Outside of Carolines last night, where he was hosting a benefit for scleroderma research, Bob Saget weighed in on the rumors that his former TV daughter, Ashley Olsen, has been dating Lance Armstrong, father of three. How does Saget feel about the huge age and respectability gap between the two? “I like Lance, Lance Armstrong is an amazing guy. Amazing guy!” he said. That’s it? We were hoping for something like, "I hate Lance Armstrong. I should be with Ashley." What gives, Saget? "I apologize," he said. He tried again: "You know Tevye and Golde, they were together 25 years! We’re in a society, I don’t think — you can’t really go by people, you know?" Wha? "I’m not giving you want you want," he said, defeated. "I feel bad about that."
That’s okay, Bob, how about you tell us a disgusting story about Ashley, Mary-Kate, and a donkey erection instead?
At the Glamour Women of the Year awards last night, Stephen Colbert exchanged jabs with honoree Nancy Pelosi. During his (in character) introduction of the Speaker of the House, he could only muster: "I am so honored to be here tonight to honor all of these honorable honorees." ("My writers are on strike!" he cracked, moments later.) Colbert went on to praise Pelosi's fashion — over her politics — calling her "by far the most glamorous Speaker we've ever had" (an accolade that received enthusiastic applause). "Whether she's prowling the Capitol steps in a cream pantsuit, or strutting the halls of Congress in a blue pantsuit, or grudgingly clapping behind the president at the State of the Union in, say, cream pants and a blue pantsuit blazer — she always has the right accessories," he said. "While I may disagree with everything she stands for, I will defend until death her right to" — snapping in a fashion-savvy Z — "MAKE. IT. WORK." Pelosi took the jokes happily, (perhaps she's over the time he kicked her virtual ass on Nintendo Wii?), but she saved a barb for him as he left the stage. "Of all the introductions I have ever received," she said to the comedian, "yours is certainly the most recent." —Ben KawallerRead what Diane Sawyer thinks is the biggest problem facing TV journalism, and other important factoids, in our complete quotable coverage of the Glamour Women of the Year Awards.
Jessica Simpson arrived at the Accessories Council Ace Awards at Cipriani-42nd Street to the ultimate nightmare! She was wearing the same sequined leopard frock as the evening's host, and it was Deborah Norville! Uncool. She huddled in the foyer for a confab with her mother. "Should I go home and change?" Jessica asked, according to a spy who was standing nearby. "Just change in the bathroom stall," counseled Simpson the Elder. "Are you kidding?" Jessica retorted. "I'm going home!" That's right, honey, you're not in Texas anymore. Jessica began stomping toward the door, but was pulled back — either by a rush of self-confidence or a wise PR person — and moments later was marching down the red carpet and presenting an award to the CEO of Macy's. It was the right thing to do, even according to her erstwhile teen-pop rival, Mandy Moore, who says that in the same situation, "I don't think I'd be embarrassed. Hopefully, we'd be rocking it in different ways." Yeah, and they were, because, by the way, Deborah Norville is 49. If anyone was freaking out, you'd think it would be her. But her calm reaction was met with approval by none other than the King of Zen, Marc Jacobs. "If the dress is what determines the individual, then the individual should work more on their character and what they choose to wear," he said. "You know what I mean?" —Amy Odell
Just kidding! He doesn't really. See, when we caught up with the stylist and 'mocialite at the Gay Men's Health Crisis Fashion Forward party, we immediately asked him if the news outlets that enjoy teasing him ever mix up his quotes. "The New York Observer, always, always," he said, rolling his eyes. "I literally could be like 'I love Jesus.' And they'd be like 'I love, dot dot dot, to have sex with, dot dot dot, Jesus' and I'm like, Where did that come from?" We don't know why anyone would ever want to doctor his quotes, because that was his answer to our first question, and as far as we're concerned, he hit it out of the park. —Amy Preiser
