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Bobby Baccalieri Has Some Advice for Britney Spears

Steve and Laura
The Sopranos may have ended, but the cast is still partying. "The West Wing never partied like The Sopranos, trust me when I tell you," Steve Schirripa told us at the Quill Awards at Jazz at Lincoln Center last night. "So half the cast lives downtown, we'll call, we'll check in. We have dinners, go out for a couple drinks," he said. What are their favorite hangouts? "Oh, that I can't tell you," he said. Dare we guess Little Italy? "Il Cortile's one of our hangouts. You can go to see a Soprano there. It's on 125 Mulberry." And we thought we were just being cute! So what does he think of another known partier, Britney Spears? "I think Britney Spears is absolutely insane. I think she — I know she calls the paparazzi, she tells them she's going down to Starbucks. Why doesn't she stay home? She's got all of these handlers and she can just stay home — let them go to Starbucks, let them go to Dunkin' Donuts. Why is she always going for the coffee? Stay home. Let somebody else — she's always got her hands full. There's cigarettes, the phone, the drink. Doesn't she have lackeys to hold her stuff?" Yeah, really! Brit, honey, put that Jamie Lynn to work. —Amy Odell Find out about Gay Talese's guilty pleasures in our complete coverage of The Quills Awards.

Simon Doonan and Jonathan Adler Are One-Trick Ponies

Simon and Jonathan
We mean that in the best possible way, of course. Last night at the National Design Awards at the Cooper-Hewitt Museum, we asked the creative power couple if there were ever any other careers they'd considered. “Um, I am basically unemployable, and I probably would be lucky to be a barista at Starbucks," said Adler. "That's the honest truth. I got fired from every job I ever had, and it was pottery or bust." Barneys creative director Doonan said that he wouldn't mind doing a work that was a little … dirtier. “I think it would be really fun to design nightclubs, strip clubs — places that are very hedonistic, like, you know, brothels,” he said dreamily. “Oh, it would be fabulous. I’d have Swarovski-encrusted faucets in the bathroom, and everything that was high cheese. It would be couture, but it would be very over the top. With fashion and style you always are constrained slightly. But with anything like a whorehouse or a stripper bar or a pole-dancing club, you can just go bananas, and use every material you’ve ever wanted to use, like fun fur and patent leather. That would be very appealing to me, because I’m actually very demure and not that way.” —Bennett Marcus Get career advice from Jonathan Adler and real estate suggestions from Richard Meier at our complete coverage of the 2007 National Design Awards.

John Malkovich Is Depressed He Can't Shock Anyone Anymore

John Malkovich
John Malkovich's new Klimt, in which he plays the controversial Viennese painter Gustav Klimt, has a lot of "quite terrifyingly naked" people in it. (Klimt painted a lot of nudes.) But he doesn't imagine all the onscreen skin will sell many tickets. "I once directed a play in Chicago called Savages that had, like, 30 naked people in it," he said at the premiere of Klimt the other night. "It wasn't a big success." Bare boobs and butts just don't have the power they used to, he lamented. “Everything is just a site on the Internet — you know, Celebrity Butts, Bad Plastic Surgery, whatever," he said. "I mean, at a time if you did Last Tango in Paris, that had some meaning. It doesn’t have any meaning now. You can’t really be shocked." Then again, he said: “It hasn’t had a huge effect on me. I mean, I’m 53 years old. I’m not exactly a sex symbol or anything. I’m not really offered tons of sexual marathon work.” Well, at least he's offered some. —Jada Yuan

