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Sheriff Andy?

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• Andrew Cuomo, getting a feel for this whole crusading-A.G. thing, is asking the legislature to grant his office broad jurisdiction and subpoena powers. Our new awesome conspiracy theory: He gets the state GOP to empower him by promising them Spitzer's head — and then subpoenas Bruno! [NYS]

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‘Hairspray’ Premieres, Cont'd.: Newark Loves Latifah

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The marathon of Hairspray premieres ran on last night, stopping just over the Hudson in Newark, New Jersey — and, well, those Jerseyans took things seriously. Nearly 2,000 fans were gathered in front of the New Jersey Performing Arts Center as the celebrities arrived, and they were dolled up in their finest. (“I’m, like, the only underdressed person here,” moaned a jeans-clad teen outside the ladies' room.) Hottie Zac Efron and lovable Nikki Blonsky were greeted with cheers as they entered the building, but Queen Latifah’s appearance drove the crowd to a frenzy. The Queen, a Newark native, broke past press lines to embrace fans who had waited hours to see her. “Go with your own path, stop following everybody else’s," she told the crowd. "And go for your goal. You can accomplish it."

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New York Is Full of Hot Air

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• According to a new study, New York City is responsible for a full one percent of the nation's greenhouse-gas emissions. A remarkable thing about the study: It was commissioned and publicized by our own mayor, who's basing an emission-cutting program on it. [MetroNY] • Citigroup is laying off 17,000 employees in a major slimming-down operation, and its New York headquarters is expected to be hit hard, alongside the megabank's London and Hong Kong hubs. [NYT] • A female teacher at the Newark Boys Chorus School is the latest inductee into the tabloid pantheon after an alleged dalliance with a student; she is charged with two counts of aggravated sexual assault and one count of child endangerment. [WNBC] • Notoriously cash-poor Columbia University is in the money, as 92-year-old billionaire John Kluge is giving his alma mater $400 million for scholarships to the needy. Somewhat weirdly, the money will be distributed among already accepted students. [NYP] • And in a cross-platform twist on an old story, a CBS News producer was fired for plagiarizing, "almost verbatim," a Wall Street Journal article — which Katie Couric proceeded to read in her video blog. Those bloggers: No scruples, we're telling you. [amNY]

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Really, What the Bell?

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• Remember yesterday's sensational admission by a Queens drug dealer that he was once shot — "in the buttocks" — by the future police victim Sean Bell? Disregard. Not only is the guy backtracking, he denies ever saying it to the cops (who say they have it on tape). [NYP] • Meanwhile, in the wake of the Village gunman's rampage, Mayor Bloomberg announced that the city is giving its 4,500 auxiliary cops bulletproof vests (at the cost of more than $2 million). Thing is, though, one of the two slain officers was wearing a vest. [amNY] • And another cop got shot in the ankle. In Park Slope. By a guy who was facing nothing more serious than a possession charge (he was spotted smoking a joint on the street). Great. [NYDN] • The home-buying boom's worst-case scenario is playing out in Newark, which has one of the highest concentrations of brutal "subprime loans" in the country: Staggering debt and foreclosures are close to wiping out entire neighborhoods. [NYT] • And a city councilwoman is proposing a citywide ban on all exotic animal performers, timed to coincide with the circus' arrival at the Madison Square Garden. We wouldn't be the first, either — progressive places from Pasadena to Provincetown have already passed the proposal. [MetroNY]

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