Marcus Schenkenberg might get to star opposite Kim Cattrall as Samantha's neighbor in the Sex and the City movie, the underwear model told us last night. "It's me and another guy now and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get it," Schenkenberg said over the noise at the Cavalli Vodka party at Cipriani 42nd Street. Does this mean Smith Jared is finished? "I haven't read the whole script yet," Schenkenberg said. "But Kim had a lot of men I think. She's all over the place. Like me." That's adorable. Schenkenberg wasn't the only celebrity enjoying the designer's new vodka line. Fresh from the removal of her alcohol-monitoring bracelet last month, Eve raised a Cavalli cocktail onstage before decamping downtown to check out the party at the Scores strip joint in Chelsea. Wonderful! A wholesome night was had by all. —Amy Odell
Every time dudes we know get down about their male pattern baldness, we point them to Christopher Meloni of Law & Order: SVU. Meloni, one of People's Sexiest Men Alive, wears his baldness with confidence. He carries his bald head high, as though he sees his diminished pate not as a sign of depreciating masculinity, but as further proofof it. Baldness, we imagine he thinks, is the kind of thing that happens to a Real Man, a battle scar from the war that is life. And when we see Meloni do his squinty, angry, muscley, bald thing on L&O — well, our heart just goes pitter-patter. As it did when we ran into him at the Celebrity Charades event the other night. Although, much to our dismay, he did not look nearly as bald in person. In fact his head looked sort of weird. Like it was made of candy. He was quick to assure us. "I am balding!" he said. "I have makeup on because I’m coming from work, but I have a growing ozone hole here." As we imagined, Meloni was comfortable with the aging process. "You know, I actually feel like I’ve gotten better with age," he said. "I’ve kind of grown into it." We think so too! After all, we suggested, it's been said that balding men have more testosterone. "Nuff said," he said gruffly. "As my friend says, grass don’t grow on a busy highway. I’m a deep thinker." Swoon! —Jada YuanHear trash talk from Philip Seymour Hoffman, Bobby Cannavale, and others at the LAByrinth Theater Company’s Celebrity Charades.
He may have an Oscar, but Philip Seymour Hoffman wasn't feeling too sure of his acting ability at the LAByrinth Theater Company's annual Celebrity Charades event last night. "I don't know," he said early on. "We won last year, but we lost the year before last. And we're missing Justin Theroux tonight. He's a very important fellow." Hoffman had reason to worry. His team — Billy Crudup, John Ortiz, Andre Royo, Yul Vasquez, and Craig “muMs” Grant — was weak, and the other teams knew it. "Phil’s team is off," Jeremy Sisto whispered after they failed to recognize Cabaret. "They’re not focused. They're not as competitive." Sisto, on the other hand, was prepared.
Ivana Trump may be about to change her name to Rubicondi, but she’s still got that Trump-family braggadocio. When we asked her if she’d ever seen a yacht as fabulous as Angel Ball host Denise Rich’s 6,000-foot My Lady Joy, Ivana smiled sweetly and answered in true Trumpian style. “Well, you know, the most unbelievable yacht was actually Trump Princess," she said, without missing a beat. “It was previously owned by [Saudi arms dealer] Adnan Khashoggi, then he sold it to the Sultan of Brunei. Then we bought it from Sultana de Brunei" [Ed.: Dude, I think a "sultana" is a kind of raisin.] [BM: What I am I supposed to do? That's what she said.] "then Donald sold it to the banks when he was in certain financial difficulties at a certain time.” That, of course, was years ago, so Ivana brought us up to date. “And then, Ivana, which is my yacht, is also spectacular," she added. Obviously! —Bennett MarcusGet hair coloring tips from Joss Stone and accessories advice from Don King at our complete coverage of the 2007 Angel Ball.
