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Party Town

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Fab Five Wonders if Party Invite Lost in Mail

Glamour Fashion Gives Back event. Milk Studios penthouse, 450 W. 15th St., nr. Ninth Ave., 7 p.m. Tim Gunn, Anna Paquin, Elie Tahari, Padma Lakshmi, and Jamie King are among the expected guests. Todd Oldham has to sit this one out. In case of a catastrophic event, Bravo requires a designated survivor to ensure reality-TV continuity.

Will Woody Allen Escape the Upper East Side?

amFAR New York gala. Cipriani, 110 E. 42nd St., nr. Vanderbilt Ave., 6:30 p.m. An AIDS charity benefit so gala-riffic that Woody Allen is (scheduled to be) venturing south of 59th Street for something besides a Knicks game. Other expected guests include Beyoncé, Sharon Stone, Liza Minnelli, Michael Eisner, Richard Gere, and Rosie O’Donnell. • Joey McIntyre performance. Plumm, 26 W. 14th St., nr Fifth Ave., 11:30 p.m. On the guest list: Drew Lachey, Joey Lawrence, and 400 VH1 producers.

Exhaustion Sets In at ‘Gotham’ Gala

Gotham Magazine Gala. Capitale, 130 Broadway, nr. Grand St., 7 p.m. Truly an overflowing cornucopia of party fruits and sponsorship vegetables, this event is billed as Gotham’s “Seventh Annual Gala” and a retirement party for Tiki Barber; it’s sponsored by Cadillac, the luxury Swiss watchmaker Audemars Piguet, and a London hotel called the Rushmore; entertainment will be provided by D.J. Cassidy, the “Chez-Zam Entertainment Group,” and the “Fifty-Person Rhythm & Rhyme Marching Band.” Scheduled to be exhausted by all of the above are Spike Lee, Ice T, Jon Bon Jovi, Nina Sky, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

Get Hot With Wallace Shawn

The Fever opening night. Acorn Theater, 410 W. 42nd St., nr. Ninth Ave., 7 p.m. First staged in 1990, The Fever (written by and starring Wallace Shawn) involves an "anonymous narrator who wakes up in a war-torn country with a terrible fever, unable to reconcile the privilege he has enjoyed with his current surroundings." Hey replace, "country" with "living-room floor" and "fever" with "headache" and you've described our Saturday morning! Truly, this play speaks to the universal human condition. P.S.: Parties will be sparse this week; the Super Bowl has sucked a lot of celebrity power to south Florida, while the rest of New York gears up for the Fashion Week kickoff Friday. Or check out all our Agenda listings for tonight, selected by New York's culture editors.

Boomers Rock Tribeca!

RSVP to Help benefit. Tribeca Rooftop, 2 Desbrosses St., nr. Hudson St., 7:30 p.m. The red-hot scheduled-guest list includes Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Joe Torre, Elton John, Lewis Black, and Jon Bon Jovi. We respected JBJ before in a somewhat patronizing way, but since we started doing karaoke more, our respect is complete and sincere. "Livin' on a Prayer" is tough to sing when you don't have the rest of the frat party backing you up.

Because Apple Martinis Are So Over

Absolut Pear launch. The Box, 189 Christie St., nr. Rivington St., 8:15 p.m. Carmen Electra hosts. And the pear — so long eclipsed by other fruits as a way to keep your mouth occupied while you pour vodka into your bloodstream — finally gets its due. • High Rise Low Down book party. 820 Park Ave., nr. 75th St., 6:30 p.m. Expected guests include Eunice David and Kathryn Livingston, who are … who are well-known as … okay, you got us. There seems to be a dearth of hot party-heartiness tonight. If the celebs are hitting the town, their publicists aren’t telling us about it. Or check out all our Agenda listings for tonight, selected by New York's culture editors.

Here, You Never Know What You'll Win

“Room to Grow” children’s charity benefit. Christie’s, 20 Rockefeller Plz., nr. Sixth Ave., 6:30 p.m. Uma Thurman hosts; Josh Lucas, John Leguizamo, and Ken Burns expected to attend, along with Garine Zerounian, senior director of international public relations at Polo Ralph Lauren and winner of the “Party Town” Randomly Selected Member of the Benefit Committee Contest. Congratulations, Garine!

‘Unpredictable’ Party Guests Actually Pretty Predictable

Jamie Foxx Unpredictable tour after-party. Marquee, 289 Tenth Ave., nr. 27th St., 10 p.m. Scheduled guests include Jay-Z, Beyoncé, Will Smith, Spike Lee, Pharrell, Alicia Keys, Hype Williams, Swizz Beatz, Jamal Crawford, and Nate Robinson. We're not familiar with the work of the special guest D.J. Sky Nellor (an ex-model from Australia), but we suspect that if she falters, there might be a few people in the crowd who could step in.

A Garden Party

"Madison Square Garden's 50 Greatest Moments" premiere for the series finale. Theatre at Madison Square Garden, 4 Penn Plz., nr. 32nd St., 7 p.m. Expected: Willis Reed, Mark Messier, John Starks, Spike Lee, Walt "Clyde" Frazier. To put it in terms Clyde would understand, attendees will be cheering and premiering, appearing and rehearing (broadcasts of famous moments in Garden history). It is unlikely that there will be any racketeering and civil engineering taking place, but one never knows.

Celebrate Raquel Welch's Beauty

Raquel Welch/MAC Beauty Icon dinner. Gilt Restaurant at the New York Palace Hotel, 455 Madison Ave., nr. 49th St., 7 p.m. MAC is holding this event, expected to be attended by Petra Nemcova, Emmy Rossum, Bridget Moynahan, Tim Gunn, and others. It's honoring Raquel Welch for literally nothing except being hot. A lot of other hot people will be there, and given its location across the street from New York's offices, we may just saunter over to creepily ogle the guests in person.

