Madonna Delivers a Sugar RushPlus a new track from Silver Jews, Snoop’s country move, and a Peaches remix of the B-52s.
last night’s gig
Peaches Sees Alanis’s ‘Humps,’ Raises Her One Pair of Fudge-Stained PantiesSmutty diva Peaches, who virtually defined the porno-electro rage of the new millennium with her mind-numbingly catchy song “Fuck the Pain Away,” took the stage last night at the HighLine Ballroom, and truly brought the filth.
in other news
Remnick Reveals ‘New Yorker’ Hiring CriteriaThough they probably made it difficult for j-school students to score juicy interviews, recent revelations of superpower editors in the media have made us feel that we’re not sure the days of the shy and retiring redliner RIP, William Shawn were so bad after all. In today’s Independent, New Yorker editor David Remnick rapidly reduces our opinion of him as he tells us that he went to a fancy college “God knows why” his worst trait as a journalist is his “lack of concentration,” Iraq is “so depressing,” and though he doesn’t “write so much,” as the editor, he gets to be himself “with all its grave limitations.” False modesty is all very well, but Remnick’s ruminations about himself as a child make us worry that some of those grave limitations have totally carried over into the magazine’s present incarnation. Remembering his own precocious youth, Remnick confesses: “If I come across a kid who’s 12 or 13, who seems a little pretentious and doesn’t really quite know what he or she is talking about, I think that’s OK. It means they’re interested.” Ladies and gentleman, you heard it here. The mystery of Adam Gopnik’s ascendance at the mag … SOLVED.
David Remnick: ‘New Yorker’ Stories [Independent]
neighborhood watch
The Splasher Goes Corporate?East Village: The partly opened Bowery Hotel may be inspiring an Old Brooklyn–style black-star design trend in the area. [Curbed]
Gramercy: Does replacing fluorescent lighting with track lighting make an otherwise cookie-cutter Dunkin’ Donuts outlet upscale? [The Real Estate/NYO]
Greenpoint: Whoever pays $2.5 million for an unlandmarked Victorian gem will likely tear it down to rebuild on its ample land. [Brownstoner]
Harlem: Say good-bye to the Sugar Shack, home to great D.J.’s, dancing, poetry readings, and all-around uptown fun. [Uptown Flavor]
Red Hook: Looks like Ikea is joining the infamous “Splasher” in the assault on Brooklyn street art. [Gowanus Lounge]
Williamsburg: And speaking of the Splasher, does new evidence suggest that the culprit is actually … American Apparel!?!? [i’m not sayin, i’m just sayin]
At the Market
Cute! Kiwiberries and Other Fresh ‘Babies’
In a culture that prizes youth, it’s no surprise that we’ll pay twice as much for a half-size fruit or vegetable if it’s called a “baby.” But are those Lilliputian Brussels sprouts and their ilk actually young? And do they have a special taste?
intel
Cursed Brooklynites Seek Relief
What doesn’t Brooklyn have? An ad in today’s Metro promised to undo the curses that plague us, be they addictions, debt, rage, or witchcraft. But if you can’t make it out to the Universal Church in Bedford-Stuyvesant on Friday night at seven, call ahead and reserve a prayer. We asked for help in getting rid of our migraines, and the gentleman working the phones added us to the list. Doctors “won’t fix all your problems,” he said, encouraging us to stop by the church sometime: “How can you taste the food if you never go in the restaurant?” Caution to the cursed: Our man said the phone has been ringing ever since the ad hit the streets, so your prayer may not be answered in a timely fashion. Jocelyn Guest
Metro New York [Official site]
the follow-up
Last Week in Minor MisunderstandingsIn this installment of our remarkably lax-on-ourselves annotated errata, we’re not quite apologizing for a Nader flub, a Central Park slight, and another Brooklyn border gerrymander. But we do find it necessary to clarify a few things.
grub street
Rats Ruin It for Everyone
Grub Street brings us the worrisome news that the New York City Department of Health is going all vigilante on area restaurants following last week’s embarrassing rat infestations. This weekend’s victims? West Village stalwart John’s Pizzeria and neighboring Risotteria. Operators of both restaurants were furious, as were thwarted customers. Grub Street has all the dirt (which may or may not be in the restaurants themselves).
Customers Rush to Pizzeria’s Defense [Grub Street]
Back of the House
Customers Rush to Pizzeria’s DefenseThe Health Department can’t win for losing: Having failed to close the vermin-infested KFC–Taco Bell, they’re now taking heat for temporarily shutting down coal-oven institution John’s Pizzeria and neighboring Risotteria. Both restaurants protested their closure in the most emphatic terms, and their customers, far from being spooked, jumped right onboard. In a letter put up alongside the closure notice, John’s tells passersby that the city is “trying to save face”: “After SEVENTY years in business, they have decided we need a sink CLOSER TO the pizza-making area,” the note explains. Loyal customers have contributed their own sentiments: “First they came for the smokers,” wrote one libertarian, “then the pizza lovers.” Meanwhile, a punning Risotteria fan has declared that the inspectors are “full of beans.” Your move, Health Department.
company town
‘Voice’ Voiceless, AgainMEDIA
• David Blum out at the Village Voice. He was the fourth editor there since December 2005. [Gawker]
• Flummoxing DVR users everywhere, ABC green-lights a sitcom based on the Geico cavemen commercials. [WSJ]
• Pulitzer judging starts today at Columbia University; judges from Willamette Week, the Indianapolis Star, and others read actual printed copies of newspaper articles. [E&P]
intel
We’re Losing the Portable-Toilet Naming Contest
New Yorkers are always trying to be cleverer-than-thou, even when it comes to naming their portable toilets. The city is awash in portalets from companies called “A Royal Flush” and “Call-A-Head.” But we’ve got nothing on the rest of the country. We consulted The Blue Book of Building and Construction to find the top twenty unfortunately named portable-toilet companies from near and far:
20. Happy Can Portable Toilets, Atlanta
19. Drop Zone Portable Service Inc., Frankfort, Ill.
18. Blackmas Best Seat In The House Inc., Bradley, Ill.
17. Plop Jon Inc., Port Saint Lucie, Fla.
16. A.S.A.P. Port-A-Pots Inc., Hampstead, Md.
15. Ameri-Can Engineering, Argos, Ind.
14. Bobby’s Pottys, Joppa, Md.
13. Johnny On The Spot Inc., Old Bridge, N.J.
12. LepreCAN Portable Restrooms, Chicago
11. Loader-Up, Inc., Sarasota, Fla.
10. Mister Bob’s Portable Toilets, Vero Beach, Fla.
9. Royal Throne, Washington, D.C.
8. Tanks Alot, Tomball, Tex.
7. Tee Pee Inc, Roseville, Mich.
6. Wizards of Ooze Ltd., Anacortes, Wash.
5. Oui Oui Enterprises Ltd., Chicago
4. Gotta Go Potties, Tobyhanna, Pa.
3. UrinBiz.com, Chicago
2. Willy Make It?, Oregon City, Oreg.
1. Doodie Calls, New Orleans
— Andrew Adam Newman