It's mortifying enough to be busted carrying a faux designer handbag (um, not that we would know or anything), but imagine how much worse it must be to be caught by the designer. The other night at the RxArt Ball, Kate Spade told New York about a time she accosted a woman carrying a big ol' fake. "I knew all the bags that were on the street, and this one I didn't know had hit the street yet, but I knew it wasn't real," she said. To add insult to injury, it wasn't even high-quality! "I'm telling you, I was across the street and I could tell," she said. So, Spade said, she walked determinedly across the street to ask her about it. She wasn't going to demand it back or anything, she said, she was just curious as to where they were distributing the new stuff. "Where did you get that?" she asked the woman, who recognized her immediately. "She was like, 'Oh, my God, you're Kate Spade!'" And how did she explain herself? "She said, 'Oh I didn't buy it, my husband did,'" said Spade, who told us that she's since stopped calling out people on the street, although we're not sure we believe her. "Anytime you ask someone, they say that," she muttered. "'I don't know, it was a gift.'"You heard it here first, ladies and gentleman. If Kate Spade catches you carrying a fake handbag, she will hunt you down. —Amy Preiser
"Nobody cares about me anymore; I’m old, I’m out of it; it’s over," Jerry Seinfeld told us last night at the premiere of the hotly anticipated Bee Movie. Hahahahaha!! See why he makes the money? He's such a jokester! In reality, dozens of reporters were clamoring for the comedian's attention, including a pretty blonde from In Style "Are there any beauty products you like?" she asked, earnestly. "Beauty products?" Seinfeld said, making a mock-confused face. "You might wait till the women come along for that question," he said. "This isn’t Queer Eye for the Straight Guy!" Ha! In Style looked genuinely confused. "But " she said, looking sadly at her tape recorder. "Do you have something that you do before you come on the red carpet?" Seinfeld gamely tried to answer. "I like to have my wallet with me," he said. "George Burns’s first rule of show business is always take your wallet onstage with you. Because people backstage seem nice, but you never know." Right? We hear that Renée Zelleweger has sticky fingers. It was perhaps not the answer that In Style expected. She made one final attempt. "How do you feel about plastic surgery?" she asked. "Good!" Seinfeld said. "Really good. As long as it’s not mine. I don’t want to get any." In Style was not amused. "Thanks," she said, and shuffled away. —Ben KawallerIn Style wasn't the only one who had a rough time on the red carpet last night. Click here to read an interview in which New York's Ben Kawallar tanks big-time with Bee Movie directors Simon J. Smith and Steve Hikner.
We all know that starting tomorrow night, the subways will be filled with drunk people in costumes, all the way until Halloween on Wednesday. In case you're still without costume inspiration, despite our best efforts to help your asses, we trolled last night's Fashion Group International Night of Stars gala to ask celebrities what their costumes would be. "It won't be from Ricky's," said Jane Krakowski, who has been wearing a fat suit on 30 Rock. André Leon Talley wrote our jokes for us. "I always go as myself," he said. Not a bad idea: You can do it, too, readers: Just throw on your graduation robe and call yourself an "Editor-at-Large." Princess Alexandra of Greece is dressing her 5-year-old son as Darth Vadar, but she recalled her most memorable costume? "My husband and I were once Catwoman and Catman or something," she said. You mean — BATman? "I don't know — we both wore matching cat masks." We tried Tilda Swinton, another foreigner. "I'm from Scotland where Halloween was invented. We have very different traditions. I'm not really sure what the American tradition is," she said. "I did see a woman on the subway the other day here who was looking through a very sexy lingerie catalogue, picking out her Halloween costume, but we don't switch it that way." Well, we explained, American girls like to look slutty. "Right. Well, I'm looking forward to it — when is it? Wednesday?" Sure is! "I think I'll probably wear my birthday suit." —Amy OdellGet fashion tips from Jean Paul Gaultier, Mayor Bloomberg, and Joan Jett at our complete coverage of the Fashion Group International's Night of Stars.
Last night's launch party for Fox Business Network had so many media and business moguls, you couldn't throw a canapé without mussing up the rug of some very important dude. Seriously, our throats were burning from inhaling the perfume of wealth and success. In one corner of the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Temple of Dendur, Liz Smith chatted with Mel Brooks and Harvey Weinstein. (Apparently, Harvey loves the channel. "I love Roger Ailes," he said, though he would not tell us what he liked the best or whether he ate Money for Breakfast.) In another corner, Oscar and Annette de la Renta greeted Regis and Joy Philbin. And kingly in the middle of it all, like a pair of samurai and their husbands, were Rupert Murdoch, Les Moonves, Julie Chen, and Rupert's wife, Wendi Deng. "Wendi, we love your bracelets!" we cried in unison, suddenly morphing into Blair's sidekicks in Gossip Girl. "They were only twenty dollars," she exclaimed. Wow, we thought. Wendi is so down-to-earth! "But this wasn't," she laugh-cackled, flashing us her index finger, which was adorned with what looked to be the actual Hope Diamond.
