Last Night You Missed a Party for Really Dirty ... Words
At Royale in Alphabet City, partygoers gathered with their filthy minds.By Alex Vadukul
At Royale in Alphabet City, partygoers gathered with their filthy minds.By Alex Vadukul
• Eastern Promises screening. Tribeca Grand, 2 Sixth Ave., nr. White St., 8:30 p.m. Stars Viggo Mortensen, Naomi Watts, and Vincent Cassel scheduled to attend along with director David Cronenberg. “Dinner and dancing” to follow at the Soho Grand penthouse. In the film, Viggo Mortensen’s tattoos tell the chilling story of his conscienceless character’s criminal past of unspeakable horrors and men he has killed. In real life, Viggo Mortensen’s tattoos tell the chilling story of which downtown luxury hotels have served him subpar salmon appetizers. May we all pray for the sake of our children and our children’s children that he does not add one tonight.
• The Brave One premiere. Rose Theater, Time Warner Center, 1325 Sixth Ave., nr. 53rd St., 7 p.m. Stars Jodie Foster and Terrence Howard are expected. The movie involves Foster’s character shooting the hell out of anyone who does her wrong. It’s similar to our life, if you replace the shooting with meekly walking away and thinking of a mildly cutting remark a couple hours later.
• Save the Children 75th Anniversary Celebration. Avery Fisher Hall, Lincoln Center, 6 p.m. Expected: Bill Clinton, George Bush Sr., Melinda Gates, Samuel L. Jackson, and more. Maybe it’s still too soon to revive a certain movie-based joke meme from last summer, but we don’t care — we just want these motherfucking snakes out of this motherfucking fund-raiser!!!
• Iconic America party. MoMA, 11 W. 53rd St., nr. Sixth Ave., 9:30 p.m. Expected guests include Duncan Sheik, Tommy Hilfiger, Debbie Harry, Sean Lennon, Alicia Witt, and a smattering of socialites. Iconic America is a book co-written by Hilfiger and George Lois. We await a look at the jacket cover: Did Hilfiger have the courage to overcome his crippling modesty and allow the publisher to put his name in really big letters on something that he made?
• Glamour Fashion Gives Back. Aglow Studios, 421 Broome St., nr. Crosby St., 8 p.m. Scheduled guests include Amanda Peet, Emily Mortimer, Ginnifer Goodwin, and Catalina Sandino Moreno. Quite a collection of actressing talent… you could probably get a one-hour family drama picked up on a major network based entirely on footage of conversations that take place tonight in the women’s bathroom.
• Romance & Cigarettes American premiere. Chelsea West Cinemas, 333 W. 23rd St., nr. Eighth Ave., 6:30 p.m. Writer-director John Turturro will be there; so will stars James Gandolfini and Bobby Cannavale, plus Edie Falco, Bebe Neuwirth, Aida Turturro, and others. Romance, a musical comedy set in working-class New York City, was finished a few years ago and is finally being released, just in time for our joke about how foolish it is to make a musical about working-class types to be ruined by the $100 million-grossing Hairspray.
• Virgin American Airlines LAX–JFK launch party. The Box, 189 Chrystie St., nr. Stanton St., 9 p.m. Expected guests include David Schwimmer, Sir Richard Branson, Jamie Lynn Sigler, Sir Joey Fatone, and Sir Evan Rachel Wood. A fun game for kids: Figure out which two of the three uses of the honorific “sir” in that last sentence were inaccurate. Or check out our Agenda listings for tonight, selected by New York's culture editors.
• Chill Out With Chinchilla cocktail party. Parker, 1021 Madison Ave., nr. 79th St., 8 p.m. Expected guests include hippie socialite Arden Wohl and her sister Joselyn. What happens at a “Chill Out With Chinchilla cocktail party”? One presumes that the chinchillas are plied with gin-and-tonics and whatnot until they get loose and start telling crazy chinchilla stories and engaging in ill-advised chinchilla hookups. Then they’re killed and worn on upscale clothing.