Aasif Mandvi Can Hear the Celebrities Singing

Aasif Mandavi
Last night at the Hugo Boss's "Boss Black" fashion show at the Cunar building, publicists and velvet ropes held us back from super-famous celebrities like Julianne Moore and Kate Winslet. "We're actually on our way out," said Kristin Davis's publicist when we tried to corner her for more SATC spoilers. "My feet are screaming at me," she said apologetically. "They need to be amputated." Okay, ew. Moving on. Speaking of giant celebrities, what does Daily Show correspondent Aasif Mandvi think about tabloid stars like Lindsay Lohan and possibly Jennifer Aniston moving to New York? "I think they're coming here because it makes them look smarter," he said. But, we said, having so much star wattage might change the city, no? Mandvi agreed. "I think there's going to be like a hum in the air. It's going to be like a choir that hangs over the city at all times. Aaaa aaaaa aaaaa aaaaa wherever they go. It could get annoying after a while." We suppose it could. So, did Mandvi ever meet Brangelina? Because we figure all famous and famous-ish people must know each other, if only tangentially. And we were right … sort of. "I've met them," he nodded. "They're really nice. They're just normal people." Really? How did he meet them? "Well," he said. "I was walking and they were talking to reporters and I walked past them." He looked at us expectantly. Wait: That's it? How did he know they were normal? "They were talking to reporters, just like everybody else." —Amy Odell Get advice on women's underwear from Ne-Yo and pain-relief tips from Kristin Davis at our complete coverage of the Boss Black spring/summer 2008 collection.

B.D. Wong Really Can Tap Into Your Psyche!

BD Wong
B.D. Wong, of television's Law & Order, won't admit whether he thinks his co-star, hot bald cop Christopher Meloni, is hot. "That's a lame question," he groaned last night at a 25th-anniversary celebration for the Asian-American Arts Alliance at the Tribeca Rooftop. Really? Well, that's a lame answer. "He's one of those people that more people find attractive than not," he grudgingly admitted. Annoying! The correct answer is yes, he is. But we kind of think B.D. — what does that stand for? Wikipedia: Bradley Darryl — is hot, too, especially when he is diagnosing psychopaths on L&O and gets all passionate. So we stuck around. Whom was he voting for? Hillary? "I think so." Okay … so … if he and Hillary were stuck in an elevator together, and Hillary turned and said, "Aren't you B.D. Wong, of television's Law & Order?" would he acknowledge, in turn, that she was the big Hill? "Wouldn't that be interesting if I didn't?" Wong mused, suddenly mischievous. "I'm just pondering the idea of that…" He went coy again. We demanded an answer, just like Sam Waterston would. He finally broke: "As a human being, I'd want to ask her a lot of dumb personal questions about Monica. But that would be stupid." Hm. We don't know, doctor. We think you actually just tapped deep into America's psyche. Aren't those the questions everyone wants answered? —Tim Murphy

Old Punks Mourn Hilly Kristal, CBGB, Punk

Hilly Kristal
It’s hard to believe that the world’s most renowned rock club was started by someone who didn’t care for rock. But that was one of the things we learned at Hilly Kristal’s memorial service at the Bowery Ballroom last night, where Old Guarders like Patti Smith, Joan Jett, and Tommy Ramone remembered Kristal’s quirks: his lumberjack attire, his penchant for bluegrass and brandy-Frescas, and his distaste for loud music. “He was a unique person who appreciated unique talent and innovative acts,” said Ramone. “He knew which performers had something to offer.”

Jack and Suzy Welch Envy Each Other

Jack and Suzy
Last night moguls and media types gathered to celebrate the revamp of Business Week. Henry Kissinger, Dylan Lauren, Atoosa Rubenstein, and Alexis Stewart (Martha's daughter) all rallied at Guastavino's to toast editor-in-chief Stephen Adler. Michael Eisner praised the redesign and then got down to business with us about — what else? — the Fox Business Network."When you have Rupert Murdoch and Roger Ailes doing a project, you can’t discount it," he told us. "So I suspect it will be competitive and successful." Eisner reminded us that he has his own show on CNBC, a network he thinks is "pretty entrenched and well done." "I think it will be a long time before they’re taken over the way CNN was taken over by Fox News," he said. "It's not really analogous."

