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Office Party Patrol

  1. John Mayer Is Available for Parties, Photo BoothsThe singer made several cameos at the Daily Beast holiday party last night.
  2. Let Us Eat Cake: Undercover at the Blackstone Holiday PartyUsing the old pretend-to-be-on-the-phone trick.
  3. Happy Holidays With L MagazineA print magazine throws a holiday party! Score one for alcoholic underdogs everywhere.
  4. We Went to Our First Office Party of the Season!And we didn’t even have to crash. Our annual holiday-party reviews begin. (Oh, and invite us to your own!)
  5. More Media Holiday Parties Get AxedWhat will we crash this year??
  6. Hearst Cancels Holiday PartyUgh, now we’re going to have to crash the Condé Nast holiday party. And we’re always the only ones there who eat the food.
  7. Video: UCB, We Are Scientists Rock Your Office Party Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and We Are Scientists joined New York Magazine on Wednesday for an office party a little more rocking than those uptight affairs we’ve been covering in recent weeks. While the company president got drunk and the intern repeated everything he’d overheard during his not-brief-enough tenure, at least there was a rock band to compensate for the awkwardness. Plus, everyone who came got a subscription to New York. This actually sounds way better than our holiday party. (Ahem.) Stay tuned for more New York by New York events in 2008. Not Your Holiday Office Party [Video] New York by New York
  8. Sneaking Into Steve Brill’s House, and Doing Shots With the ‘Daily News’Believe it or not, companies are still having holiday parties, even though you’re like, so totally over the festive season. Luckily, you have us to attend them for you, so you don’t even have to get up off your bedroom floor, where you’ve been sitting and weeping for the last three days trying to wrap presents and figure out what to re-gift from last year. Last night saw some big parties: The Hearst gala occupied the bottom floors of their massive Eighth Avenue Tower, and Elle and Elle Décor took over both floors of Socialista. We skipped those and opted for a nice blend of holiday high and low. After the jump, read our reviews of the down and dirty Daily News party at Columbus 72, and the cozy and cultured Clear party at Steve Brill’s Upper East Side apartment.
  9. Anderson Cooper Doesn’t Like Journey, FunThis office-party report comes from our guest correspondent, Anderson Cooper. Okay, so he’s not really a guest correspondent; he wrote about his company holiday party on his personal blog and we’re going to re-post it. But wouldn’t it be amazing if he was a roving reporter for us? We’d send him on special assignment all the time! We can think of a few things we’d like him to get to the bottom of. Ahem, anyway, here’s what the Coop had to say about the 360 holiday bash this weekend: As far as I know there were no terribly embarrassing incidents. You know the kind of thing, when, late at night, you decide you really, really have to tell your boss what you’ve always thought of him. No one seemed particularly sheepish this morning in the office, so unless some incriminating photos suddenly surface, it was a successful party. There was an after party that involved karaoke, and who knows what else, but I got sleepy and didn’t attend. The truth is I’ve never understood the appeal of karaoke, and being asked to sing some song by Journey just seems like a nightmare to me. Wait, wait, wait. Anderson, did you just knock Journey?? Don’t make us reassign you from the 24-hour weather coverage of the heat wave inside our pants. What if they asked you to sing something by Heart? A little “Alone,” perhaps? We can definitely see Anderson rocking out to Hanson’s “MMMBop.” Or at least something by Kylie Minogue. Anderson’s View [CNN]
  10. News Corp. Gets Drunk for Climate ChangeMost companies are kind enough not to have their holiday parties on a Friday. After all, you have enough personal holiday parties to drag your ass to this weekend (we saw you all waiting in line at Trader Joe’s for your half-dozen $4.99 bottles of Merlot). But what does Rupert Murdoch care about your piddling little plans? News Corp. was having their event on Friday, and all one billion of their employees damn well showed up. Their gargantuan party took over several ballrooms in the midtown Hilton, and of course, we duly waited in line (halfway down the block!) to get in, just because we knew you’d do it for us. We were not disappointed — it turned out to be the biggest private party we have ever attended in our lives. After the jump, find out what theme room caught Bill O’Reilly’s fancy, and which video games made the News Corpsies shake their bones.
  11. ‘CosmoGIRL!’ Parties Like It’s Freshman Year All Over AgainLast night saw loads of magazine parties: The blazered GQ staff boogied down at Passerby, Wenner Media rocked out at Madison in the meatpacking district, and W celebrated its continued existence at Death & Co. We didn’t go to any of those, because we were at New York’s own fiesta at the Cub Room. Unfortunately, we can’t tell you much about that, partly because we’re not allowed to but mostly because we can’t remember much — except that we were pleased to learn that our co-workers like to party. And that Jessica Coen will do the splits if you ask her nicely. But we can offer you a report from inside the CosmoGirl soirée, held at the decidedly un-girlie Rumours, a tinsel-decked, wood-paneled sports bar on Eighth Avenue in midtown.
  12. Marc Jacobs Wants You to Strip for the HolidaysHad we even tried to sneak into the Marc Jacobs party last night, we definitely wouldn’t have been able to muster a costume elaborate and erotic enough to blend in. While Marc’s own costume was only skanky metaphorically, pretty much everyone else flexed the boundaries of taste, sexiness, and the definition of the word “costume.” The theme was Arabian Nights, and Marc went as “Camel Toe.” His boyfriend, Jason Preston, went as Abu, the adorable little monkey from Aladdin. Click below to see a slideshow of some of the best chests, breasts, and eyeliner we’ve ever seen at a holiday party. The Marc Jacobs Holiday Party
  13. Dancing With D.E. Shaw and Drinking With BarneysDid anybody watch Matt and Meredith play Guitar Hero on the Today show? Did it make you want to kill yourself? If so, you now know exactly how you will feel if you try to make it through your office holiday party without getting shitcanned. As your co-workers get increasingly merry and begin acting decreasingly pubescent, you have a choice: either get in there and do the Cabbage Patch or run home to your new Battlestar Galactica DVD set. Fortunately, you’re only required to go to one company party. We, on the other hand, have been crashing as many as possible. Last night’s events included the Details shindig at Bowery Bar, the Domino party in some editor’s apartment, and the fabulous annual Marc Jacobs costume extravaganza. We didn’t go to any of those, but we did sneak into the Barneys New York hoedown at Bar Martignetti and the sumptuous D.E. Shaw extravaganza at Cipriani. After the jump, who parties better: finance geeks or fashionistas?
  14. Getting ‘Lucky’ at Pop BurgerThe week of office holiday parties continues on, and we are fully into magazine territory. Last night saw fêtes for Allure at Socialista, Portfolio at Runway, and both Lucky and (maybe) Star at Pop Burger Midtown. We stopped by the last two, so you didn’t have to. Though, really, shouldn’t you be investing in your co-workers this holiday season? A little face time at the company bash might just make those quietly awkward office urinal moments a little more cheery for the rest of next year! Lucky Magazine. We weren’t sure what to expect when we went to midtown to crash the Lucky holiday party. For one, it was on the second floor at Pop Burger (yeah, that’s right, it’s a three-story club) and we weren’t sure we’d get in. And for another, we weren’t sure that sending a six-foot-three man to blend in with a bunch of tiny fashionistas was the best plan.
  15. ‘Wall Street Journal’: Do They Know It’s Christmastime at All?Right about now, the Wall Street Journal editorial team, tragically left out of News Corp.’s holiday bash at the Hilton on Friday, are sitting glumly in the twelfth-floor conference room, sipping “alcoholic beverages and softer fare” and engaging in forced merriment at their one and only holiday party. “I thought we were the crown jewel,” moaned one staffer, who sent us this haiku summing up the festivities: Make merry, they said. Cake. Cookies. Juice. Soda cans. But we ate at our desks. The saddest invitation in the world is after the jump.
  16. Riding the Mechanical Bull With Curbed, Eating Shrimp With Gothamist, and Senior Rock and Roll With ‘The New Yorker’This is a big week for office holiday parties, and it kicked off last night with events for Curbed, Gothamist, and The New Yorker. Both Web parties took place downtown, both had open bars, but only one was kind enough to actually invite us — we stopped by both nonetheless. For the New Yorker party, a spy sent us a brief report to slake our endless thirst for weak specialty cocktails. After the jump, our continuing coverage of your most revealing moments, honest conversations, and miscalculated flirtations. For what is an office holiday party but the corporate equivalent of overhearing someone you know having sex?
  17. Inside the Viacom Holiday Party: Screw It, Let’s Get WastedViacom employees and freelancers weren’t sure what to expect from their holiday party last night. After the company announced they were making major cuts to employee and freelancer benefits, no one was in a great mood. People talked about protesting at the party, wearing “Permalancers Are People, Too” T-shirts and handing out stickers that someone had made on which WTF replaced the MTV logo. Some people were talking about boycotting the party altogether. But at 5 p.m., after HR veep JoAnne Griffith sent around a memo announcing the cuts would be less severe than previously announced, the rage subsided, the angst transmuted into relief, and Sumner Redstone’s serfs succumbed to Weimar-esque debauchery. Daily Intel got a report from inside the belly of the beast.
  18. John Mayer Was the Second-Tallest Man at the Sunshine Sachs Holiday Party What’s that sucking sound? Oh, right — that’s the Ghost of Christmas Present siphoning all feeling but holiday cheer out of the city. It’s December, people, and you know what that means. Company holiday parties! This is the week the season kicks into high gear, and so we’re reintroducing our Office-Party Patrol feature. Last year, we had dedicated partygoer Julia Allison crash company booze fests, but now she is too booby and famous, so we’re doing it ourselves. If we can’t get into a party, we’ll accost the drunkest person we see leaving it and find out everything you’re missing. In today’s premier installment, we take you to the ever-evolving Sunshine Sachs PR party and the ever-devolving CollegeHumor.com fête — and we rank each one for food, drink, venue, debauchery, and exclusivity. Who won? Don’t be silly people — at office holiday parties, nobody wins.
  19. No Band, Little Booze, But Good Food (for Munchies?) at Wenner PartyThere was one last big blowout to catch before Holiday Party Season 2006 wound down: The annual Wenner Media extravaganza. With the bank busted on Rolling Stone’s 1,000th-issue celebration in May, this year’s holiday gathering was less glitzy in the past, with no big-name musical act slated to perform. But that didn’t stop indefatigable party reporter Julia Allison. Her wrap-up — her final wrap-up of the season — is after the jump.
  20. Eating — and Eating! — With the ‘Daily News’; Drinking and Dancing With ‘Star’With less than a week left till Christmas, company-holiday-party season is nearing its end. But for a last few fabulous nights, it keeps going strong — and naturally crasher extraordinaire Julia Allison is there. Last night she hit the Daily News do at the Copa and the Star shindig at Dirty Disco. Which one had a face-painter? Which one had only caffeinated vodka? Julia’s reports await.
  21. Rupert Murdoch Wishes You a Merry ChristmasHappy HolidaysThere’s a general rule of thumb that work events are always held on Monday through Thursday nights, because Fridays are reserved for real friends or for family. Who could flout that rule? Rupert Murdoch, of course, who held the annual holiday party — and it’s called a holiday party, not a Christmas party, Bill O’Reilly — for all New York News Corporation employees Friday night. It’s a huge event, for everyone from HarperCollins editors to Fox 5 local-news guys to 20th Century Fox PR people to Fox News ideologues to all their associated sales teams and managerial staffs and all that. Naturally, Julia Allison was there, and after the jump she takes you on a tour of Rupert’s world, with stops for frat-party booze and trans-fatty food. Yum!
  22. Gawker Hates Holidays and the ‘Observer’ Hates EveryoneHaving gorged on the fantasia of Marc Jacobs, it was time to relax, have a beer, and forget all about the holidays. So off went exhausted party reporter Julia Allison to document the anti-holiday Gawker party and the gayer (in both senses of the word) Observer event.
  23. Decadence With Marc Jacobs; Elegance With ‘Portfolio’ Those who know about such things will tell you that the annual Marc Jacobs holiday party — a themed masquerade ball — is the premier event of the season. It was held last night, and we can tell you that they are correct. Tons of food, free-flowing booze, elaborate costumes, lots of exposed flesh: It’s good to be a fashion designer. Party-hopping Julia Allison stopped by to check it out, and she also went to the quiet, refined party for still-to-launch Condé Nast Portfolio. You’ll never guess which was more fun.
  24. Sushi With ‘The New Yorker’; Pad Thai With ‘Allure’Another December night in New York, another round of company Christmas parties. Last night our roving party reporter Julia Allison hit The New Yorker’s annual fête — where she was allowed inside! — and Allure’s far more subdued affair. After the jump, her reviews, complete with our four-category, scale-of-1-to-5, vaguely Zagatian party ratings. (Spoiler: The New Yorker won.)
  25. Eggnog and Latkes With Hearst, ‘Vogue,’ and the Sunshine FlacksSilver bells, silver bells. That’s right, kids: It’s Christmas time in the city. And what does that mean? Company holiday parties. Lots of ‘em, booze-filled, cheesily themed, and often resulting in embarrassed avoidance at the office for a few weeks. This is the week holiday-party season kicks into high gear, and we’re introducing our Office-Party Patrol, in which dedicated partygoer Julia Allison will crash company Christmas parties on your behalf (or just ask question from outside, when security is too tight) and let you know what you’re missing. In today’s premier installment, we take you to the Hearst party, the Vogue party, and the Ken Sunshine PR party — and we rank each one for food, drink, venue, debauchery, and exclusivity. Which was most exclusive? Vogue, of course. Drunkest? Read on to find out.