Jimmy Carter has a new title on his Nobel- and Grammy-studded résumé: movie star. But the other night at a screening of The Man From the Plains, Jonathan Demme’s new documentary about the former president, Carter was still adjusting to being a leading man. "I’m waiting to see whether I’m going to be a villain or a hero," he joked. Making the movie, he said, made him empathize with the plight of reality-TV stars. "Demme intruded in my life sixteen hours a day, week after week," Carter said. "When I got up in the morning, he was there with two or three cameras; when I walked down the corridors, he was there in front and back with two or three cameras. He would excuse me on occasion — always when I went to the restroom." The movie followed Carter on the book tour for his controversial Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid, the 25th book he’s written during his activist post-presidency. Right! That doesn't make us feel lazy or anything! So, does he have any advice about what the current president might do once he leaves the White House? "I’d be a poor adviser for someone who wants to 'replenish the coffers,'" he said. Snap!—Janelle Nanos
Al Roker sees everything coming, not just storm clouds. When we caught up with him at the Quills Literary Awards last night, we asked him what he thought of J.K. Rowling's revelation that Harry Potter character Albus Dumbledore was gay. "I was not surprised because I always got the sense there was actually something between him and Hagrid," said Roker, who is a fan of the books. "Either that or it was Hagrid and the hippogriff. One or the other." Oh, Al, you kidder. A hippogriff couldn't mate with a giant! (For the record, Joan Allen told us, "It never entered my mind to think about [Dumbledore's] sexuality." Some people just don't have dirty minds.) What we really wanted to know from Roker, though, was obviously how his new friend at the Today show was doing. You know, the only other guy on the show who is bald? Yeah, Tiki Barber. We kind of wonder how he's fitting in, you know, learning how to baste things instead of score touchdowns. "He's funny, he's great, he's on his game. And he's been a heck of an addition to the touch-football team," Roker assures us. Only "I wish he would wear some sweaters for men." —Amy OdellFind out about Gay Talese's guilty pleasures and where Steve Schirripa is partying these days at our complete coverage of The Quills Awards.
The Sopranos may have ended, but the cast is still partying. "The West Wing never partied like The Sopranos, trust me when I tell you," Steve Schirripa told us at the Quill Awards at Jazz at Lincoln Center last night. "So half the cast lives downtown, we'll call, we'll check in. We have dinners, go out for a couple drinks," he said. What are their favorite hangouts? "Oh, that I can't tell you," he said. Dare we guess Little Italy? "Il Cortile's one of our hangouts. You can go to see a Soprano there. It's on 125 Mulberry." And we thought we were just being cute! So what does he think of another known partier, Britney Spears? "I think Britney Spears is absolutely insane. I think she — I know she calls the paparazzi, she tells them she's going down to Starbucks. Why doesn't she stay home? She's got all of these handlers and she can just stay home — let them go to Starbucks, let them go to Dunkin' Donuts. Why is she always going for the coffee? Stay home. Let somebody else — she's always got her hands full. There's cigarettes, the phone, the drink. Doesn't she have lackeys to hold her stuff?" Yeah, really! Brit, honey, put that Jamie Lynn to work. —Amy OdellFind out about Gay Talese's guilty pleasures in our complete coverage of The Quills Awards.
We mean that in the best possible way, of course. Last night at the National Design Awards at the Cooper-Hewitt Museum, we asked the creative power couple if there were ever any other careers they'd considered. “Um, I am basically unemployable, and I probably would be lucky to be a barista at Starbucks," said Adler. "That's the honest truth. I got fired from every job I ever had, and it was pottery or bust." Barneys creative director Doonan said that he wouldn't mind doing a work that was a little dirtier. “I think it would be really fun to design nightclubs, strip clubs — places that are very hedonistic, like, you know, brothels,” he said dreamily. “Oh, it would be fabulous. I’d have Swarovski-encrusted faucets in the bathroom, and everything that was high cheese. It would be couture, but it would be very over the top. With fashion and style you always are constrained slightly. But with anything like a whorehouse or a stripper bar or a pole-dancing club, you can just go bananas, and use every material you’ve ever wanted to use, like fun fur and patent leather. That would be very appealing to me, because I’m actually very demure and not that way.” —Bennett MarcusGet career advice from Jonathan Adler and real estate suggestions from Richard Meier at our complete coverage of the 2007 National Design Awards.