Rosie Perez Loves John Travolta, the Gays*

Rosie Perez
Rosie Perez is chill when it comes to being around the tons of buff, nearly naked men in the current Roundabout Theatre revival of the 1975 gay-bathhouse farce The Ritz, which she stars in as a talentless singer. "At first it was a little shocking, but now I see them naked backstage and I go, 'Move, excuse me,'" she said last night after the opening. Does the 43-year-old Perez, a native New Yorker, have any memories of Gotham in the seventies? "I remember the blackout in '77 and going to see Saturday Night Fever three times and screaming for John Travolta," she recalls. "And there were a lot of drugs and drug addicts and craziness and sex," she adds. "It was fabulous." Hmm. So, has she ever been to a real bathhouse? "Not a bathhouse bathhouse," she says, "but I did go to a fabulous place on 46th Street called Osaka. You wet-steam, dry-steam, then a 300-pound woman walks on your back. It's great." —Tim Murphy * No, we didn't write it like that 'cause we think they're the same thing. Rumormongers! Related: Kevin Chamberlin of 'The Ritz' Discusses Beefy, Naked Guys [Vulture]

Emmy Rossum Is Our Very Own Gossip Girl

Emmy Rossum
Last night's Skin Cancer Foundation’s Skin Sense Award Gala was for an excellent cause, so when faced with the prospects of interviewing celebrity guests, we kept it very serious. Emmy Rossum, who showed up not wearing Ralph Lauren, was one of our first targets of inquiry. "Have you seen Gossip Girl?" we asked, getting right down to business. "It's entertaining," the Phantom of the Opera star said. "It's a dramatized version of how catty girls schools can be in New York." Hey readers, did you know Emmy Rossum went to an all-girls school in the city? That's right, she went to Spence. She's practically a Gossip Girl co-star! "[Some classmates] were that precocious," she said. "Just, you know, how much money everybody spent on their Sweet Sixteen party. Like, $3 million." Wait, we've seen My Super Sweet Sixteen. Is $3 million supposed to be a lot? "You had to outdo the other one," she explained. Really? More, more! "Everyone would come back each summer with a different nose," she said when we prodded her. "Or boobs. Or mysteriously having lost a ton of weight." Oh, Lord, Emmy, forget anything negative we've ever said about you. You rule, and we're totally buying your new CD where you pretend to be Enya! —Bennet Marcus Earlier: Emmy Rossum Combats Impending Irrelevance With New Music Video (sorry for the mean headline, Em! Call us!)

Regis Philbin Has No Talents

We asked Regis Philbin if he had any special skills or hidden talents at last night's Alzheimer's Association gala at the Waldorf Astoria. "Hidden talents?" He paused and turned to his wife, Joy. "There's got to be something that I do that's unusual, right? What's something that I've mastered?" We suggested sports — for some reason a mental image of Regis doing the butterfly stroke comes to us quite easily. "You're a great tennis player," Joy answered. "No, I'm not, I'm not," Regis shook his head. "He's a great net man," Joy insisted. Regis continued to fluster. "There's got to be one damn thing!" he said. "I'm good at giving nicknames." Really? We asked which ones he had recently bestowed. He looked perplexed. "I gave La Lucci her nickname," he said finally. "Kelly Ripa: Kipa!" Then, silence. "Where are you sitting? We'll come find you later," Joy offered. But they never did. In the meantime we thought of a nickname for Regis Philbin: RePhil. Ha! We kill ourselves. — Amy Odell

Wahlberg Sibling Rivalry Still ‘Hangin' Tough’

Mark Wahlberg
At last night's premiere of We Own the Night, celebrities pondered the nature of sibling rivalry. In the film, Mark Wahlberg plays a cop whose brother (Joaquin Phoenix) ends up challenging him over a nightclub raid. We asked Wahlberg if he was still facing that kind of competition from his brother, Donny. "I’m still trying to kick my brother’s ass," he assured us. "That’s what it’s all about.” Which is funny, because we thought it was all about the fact that his brother's ass had been thoroughly kicked since Marky Mark outlasted the New Kids on the Block. Adam Goldberg feels the same way. "My [siblings] are 12 and like 13 and 10," he explained. "But I have it very severely because they get to wear little dresses and get a lot of attention.” Isn't that always the case? Speaking of dressing up and getting attention, when we ran into Rihanna at the after-party, we had to ask about her trademark hairdo and whether it was inspired by Victoria Beckham. "Is it Posh?" we asked. "My hair is Rihanna," she shot back. "Get used to that!" —Bennett Marcus Read more of our complete We Own the Night premiere coverage!

