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Person Of The Year

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Here's Looking at You

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Last year, Time Inc. laid off hundreds and hundreds of workers from all different departments and publications. This year, the mag giant has been trying to sell off a whole division. And now comes news that 27 consumer-marketing employees were laid off yesterday. It almost makes you wonder who's left to keep the place running. And then suddenly Time's whole "You Control the Information Age" Person of the Year thing makes sense. Head's up, You: You start Monday. Holiday Hatchet Handiwork at Time Inc. [NYP] Earlier: You're the 'Time' Person of the Year, and Joel Stein Has Penis Envy

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You're the ‘Time’ Person of the Year, and Joel Stein Has Penis Envy

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Oh, happy day. After weeks — nay, months — of buildup, Time's Person of the Year issue is here. And if that's not exciting enough on its own, it gets so much better: We're the Person of the Year! (And so are you! And you! And even you, little Timmy!) Yep, that's right: This year's Person of the year is "You" — which is to say, the blogger, Flickr'r, YouTube uploader, Wiki contributor, and hive-minderer who the flagship title of a massive media company has now decided actually holds the keys to the Information Age. Naturally, then, Joel Stein takes a spin through multiplayer virtual world Second Life to find out what the hell You're up to — which, this being Joel Stein reporting, is sex:
I spent the next 4 1/2 hours with Cristal as she took me to a waterfall, a snowy Christmas scene, a shipwreck and a sex club. At some point, she offered me a free penis. Much as I didn't want to take it, it's damned hard to tell even a fake woman that you don't want the free penis she's giving you.
The Freudian reading of this is unavoidable, that castrated Old Media is strapping one on just to stay in the nubile Web 2.0 game. It's also terrifying. Because if print media's wandering off to have sex online while leaving bloggers to handle the real reporting, we foresee much less coverage of Baghdad and much more of the Lower East Side. My So-Called Second Life [Time]

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It's Not Easy Being a Pataki

Breaking: Tinsley Mortimer shops for her own groceries! Kevin Federline is broke, steals food and booze from a restaurant. Emily Pataki failed the bar exam. How Kennedyesque. Former Tom Cruise sparring partner Brooke Shields is going to his wedding, perhaps as a publicity stunt. Nicole Kidman probably isn't pregnant, Ivanka Trump maybe had a boob job, but Tom DeLay definitely nominated about-to-be House Speaker Nancy Pelosi as Time's Person of the Year. Dave Chappelle bowed out of a gig for HBO, and HBO isn't happy. Axl Rose brought some strippers to Soho House. Borat's cultural learnings may soon be available in a Barnes & Noble near you. (Meantime, he'd do well to avoid getting into a fight with fellow Kazakh Wladimir Klitschko.) Bruce Springsteen made a surprise appearance at a London concert; the crowd liked him. George Gershwin and Ed Bradley were honored at Lincoln Center, where it is discovered that Mr. Gershwin used to be quite the ladies' man. Liza Minnelli played a $1 million bat mitzvah pro bono. A former America's Next Top Model winner ditched Tyra Banks as her manager, changed her last name. Angelina Jolie was going to adopt an Indian kid, but Madonna scared her off.

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