John Malkovich's new Klimt, in which he plays the controversial Viennese painter Gustav Klimt, has a lot of "quite terrifyingly naked" people in it. (Klimt painted a lot of nudes.) But he doesn't imagine all the onscreen skin will sell many tickets. "I once directed a play in Chicago called Savages that had, like, 30 naked people in it," he said at the premiere of Klimt the other night. "It wasn't a big success." Bare boobs and butts just don't have the power they used to, he lamented. “Everything is just a site on the Internet — you know, Celebrity Butts, Bad Plastic Surgery, whatever," he said. "I mean, at a time if you did Last Tango in Paris, that had some meaning. It doesn’t have any meaning now. You can’t really be shocked." Then again, he said: “It hasn’t had a huge effect on me. I mean, I’m 53 years old. I’m not exactly a sex symbol or anything. I’m not really offered tons of sexual marathon work.” Well, at least he's offered some. —Jada Yuan
Last night at the Hugo Boss's "Boss Black" fashion show at the Cunar building, publicists and velvet ropes held us back from super-famous celebrities like Julianne Moore and Kate Winslet. "We're actually on our way out," said Kristin Davis's publicist when we tried to corner her for more SATC spoilers. "My feet are screaming at me," she said apologetically. "They need to be amputated." Okay, ew. Moving on. Speaking of giant celebrities, what does Daily Show correspondent Aasif Mandvi think about tabloid stars like Lindsay Lohan and possibly Jennifer Aniston moving to New York? "I think they're coming here because it makes them look smarter," he said. But, we said, having so much star wattage might change the city, no? Mandvi agreed. "I think there's going to be like a hum in the air. It's going to be like a choir that hangs over the city at all times. Aaaa aaaaa aaaaa aaaaa wherever they go. It could get annoying after a while." We suppose it could. So, did Mandvi ever meet Brangelina? Because we figure all famous and famous-ish people must know each other, if only tangentially. And we were right sort of. "I've met them," he nodded. "They're really nice. They're just normal people." Really? How did he meet them? "Well," he said. "I was walking and they were talking to reporters and I walked past them." He looked at us expectantly. Wait: That's it? How did he know they were normal? "They were talking to reporters, just like everybody else." —Amy OdellGet advice on women's underwear from Ne-Yo and pain-relief tips from Kristin Davis at our complete coverage of the Boss Black spring/summer 2008 collection.
B.D. Wong, of television's Law & Order, won't admit whether he thinks his co-star, hot bald cop Christopher Meloni, is hot. "That's a lame question," he groaned last night at a 25th-anniversary celebration for the Asian-American Arts Alliance at the Tribeca Rooftop. Really? Well, that's a lame answer. "He's one of those people that more people find attractive than not," he grudgingly admitted. Annoying! The correct answer is yes, he is. But we kind of think B.D. — what does that stand for? Wikipedia: Bradley Darryl — is hot, too, especially when he is diagnosing psychopaths on L&O and gets all passionate. So we stuck around. Whom was he voting for? Hillary? "I think so." Okay so if he and Hillary were stuck in an elevator together, and Hillary turned and said, "Aren't you B.D. Wong, of television's Law & Order?" would he acknowledge, in turn, that she was the big Hill? "Wouldn't that be interesting if I didn't?" Wong mused, suddenly mischievous. "I'm just pondering the idea of that…" He went coy again. We demanded an answer, just like Sam Waterston would. He finally broke: "As a human being, I'd want to ask her a lot of dumb personal questions about Monica. But that would be stupid." Hm. We don't know, doctor. We think you actually just tapped deep into America's psyche. Aren't those the questions everyone wants answered? —Tim Murphy