Janet Jackson Tells Us Why She Won't Get Married

Janet Jackson
We've loved Janet Jackson ever since Control, partly because she seems to have remained relatively sane despite growing up in America's most baroquely fucked-up family. Er, the nipple thing aside. So we were pleased when last night at the Bryant Park Hotel, before a special intimate (read: we weren't invited) screening of her forthcoming film, Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?, we got to ask her a question worthy of James Lipton: What did she learn about acting from playing Penny on Good Times when she was 11?

Anderson Cooper and Nancy Pelosi Have Something in Common

Anderson Cooper
Cable centerfolds Anderson Cooper and Jeff Corwin came together last night at the Museum of Natural History to celebrate their joint project, Planet in Peril. Of course we made a beeline straight for Anderson and introduced ourselves. "I'm working on my biceps," he assured us, without our even asking. Ay caramba, Anderson pays attention to what we blog about! IT'S LIKE WE'RE FRIENDS. Okay, anyway … Planet in Peril included shoots in many exotic locales, like bug-infested jungles and the arctic north. While in Greenland, Corwin told us, everyone had to use the same public bathroom igloo, called a "shigloo" (we have no idea why). Including Anderson. "In fact, the shigloo is only partially covered," Anderson told us later. "It's got a wonderful view. It's quite exposed." Wow, Anderson's glutes exposed. We just had to sit down for a minute. "Nancy Pelosi came to the field site we were at," Corwin added. "I believe Nancy Pelosi may have visited the shigloo." Man, the ice caps have never seemed so white. —Amy Odell Earlier: Iraq Trips Hamper Anderson Cooper's Gym Schedule

Deconstructing District With Amy Sacco

Amy Sacco
We read in the Times yesterday that the financial district is so dead at night, most people who move there experience instantaneous buyer's remorse. Not club impresario Amy Sacco, whom we ran into at Saturday’s Cinema Society screening of Things We Lost in the Fire and who will be moving into her new condo in the District, the luxury development on Ann Street she consulted on, this spring. She thinks the financial district is just fabulous! Of course, as with most people involved in the real-estate trade, when Sacco says one thing, she really means another. Since we have a lot of experience with these things — hello! We've been renters for our entire adult life! — we were able to translate her Realtorspeak, and really, practically read her mind.

Chris Noth Doesn't Heart ‘New York’

Chris Noth
At last night's opening of Mauritius at the Biltmore Theater, Patricia Clarkson confessed a secret. "I never throw away a New Yorker," she told New York. "I have New Yorkers dating back to the 1980s. I have boxes and boxes." That sounds so, um, normal, actually. "She does. I know this," said Chris Noth, passing by. "Not New York Magazine." Noth also had some harsh words about our recent Bill Clinton–as–First Lady cover. "Your magazine has absolutely no scruples," he said. "That’s terrible!" You know what else we're terrible at, according to Noth? Predicting the plot of the Sex and the City movie based on all of the shooting around town. "Have you seen the script?" he asked. "I have. There’s been all this talk of Big and Carrie get married. I’m not going to say yes, or no, but did you see me at the church with Sarah Jessica? No, because I was at the Brooklyn Detention Center shooting Law & Order: Criminal Intent. The pictures everyone’s talking about are me with Charlotte. What does that mean? All I can say is that you people have gotten nothing right." This makes us feel a lot better about the fact that we never watch Criminal Intent. —Jada Yuan

Five Things About Richard Gere

Richard Gere
Last night we ate dinner next to Richard Gere. It was prior to a screening of I'm Not There, a film about Bob Dylan starring six different actors, including Cate Blanchett, in seven different life phases. Gere plays the oldest Dylan. Whatever. The point is Richard — we call him Richard now — is the silverest of silver foxes, and after a while, we forgot all about the Dalai Lama stuff and the, you know, hamster thing and fell straight in love.

