things for a reason.
• Manhattan's Tonic East restaurant will pay $35,000 to settle a lawsuit alleging that the eatery discriminated against blacks wearing hip-hop clothing and urban wear to a Super Tuesday event for Barack Obama supporters. [NYT]
• Office procrastinators might have to look for a new method for wasting time: Scrabulous is under fire. [DealBook/Alley Insider]
• Airborne, the cold-relieving drug of choice for many cube dwellers around the city, will pay $23.3 million to settle claims of false advertising. Says one critic, "Airborne is basically on overpriced, run-of-the-mill vitamin pill that's been cleverly, but deceptively, marketed." Holy wow. Anyone want to come together and ratchet this up to class-action against "second-grade teacher" founder Victoria Knight-McDowell? [CNN]
Yesterday's speech by Mitt Romney on religion was big news. Forced, like JFK was decades ago, to explain his religion to voters in order to dispel any alienation they might feel, the Mormon candidate made a heartfelt speech mimicking the one made by his Catholic predecessor in 1960. In Texas, he delivered "Faith in America," a sermon he says he wrote himself. Naturally, when we opened today's papers, we were interested to see New York's take on a speech that was so plainly not directed at voters here. The reviews were nearly unanimously positive. "Romney created the most presidential 20 minutes of his campaign," reported Tom DeFrank in the Daily News. "He demonstrated the courage of controversial convictions by refusing to equivocate about his beliefs. Simultaneously, he struck a Kennedy-esque chord."
• Breaking rumor alert: After months of hinting, Topshop has possibly, maybe signed a New York lease. Anglophiles and Kate Moss–ophiles, rejoice! [Fashionista]
• First he’s out as the designer of Dior Homme. Now, Hedi Slimane’s been replaced by none other than BFF Karl Lagerfeld as the photographer of the ad campaigns. Oh, cruel fashion world! [WWD]
• Giorgio Armani’s raking in the dough. The designer sold back a 5 percent stake in his company to Giorgio Armani SpA for about $110 million. [British Vogue]
Inspired by the logic behind an article in today's New York Sun, "U.S. Success in Iraq War Could Hurt Democrats: The Petraeus Report Worries Party Analysts," some other things that could hurt Democrats:
1. A kamikaze-unicorn attack, successfully foiled by the Department of Homeland Security.
2. World's oil resources found to spontaneously self-regenerate every 125 years, thanks to foresight and ingenuity of Halliburton and KBR.
3. Fred Thompson saves Abigail Breslin from drowning.
4. Gay marriage erodes the core of morality; Massachusetts descends into bloody anarchy while New Jersey, Connecticut, and Vermont descend into slightly less bloody anarchy.
5. Election-week Volvo recall.
6. The Rapture.
U.S. Success in Iraq War Could Hurt Democrats [NYS]
Real estate in this city is, as you know, expensive. As we understand it, this is fundamentally a supply-and-demand issue: Lots of people want to live here, but there are only so many apartments. Which is why you should resent Robert and Suzanne Cochran, whom the Sun trots out today as the face of a new trend: uptowners buying second homes downtown. The Cochrans live on Park Avenue (and have a place in Wainscott, natch), but decided to pick up a pied-à-terre — a 5,200-square-foot pied-à-terre — in Tribeca.
We were glancing over New York Sun editor Seth Lipsky's panegyric to convicted felon Conrad Black on the Sun's Website — "Conrad Black is one of the greatest newspapermen of his, or any, time," and so on — when our eye was drawn to the right side of the screen: