"I'm socially retarded, sort of."
Our subtext translator nearly overloads during her last night with Kelsey.
This week's dirty filthy dozen includes Snooki's act of camouflage, Ron and Sammi's trip to church, and an aborted threesome.
"We're sitting in Marcel's lap holding his rod."
"It's an obsessive-compulsive thing, I've read like a hundred articles about it."
Every now and then one of the contestants on this show says something wise.
The analogy, surprisingly, makes more sense than you might think.
These people look better on TV than they do in real life!
The twelve key moments from the season premiere, from the vibrator conversation to "I'm a walking holiday."
Camille arrives at Kyle's bash bearing passive-aggressive gifts.
Let's just say we're glad none of the chefs actually serve dim sum in real life.
"I kicked the extra point with my gold-plated schlong."
And they had to judge some pretty awful wedding clothes last night.
1. Lisa and Ken’s Vehicular Interlude.
This week's episode got its shills confused, highlighting stuffing after Thanksgiving and the U.S. Open in the dead of winter.
Or so says the man who almost got booted off last night.
S'mores are the new contraband dessert in Alaska.