Terry George Remembers Being Down Under Rupert Murdoch

Terry George
“I used to work for New York Magazine,” Terry George told us upon seeing our "New York" Scotch-taped to a barricade at the premiere of his movie Reservation Road. “I was a fact-checker,” the Hotel Rwanda director added. With that Irish storytelling gene, George dredged up a memory of his days toiling at this rag. “You can print this: I was kneeling down at the cupboard where all the New York Timeses were kept, because it was before LexisNexis and all that," he explained. "And as I’m kneeling down, I feel these executives stepping over me, and I turned around and looked up, and there’s Rupert Murdoch stepping over so he could go into the executive office. One of my bigger regrets in life is that I didn’t bite his balls off then, you know.” Joaquin Phoenix, who stars in Reservation Road, had a different reaction when he saw our name tag on that red-carpet barricade. “I love this, by the way," he told us. "That they have you here, corralled. —Bennett Marcus

Brody Jenner on Lauren and Look-alikes at Lucid Party

Brody Jenner
At last night's Lucid Absinthe party, packs of twentysomething almost-models spilled out of the back of tightly packed SUVs to enter the Lower East Side's Back Room. "They're like hipster clown cars," observed publicist Alison Brod as she manned the door. Inside, the place was so packed that dainty green fairies (waitresses with body paint and glitter) kept getting their wings caught in people's hair as they tried to serve drinks made with the powerful licorice liqueur (it's the first legal absinthe in the U.S. in decades). Amiable Hills star Brody Jenner lounged in a corner with his friends and chatted with New York. We asked about Lauren Conrad (did you see this week's episode? They totally/maybe slept together again!). "I love Lauren, she and I are best friends," was all Jenner would say, before being yanked away by photographers. Ten minutes later, New York spotted Jenner chatting animatedly to a random male partygoer, who looked extremely confused. Jenner looked up and spotted us and ran over. "I was talking to that dude for like five minutes because I thought it was you," he said. "He thinks I'm a psycho!"

Swingin' Salman

Salman Rushie
Last night Salman Rushdie showed up at the Cinema Society screening of Elizabeth: The Golden Years to very publicly not watch the season finale of Top Chef, hosted by his former-model (and dubious-culinary-expert) ex-wife, Padma Lakshmi. Instead, he spent much of the after-party on the roof of the Soho Grand getting his flirt on with a bevy of tall model-esque beauties, one of whom looked like Padma 2.0. If we’d once been amazed at Rushdie’s ability to rein in a hottie like Lakshmi, we were more than impressed with his ability to keep three ladies entertained at once, using some strange mating dance involving jumping, hand gestures, back touching, and, at times, French. Earlier in the evening we’d gotten a taste of his conversational skills ourselves. Was he witty? Charming? Sexy? Well…

Ryan Gosling Keeps in Touch With His Sex-Doll Co-star

Ryan Gosling
Part of the reason people love Ryan Gosling is that it's possible to suspect that in real life, he's a little bit adorably weird, just like the characters he plays. That's why it was exciting to catch up with him at the premiere of Lars and the Real Girl last night and realize that it's true. The film's plot follows Lars (Gosling) as he falls in love with a sex doll. Gosling told us he was nervous to work with his inanimate co-star at the start of filming, because he imagined he would have to be acting for two people. "But then I met her," the Notebook star said. "She came to the read-through," he explained. "I couldn't stop staring at her. I was fascinated. She had all these beautiful freckles on her face. She was endlessly fascinating to me. I got excited about all of our scenes together." What a delightfully odd turn of events! So where did the doll end up after filming? "Well, uh," Gosling mumbled. "My house."—Jocelyn Guest