• U.S. Open kickoff event. Xchange at the Terminal Stores, 640 W. 28th St., nr. Eleventh Ave.., 7:30 p.m. Expected: Maria Sharapova, Steve Nash, Eddy Curry, John Starks, and more. But where are the rest of today’s hottest tennis stars? Why, they’ll be living it up at the…
• The Hunting Party premiere. Paris Theatre, 4 W. 58th St., nr. Fifth Ave., 6:30 p.m. Sponsored by the Observer; expect the party stylings of stars Richard Gere, Terence Howard, Jesse Eisenberg, and James Brolin, along with sundry others like James Gandolfini, Sebastian Junger, and Joe Klein. The movie’s a thriller about a ragtag team of journalists chasing a disappeared war criminal around Europe. But in the end, he turns out to be a war criminal with a heart of gold and falls in love with Richard Gere. Or Jared Kushner. Or check out our Agenda listings for tonight, selected by New York's culture editors.
• Hamptons magazine party for Andy Roddick. Tenjune, 26 Little West 12th St., nr. Washington St., 7 p.m. Expected to be on hand: Mr. Roddick, James Blake, Jimmy Connors, and others. Fun fact: Nick Kroll, the gentleman who played Andy Roddick’s mojo in a 2005 American Express commercial, is a star of the new ABC series Cavemen. One of the other cavemen is played by Bill English, whose only film credit is a movie called Beach Party at the Threshold of Hell. Or check out our Agenda listings for tonight, selected by New York's culture editors.
• Illegal Tender premiere. Chelsea West Cinemas, 333 W. 23rd St., nr. Eighth Ave., 6 p.m. Director John Singleton and star Rick Gonzalez will be in attendance. Gonzalez may be best known for his role as “Spanish,” one of the undergrads who helped badger Will Ferrell’s Old School character into marriage-destroying acts of beer-funneling. In Illegal Tender, he plays a college student who metes out vigilante justice in order to defend his mother and siblings. Truly, no actor living today has been involved in a more disparate variety of unrealistic cinematic collegiate situations. Or check out our Agenda listings for tonight, selected by New York's culture editors.
Trapped in the Closet Chapters 13–22 premiere. IFC Center, 323 Sixth Ave., nr. W. 3rd St., 7:30 p.m. The second installment of R. Kelly's "mega-hit urban operetta" is being released online this week, and the man himself is celebrating with a party. The press release says these new chapters will offer "brand-new characters and plot twists that will shock and delight." It does not say, however, who other than R. will attend. Or check out our Agenda listings for tonight, selected by New York's culture editors.
• Dedication premiere. Chelsea West Cinemas, 333 W. 23rd St., nr. Eighth Ave., 6:45 p.m. Director Justin Theroux and stars Billy Crudup, Mandy Moore, and Amy Sedaris will be there. Crudup plays a grouchy children’s-book author, and Moore plays the children’s-book illustrator that his publisher forces him to work with. Might sparks fly between the pair? We will alert you as soon as the Daily Intel Romantic-Comedy Seismograph reports any evidence of flirtation.
• Madden NFL ’08 launch party. ESPN Zone, 1472 Broadway, nr. 43rd St., 11 p.m. This year’s version of the beloved game officially goes on sale at midnight; expected guests tonight include football notables Marshall Faulk and Eric Dickerson in addition to Lil’ Jon, Nick Cannon, and the Philadelphia Eagles cheerleaders. Incidentally, the Eagles may have America’s most homonymic cheerleading team: Members include “Janipher,” “Jennifer,” “Victoria,” “Vittoria,” “Kristie,” and “Kjerski.” These are really their names.
• Gen Art screening of Delirious. Tribeca Grand, 2 Sixth Ave., at White St., 7 p.m. Writer and director Tom DiCillo will attend, along with stars Steve Buscemi and Callie Thorne. Buscemi played a journalist in Interview and plays a paparazzo here. What next? An egomaniacal publisher who longs for his childhood sled? Or check out our Agenda listings for tonight, selected by New York's culture editors.
• Superbad screening. UA 64th and 2nd, 1210 Second Ave., nr. 64th St., 7 p.m. College Humor is throwing this party and gave away 100 tickets to the event. Don't have one? If you're young, scruffy, and have a clever T-shirt, you might make the cut. Or check out our Agenda listings for tonight, selected by New York's culture editors.
• Rocket Science premiere. Regal Union Square Cinemas, 850 Broadway, nr. 13th St., 7 p.m. Rocket Science is the feature-film debut of director Jeffrey Blitz, the man behind the seminal 2002 spelling-bee documentary Spellbound. He will attend with the young actors who play members of a high-school debate team in the movie. With a documentary about spelling bees and a feature about debate under his belt, Blitz need only write a comic book about SAT-prep classes to complete his Aspiring Ivy Leaguer Trilogy.