Museum Movies, Home Technologies, Musical Tributes

Sleepwalkers premiere. MoMA, 11 W. 53rd St., nr. Sixth Ave., 5 p.m. Director Doug Aitken will be there to see his short films projected on the side of the museum. Bjork, David Byrne, and Laurie Anderson will be among those commiserating about sore necks at the 7 p.m. cocktail reception.

Terror at the ‘24’ Premiere?

24 screening. Core Club, 66 E. 55th St. nr. Park Ave., 7 p.m. Jack "Kiefer Sutherland" Bauer will be on hand to host. Harvey Weinstein, Tommy Hilfiger, Kenneth Cole, and Damon Dash are supposed to be there too, unless their limos are hijacked by teams of ruthless (but daring) narco-terrorist rebel Marxist ninjas. • The Scene opening night party. Spanky's BBQ (really!), 127 W. 43rd St. nr. Broadway, 9:20 p.m. Stars Tony Shalhoub and Patricia Heaton will be there; actorish types including Annabella Sciorra, Julianna Margulies, and Andrew McCarthy are also promised. Sciorra and Margulies have both done sex scenes with James Gandolfini on The Sopranos. Is McCarthy next?

Reality-Show Royalty at the Marriott Marquis

YMA Fashion Scholarship Fund gala. Marriott Marquis, 1535 Broadway, nr. 45th St., 7:15 p.m. Tim Gunn emcees a ceremony honoring Paula Abdul "for her devoted support of young people seeking higher education." It's like the Yalta of weekly-elimination talent shows. • Jean-Paul Goude exhibit opening dinner. Hasted Hunt Gallery, 528 W. 20th St., nr. Tenth Ave., 6:30 p.m. Scheduled guests include Sarah Jessica Parker and Janet Jackson. What if Sarah Jessica and Janet hit it off and ended up collaborating on a sexy-shoe-related eighties-dance-pop musical-drama television series? The DVD collections of sororities across the nation would never be the same, that's what.

Michael Musto Keeps Exposing Himself

La Dolce Musto book party. Room Service, 35 E. 21st St., nr. Broadway, 9 p.m. Promised guests include Michael Musto, Timothy Greenfield-Sanders, Moby, and Duncan Sheik. Also: Rosie Perez and Perez Hilton, and it’s really too bad Paris Hilton isn’t coming, because then that would be, like, three people with interchangeable names! Maybe there’ll be a transgender performance artist named Hilton Rosie or something? Rosie Hilton? Boutros-Boutros Perez?

Holiday Exhaustion Leaves Social Calendars Empty

This place is dead! After the holidays and New Year's Eve, red carpeters have no more stamina. Parties will resume over the weekend, after everyone is rested, revitalized, and ready to leave town again.

Russian Intellectualism Is the New Spirit of Christmas

As we get closer to Christmas, the citizens of Party Town begin to flee. Festive occasions thin out this time of year. The Coast of Utopia: Part II – Shipwreck opening. Vivian Beaumont Theater, Lincoln Center, 150 W. 65th St., nr. Broadway, 6:45 p.m. If you don't already have tickets to Tom Stoppard's trilogy, too bad. By the time you read this, even the 3 p.m. matinee on New Year's Eve will be sold out. You'll have to see Billy Crudup and Ethan Hawke another time. Just rent Big Fish and Gattaca — it's the same thing. Or, check out all our Agenda listings for tonight, selected by New York's culture editors.

The Road to the Oscars Starts Here, If You're Algerian

As we get closer to Christmas, the citizens of Party Town begin to flee. Festive occasions thin out this time of year.Days of Glory screening. Tribeca Grand Hotel, 2 Sixth Ave., nr. Walker St., 7:30 p.m. Ludacris hosts a reception for the film — about African soldiers who side with the French in the fight against the Nazis — which is Algeria's submission to the Academy Awards. Algeria won an Oscar for Z in 1969 and is tied with Canada, the Czech Republic, Russia, and Taiwan for three nominations in the Best Foreign Language Film category. Good luck with the 2007 Oscars, Algeria. We're all pulling for you. Especially Ludacris, and perhaps Tommy Hilfiger and Al Sharpton, who might also be there. Or, check out all our Agenda listings for tonight, selected by New York's culture editors.

Tribute to Nigerian President Is a Gas

As we get closer to Christmas, the citizens of Party Town begin to flee. Festive occasions thin out this time of year.Nigerian President Olusegun Obasanjo tribute. Waldorf-Astoria Hotel, 301 Park Ave., nr. 49th St., 6 p.m. Hosted by Andrew Young, former mayor of Atlanta and ambassador to the U.N. Black tie or national dress required. Go with national dress; black tie is so dull and drab. Sponsored by Chevron! Or, check out all our Agenda listings for tonight, selected by New York's culture editors.

Get in Bed With Sean Penn

Creative Coalition Gala. Duvet, 45 W. 21st St., nr. Sixth Ave. Hop on a bed with Sean Penn and pretend you're in a little rescue boat with him. He's also winning the Christopher Reeve Award for "unwavering convictions in the face of pressure." Like when he told off Chris Rock for making fun of Jude Law at the Oscars. Oh, and Marcia Gay Harden, Harvey Keitel, and Branford Marsalis will be there too.

Marquee Party Hot With Cat-Scratch Fever

Marquee Third Anniversary celebration. 289 Tenth Ave., nr. 27th St., 11 p.m. Marquee has a bad rap because of the Hilton-Lohan factor, but the general vibe and bathroom-line conversation are considerably less smug and/or date rape-y than your average Murray Hill bar. Still, God willing, tonight will degenerate into some sort of tabloid-tastic, coked-out skank brawl for the ages.